Single Parents

My CS sitch

Don't worry, I won't post any numbers.

I technically make enough to get by without any CS, but STBX actually usually pays it.

I have a fairly decent amount of debt in student loans and one ugly credit card balance that I am trying to pay down.

Since I can afford to support DS on my own, should I be saving the CS money solely for him? Or in your opinion, would it be appropriate to use more of "my" money to pay toward my debt, and use all the CS money to pay for daycare or whatever else (which would free up more of "my" money to pay those bills), even though I don't NEED to? 

I always see people advising women to file for CS no matter what, even if they don't need the money, and just putting it away for the child. So I guess I'm kind of in that situation, although using the money would help set up a better financial future for me and DS.  

ETA: I might DD this later in case I am being stalked.

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Re: My CS sitch

  • All the CS I get (or when I get it..) is direct deposited into his Savings. If I need a little extra I'll take some out. Most weeks I can get by on my own salary. I also put $400 a month into savings and $100 a month towards his 529 plan. Some weeks all my bills seem to hit at once and I use the CS for some daycare coverage. I save as much as I can bc you never know when the checks will stop. So I've learned.. If you haven't filed do it. Ex was paying me a certain amount a month and when I went thru the state, that amount was doubled. I don't see how or why someone would say they don't "need" the money.
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  • imageJCGreene85:
    All the CS I get (or when I get it..) is direct deposited into his Savings. If I need a little extra I'll take some out. Most weeks I can get by on my own salary. I also put $400 a month into savings and $100 a month towards his 529 plan. Some weeks all my bills seem to hit at once and I use the CS for some daycare coverage. I save as much as I can bc you never know when the checks will stop. So I've learned.. If you haven't filed do it. Ex was paying me a certain amount a month and when I went thru the state, that amount was doubled. I don't see how or why someone would say they don't "need" the money.

    Oh yeah, I filed long ago and I get the money. For a while I was only working PT while looking for something FT so I needed the money then. Since I started a new job, I've been able to let the money accumulate. It goes onto a debit card so it is just sitting there and I am thinking it would be nice to use some of it to pay off some of this debt, but I feel like it's not mine to spend. Even though I did use my money to pay for everything on my own for all the months I didn't touch it, kwim?  

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  • Having a child is really expensive. There are things you are paying that go towards B that you may not even realize, like the extra rent/mortgage in having his bedroom, toys, books, gas, food, etc. Any money you get in CS DOES go towards B, even if you use that money to pay off debt. Money from your paycheck would be going towards B's expenses, and the CS check, whatever you choose to spend it on, would be money that B's dad is paying to go towards B's living expenses. I don't think I'm doing the best job of explaining this, but I absolutely think that you should use that money to pay off debt.
  • I would... I see where you're coming from. I say go for it. You have been using all of your money so far. If you feel guilty about it, use it in increments. 
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  • imagealibabbbs:
    Having a child is really expensive. There are things you are paying that go towards B that you may not even realize, like the extra rent/mortgage in having his bedroom, toys, books, gas, food, etc. Any money you get in CS DOES go towards B, even if you use that money to pay off debt. Money from your paycheck would be going towards B's expenses, and the CS check, whatever you choose to spend it on, would be money that B's dad is paying to go towards B's living expenses. I don't think I'm doing the best job of explaining this, but I absolutely think that you should use that money to pay off debt.

    This is exactly how I feel.  If XH and I lived together, we wouldn't be putting X amount into savings for the kids, most likely.  We'd be putting it towards debt and expenses and recreation for the family.

    And hey, being debt-free is a great example to set for your kid!

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  • The money you are getting is to support DS each month.  The money should go towards daycare, clothes, food, housing, and the like.  If the money was just to give to DS, he could put the money into a savings account, he wouldn't have to pay it to you directly.  The money is being paid to YOU so that you can provide DS's needs regularly.

    Use the CS to pay for DS's costs (with you paying the remainder of DS's costs after CS) and in turn, put your excess money towards your debts.

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  • I would use it to pay down your debt, sock it away in savings, or start a college fund for DS.
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