I'm going to strangle my husband. Lost it today.
We got the debit cards today. They are the Walmart kind where SD gets one in her name, and DH has one in his name so he can load it here, and it's immediately available to SD where ever the hell she is. For the record, I am against this - this is all so DH can easily handle whatever money issues SD has and I no longer have to get involved. Or so I thought....
I give it to DH and he tells me "You're going to have to get with her because apparently it's going to be hard for her to pay for a phone or something where she's at and they only have one car now so she can't just run and take care of it."
For about a second I don't say anything. My head starts twitching to the right and steam is coming out of my ears for multiple reasons.
Me: "Um. No. I'm doing that."
DH: "What? Why?"
Me: "BECAUSE - I - AM- NOT - INVOLVING - MYSELF - ANY. MORE."
DH: (confused stare) Why not??
And off I go....
Me: "We talked about this! First of all, I have no plans to talk to her any time soon after the things she said. She's made it VERY clear she doesn't like me and doesn't want my opinion so I am done trying. You and I both know I don't deserve it and I am DONE with her disrespect and attitude. Second, I don't buy that crap she can't pay for a phone where ever she's at. It's a card. She and her boyfriend can plan a trip into town and they can pay for it over the phone or by internet. And I DON'T CARE they only have one car now and it's not easy for her! DON'T CARE! I'm tired of this sh*t! They wanna go play house, then THEY NEED TO GROW THE F UP AND FIGURE IT OUT! That's what grown up's playing house DO. If it were up to me, I wouldn't give her one freakin' cent! So if you want to continue to cater to her guilt trips and her latest little drama fueled whim, then go be her daddy and YOU call her and YOU TWO figure it out. LEAVE ME OUT OF IT! I'm DONE! NO MORE! GOT IT!? Her phone gets cut off 9/7. PERMANENTLY!!"
DH: "Fine."
We got to oure respective corners. In fact, he just left.
I am SO sick of this. I just lost it and now I'm bawling because I am SO sick of being the one that everybody wants to run their flippin' errands and make their lives easier. Do I get one thank you? Never. Well f*ck that. I'm not a goddamned doormat anymore.
You are damn flippin' skippy I'm a b*tch. It's the only way I get heard and respected in this family so all y'all better get flippin' used to it - or hide, because I just kicked it up one more notch.
Re: I'm going to strangle my husband. Lost it today.
It some ways I think father's of divorce will never "get it". This is something my DH would do/say.
I gotta get it together. This week I resolved myself to move forward in a positive direction and not lose it again because none of them are worth it in my opinion. I have better things to do with my life.
I'm tired of being pissed off about this. It shouldn't even be an issue anymore. 5 years of this is enough.
Today I think I did that today Jen. I don't think he intentionally sets out to disrespect me that way, I just don't think he realizes that SD is never going to change.
DH came back and apologized. He said he'll handle it and that he's going to lecture SD about her attitude toward me. I told him to not bother with the lecture because she will never listen and she will only resent me and DD more. Going forward, do whatever it is you feel you need to do, just don't let it ever affect this household and just quit involving me.
I don't know if he really gets it, but it doesn't matter. I'm not lifting another finger to help either of these kids or DH in regards to the kids.
They are not worth it. They will only ever bring you pain, hurt and disappointment. There will never be anything positive in this relationship for you and your H, and it is because they CHOOSE to behave that way. They are adults. They are not children. They have 100% control over their actions, and they are choosing to act like immature, selfish, lowlifes. You cannot change that.
Good for you for standing your ground. The one that really needs to stop being a doormat in this situation is your H. He needs to find his balls when it comes to her and her shenanigans.
Hope he's not doing this and expecting you to take c/o things again, though...
GL!