Trying to decide if I am ready to start BFing

ohiostategal · August 2011

I have such a hard time with this issue and honeslty feel so guilty about it that I don't even share my real feeling about it with anyone IRL. I really wanted to BF and have been able to despite a low supply thanks to two rounds of perscriptions, lots of herbal meds, a lot of pumping (that never resulted in any milk) and nursing on demand. We finally established a somewhat decent supply though I have always had to supplement.

DS is 4 months old tomorrow though and I feel I am about done. I feel so guilty about this because I can continue to BF. I just feel ready to stop. DS already takes a decent amount of formula and does fine with it and the bottle. Also because of my low supply he is never full from me and I am constantly BFing and then giving a bottle which takes such a long time. I am somtimes feeding every hour. Also he is now starting to scream when I offer him the breast and I feel like I am forcing him to BF. He is always happy with the bottle. I know breastmilk is better and I feel self centered or lazy for thinking of switching, I just think we would both be happier and do better with the switch. I am going to talk to the pedi at our 4 month appt on Tuesday but I am thinking about maybe starting to decrease my feedings and eventually end up with just me nursing in the morning and overnight.

How did everyone else decide when they were done? Any regrets after you stopped? DH is supportive of whatever I decide.

Mouseygail · August 2011

As soon as I found a formula that DS would actually drink, I quit all supplements and stopped pumping and my remaining supply was gone within a week. (this was around 9-10 months..funny that after all fo the agonizing, I'm not even sure when we stopped!). But, it was the most freeing thing I've done...it was so exciting to never have to worry about pumping, taking pills, finding a place that I was comfortable nursing him if we were out....ahh... I've had a couple of times since that I was a little nostalgic about it, but I've never once regretted it! If I had found a formula that he woudl drink sooner, I'm guessing I would have weaned much sooner and felt the same way! I think it would be the best of both worlds if you were able to just nurse in the morning and night! (and it was what I wanted to try, but my supply utterly failed)

Good luck with your decision!

hopecounts · August 2011

I was right where you are. Poor supply, supping, etc. It's sucks, w/ a lot of work I was able to keep at it and made it to 12 months!

I was able to wean off of supplementing at around 7 months after I found a combo of things (after trying everything) that increased my supply enough that w/ solids it was fine. For me it was domperidone and fenugreek and making sure I ate enough calories to get a semi-decent supply. I have to eat at least 1500 cals a day or my supply tanks. I didn't think about that early on but I don't think I was eating enough.

I would say set a date and see how you feel on that day. I used the never quit on a bad day rule and it got me through the rough early months.

That being said there is nothing wrong w/ FFing. You've given your LO the greatest benefits of breastmilk by making it this far. Be proud of what you've managed to do and then do whatever works best for your family.

JourneyToBaby · August 2011

I breast fed my little guys for 7 months. Honestly, if it weren't for my very pro-breastfeeding husband... I would have "wanted" to quit after about 2 months. I told him I WAS quitting at 6 months and he negotiated one more month. Looking back, I am so grateful that I DID go the full 7 months. It seems so long ago. Good luck with your decision. 4 months of breastfeeding is awesome!!!

ESTH2000 · August 2011

hopecounts:

I was right where you are. Poor supply, supping, etc. It's sucks, w/ a lot of work I was able to keep at it and made it to 12 months!

I was able to wean off of supplementing at around 7 months after I found a combo of things (after trying everything) that increased my supply enough that w/ solids it was fine. For me it was domperidone and fenugreek and making sure I ate enough calories to get a semi-decent supply. I have to eat at least 1500 cals a day or my supply tanks. I didn't think about that early on but I don't think I was eating enough.

I would say set a date and see how you feel on that day. I used the never quit on a bad day rule and it got me through the rough early months.

That being said there is nothing wrong w/ FFing. You've given your LO the greatest benefits of breastmilk by making it this far. Be proud of what you've managed to do and then do whatever works best for your family.

ditto this!! Especially the part of never quiting on a bad day. I gave myself mini goals and made it very far. There were so many times I thought I was ready to quit but thankfully this board and the support of my family got me through all the tough times. No matter what, you have already given your little one the gift of liquid gold!!! Good luck!

LakeGenevaBride · August 2011

I barely made it to 11 weeks (I tried reglan, fenugreek, pumping every 2 hours, etc) and agonized over quitting. I spent all my time nursing, pumping, bottle feeding, cleaning bottles, and cleaning pump pieces. I couldn't even go anywhere b/c of the crazy routine I was trying to maintain. I felt free when I stopped. I could go places, I had more time to spend with my babies, and I didn't have to wake up in the middle of the night to pump. So in my case I had no regrets stopping. I felt it was really what was best for my family. Good luck with your decision, I know it is a difficult one.

etoyama · August 2011

Whatever you decide, you are a GREAT MOM. Never forget that!

JenCW · August 2011

I posted a reply to another BFing post where I admitted going through exactly what you are facing. I agonize over sticking with it, and I'm agonizing over giving it up - and, I'm only at 3 weeks. What a great job you've done getting to 4 months.

As for your questions, I made it to 12 weeks with my boys, and I knew at that point that I was ready to be done. No regrets. This time around, I have a goal in mind, and with that, I'm trying to take it one day at a time.

Whatever you do, if it's best for you and your little guy, then it is the right decision.

ohiostategal · August 2011

Thanks for all the responses ladies. I am still trying to decide what to do. After we started having all the problems I made a goal of 3 months and then I made a goal of 4 (which I can't believe is tomorrow). I guess I will just take it day by day after that. I just need to stop with the mommy guilt, it can be really overwhelming!

Temp616379875002458 · August 2011

Ohiostate: I'm impressed that you've struggled this long. My LO is only 3.5 weeks and, while my supply is decent, my DD doesn't stay awake long enough to nurse - so I pump and bottle feed several times each day to ensure that she's eating enough. I hate it. I wish I loved nursing and I wish it weren't so hard. Every day is one more day that I'm honestly still trying BFing bc I feel so much social pressure to do it - and so much guilt about quitting. I hate the stigmas surrounding this issue.

LIAngel · August 2011

Good luck with whatever you decide. But just know that Formula is not poison so don't feel guilty for switching (if that's what you decide). I know "breast is best", but trust me my son did fine on formula. He is a happy healthy 2 yr old. My daughter is doing fine too on it.

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