Kicked in the stomach and furious!

kymberleyd22 · August 2011

This bratty 4 year old kicked me in the stomach during a fit this morning. It took everything I had in me to not snatch him up and spank his a$s! Now I'm at home(dr's orders) laying here waiting for our baby girl to move. Of course she choses to sleep during the day usually so I'm drinking juice and playing music trying to get her to move. If she doesn't I'm supposed to go in to the dr. MOVE BABY MOVE!

chankins14 · August 2011

OMG! T&P lady! Move baby, MOVE!

uncharch7 · August 2011

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

SHUVUU · August 2011

uncharch7:
I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.
I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

uncharch7 · August 2011

SHUVUU:
uncharch7:
I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.
I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.
He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

klafle3 · August 2011

uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:
I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.
I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.
He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.
Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

At age 4!?!? I'll have to disagree with you, unless of course the child has special needs or other issues.

tosh24 · August 2011

uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

ITA. DD kicked me in the stomach during a fit last weekend. I was in pain for the rest of the day and was worried bcause movements seemed decreased for the next 2 days (probably just a coincidence).

Does DD know not to kick? Yes. Is she a normal 4 yo that slips up during a tantrum? Yes. Even if something terrible had happened to LO, it's not like I could blame DD. Being "furious" at a 4 yo is a little excessive, IMO. And if you work in a school/daycare where you are put in a situation like this that could cause you or your LO harm, it's your responsiblity to remove yourself from the situation and get someone else to handle it. Four year olds are four year olds - you're the adult with foresight.

ETA: I hope baby moves for you soon to calm your fears.

uncharch7 · August 2011

klafle3:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:
I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.
I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.
He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.
Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.
At age 4!?!? I'll have to disagree with you, unless of course the child has special needs or other issues.

Agree to disagree then. I was teaching a 5 year old who was over tired and got in trouble and had an all out temper tantrum, arms and legs flailing yesterday. Normally well behaved, but he had just had it.

klafle3 · August 2011

uncharch7:
klafle3:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:
I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.
I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.
He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.
Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.
At age 4!?!? I'll have to disagree with you, unless of course the child has special needs or other issues.
Agree to disagree then. I was teaching a 5 year old who was over tired and got in trouble and had an all out temper tantrum, arms and legs flailing yesterday. Normally well behaved, but he had just had it.

Fair enough. I just haven't met that child yet, I guess. My nieces (4 and 5) have their fair share of melt-downs, but no hitting or kicking. I guess every kid is different.

tosh24 · August 2011

klafle3:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

At age 4!?!? I'll have to disagree with you, unless of course the child has special needs or other issues.

A kid having a tantrum will likely flail his/her arms or legs whether or not anyone is around. It's not necessarily to intentionally kick a specific person, but that's what will happen if you get too close. It's classic tantrum behaviour. Tantrums don't start and stop when kids are in their "terrible twos" - even normally well-behaved and polite kids (like my DD) will have tantrums now and then when the conditions are right. Yes, even four year olds.

getnmarried910 · August 2011

klafle3:
uncharch7:
klafle3:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

At age 4!?!? I'll have to disagree with you, unless of course the child has special needs or other issues.

Agree to disagree then. I was teaching a 5 year old who was over tired and got in trouble and had an all out temper tantrum, arms and legs flailing yesterday. Normally well behaved, but he had just had it.

Fair enough. I just haven't met that child yet, I guess. My nieces (4 and 5) have their fair share of melt-downs, but no hitting or kicking. I guess every kid is different.

I have an almost 4 and almost 5 year old. Neither have ever had a screaming fit or a fit where they are flailing. Their fits consist of a big sigh and dropping to the floor and just sitting there quietly pouting. I guess I thought this was normal, and the flailing about and screaming was abnormal. My 20 month old is the same way. When she throws a fit, she drops to her knees, buries her face in the floor and sits there till she realizes we aren't paying attention to her fit. Honestly, I would be furious like the OP. Yes, kids have meltdowns, but by four years old, they shouldn't consist of hitting or kicking.

Xtine22 · August 2011

When my mom was pregnant with me she was hit in the stomach by and adult (special needs). I turned out ok...well, at least i think I did.hehe. I'm sure everything is ok

WhitneyZ11 · August 2011

I'm so sorry you got kicked in the stomach, I hope that your little one moves for you! And if you do have to go to the doctor I hope you get all good news and your little one is just sleeping right now, thoughts and prayers are coming your way!

lala1608 · August 2011

Try not to worry too much...your body is designed to protect the baby from things like that, I'm sure everything is ok...but I know it can be scary.

As for the behavior debate...I have one child who would never throw a tantrum and another who makes me wonder if I should call an exorcist when he gets upset...kids are unique and they handle their emotions differently, parenting styles aren't usually a factor in how they respond.

kylayton · August 2011

Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

MissBHaven1024 · August 2011

Unlike PP's, I have never experienced a fit/tantrum before. My daughter is 5 years old and has never acted in such a way, so I'm not sure how I would handle a situation like that. I am very sorry that you got kicked, more sorry that it was a kick to your stomach. Hopefully your LO gives you the kick you are desiring to let you know things are good in there! Chug that juice and crank that music!

pennynjon · August 2011

I am sorry that happened! I hope she moves for you soon. I would be mad too.

mintyblue02 · August 2011

tosh24:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

ITA. DD kicked me in the stomach during a fit last weekend. I was in pain for the rest of the day and was worried bcause movements seemed decreased for the next 2 days (probably just a coincidence).

Does DD know not to kick? Yes. Is she a normal 4 yo that slips up during a tantrum? Yes. Even if something terrible had happened to LO, it's not like I could blame DD. Being "furious" at a 4 yo is a little excessive, IMO. And if you work in a school/daycare where you are put in a situation like this that could cause you or your LO harm, it's your responsiblity to remove yourself from the situation and get someone else to handle it. Four year olds are four year olds - you're the adult with foresight.

ETA: I hope baby moves for you soon to calm your fears.

This statement bothered me. I think being "furious" is a feeling, which we usually can't control, not an action. I think it is perfectly normal to feel furious with a child who is difficult. It is not like she acted on her emotions. Can we not have to be PC with our feelings as well as PC with everything else in life!

tosh24 · August 2011

mintyblue02:
tosh24:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

ITA. DD kicked me in the stomach during a fit last weekend. I was in pain for the rest of the day and was worried bcause movements seemed decreased for the next 2 days (probably just a coincidence).

Does DD know not to kick? Yes. Is she a normal 4 yo that slips up during a tantrum? Yes. Even if something terrible had happened to LO, it's not like I could blame DD. Being "furious" at a 4 yo is a little excessive, IMO. And if you work in a school/daycare where you are put in a situation like this that could cause you or your LO harm, it's your responsiblity to remove yourself from the situation and get someone else to handle it. Four year olds are four year olds - you're the adult with foresight.

ETA: I hope baby moves for you soon to calm your fears.

This statement bothered me. I think being "furious" is a feeling, which we usually can't control, not an action. I think it is perfectly normal to feel furious with a child who is difficult. It is not like she acted on her emotions. Can we not have to be PC with our feelings as well as PC with everything else in life!

Being "PC" has absolutely nothing to do with it. I have no idea how you came up with that?

Being furious at a child who you asked not to kick you, who then looked you in the eye and kicked your stomach with all his might, knowing there was a baby in there and it would hurt you = definitely warranted.

Being furious with a 4 yo kid who was having a normal meltdown and most likely didn't kick intentionally, even though when not in the throes of a tantrum he knows kicking isn't right = going overboard. You can be mad at the situation. Fine. Mad at the kid who was being a normal kid is misdirecting your anger.

MesmrEwe · August 2011

Chocolate and lots of it... Candy bar even... Usually that will get my LO going far more than any fruit or juice ever could... Or, try taking a relaxing tub - mine decided to splash water while I was just sitting there, then splash splash splash from LO moving around so much even though I couldn't feel him moving...

Hopefully she'll wake up soon instead of leaving you on the line...

My DD fits the category when she's overtired of the profile the PP mentioned of "wondering if you need an exorcist"... The first time she kicked at me while PG, we put a stop to it (grabbed her leg mid kick which caused her to land on her bottom), and explained no kicking any time, but especially now that I'm PG, that's her baby brother or sister she's kicking in there and they haven't done anything to her, then handed out punishment depending on the situation... She has since figured it out that there's a baby in there who doesn't like to be hit just like she doesn't want anyone hitting her.

brandnewmommy103 · August 2011

kylayton:
Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

i agree with all of this. it does have to do with parenting style imo, hitting kicking and biting should be things that arent ok. theres something wrong when a parent lets a four year old get away with that. and i hope all is well with the baby. too bad there are laws against spanking other people's kids.

chantico23 · August 2011

Sounds like some of your kids need a swift swat on the behind. Kicking at the age of 4 is unacceptable, even during a tantrum.

OP, I hope that your little one has started moving. Try to relax. I'm sure it will all be okay.

kwinkle1980 · August 2011

I taught pre-k for years and it is NOT normal for a child that age to kick an adult. I had difficult and tantrum-prone kids with me 8 hours a day and I never saw a kid kick.

It is normal, however, to be furious at whomever or whatever kicks your unborn child. I can't believe PP's are condoning this child's behavior.

kymberleyd22 · August 2011

Thanks ladies. I honestly didn't realize that my human emotion(which everyone is entitled to, being furious that is) would cause any kind of uproar. Indifferent I feel like I have every right to be furious at a child who purposely kicked me. (Note: being furious does not mean I yelled at him, I sternly told him to sit his bottom down NOW, or ever put my hands on him. Did I want to spank him, HECK YES!, but I didn't) Had there been another adult around to help diffuse the situation, I'm sure things would have had a differnet outcome. That being said, there is absolutely no reason for anyone to resort to violence when angry(child or not). I understand children being angry and throwing themselves down, I tolerate yelling to an extent, but becoming physical is UNACCEPTABLE! This situation started by the child punching, yes punching another child in the face over a toy. It then preceded to him throwing chairs and trying to throw a table(which is when he decided punching and kicking his teacher was a better alternative). When his mother was called her response was, "well he's been around Dad lately." SERIOUSLY?! I really wanted to tell her I don't give a sh!t who he's been around, kicking people is not an option and he's lucky we don't use corporal punishment here. If we did, he'd be in the office with a ruler or hand attached to his "happy" butt." Instead I went with, I understand he may see or experience certain things at home, but these are unacceptable here and if they ever get close to happening again, you'll unfortunately need to find alternate facilities for him." (My boss backs me up 100%). Still waiting for baby girl to move(she doesn't get active until about 7pm). If I don't get any love around then, we'll go in just to make sure. I'm sure everything is just fine, but it scared this heck out of me. I try really hard now that I'm pg(even more so than I did pre -pg) to keep out of potentionally "dangerous", or I guess harmful is a better word situations. I can't stand the thought of having anything happen to our take home baby. I'm sure many of you agree. If you got to the bottom of this, Thank you! Go get yourself a treat! Thanks for letting me vent. Big Smile

agunnet · August 2011

I agree...A 4 year old should know better, and hitting and kicking is not acceptable, in any situation. I have a 4 year old and that is something she would NEVER do. I also worked in a preschool for 5 years, and that kind of behavior is not tolerated, tantrum or not.. its unacceptable. I hope your lil one moves for you soon, and I would feel exactly the same way you do.

uncharch7 · August 2011

kwinkle1980:
I taught pre-k for years and it is NOT normal for a child that age to kick an adult. I had difficult and tantrum-prone kids with me 8 hours a day and I never saw a kid kick.
It is normal, however, to be furious at whomever or whatever kicks your unborn child. I can't believe PP's are condoning this child's behavior.

No one is condoning it, they're saying it happens. Kids react to things in different ways and thing certain things are OK by what they are taught at home. By no means do I think it's ok, but it happens... that's my point, which was obviously lost to some people.

stephers_7 · August 2011

a 4 yr old kicking at someone is unacceptable. I dont know about some of you, but I know my mom would have put an end to that behavior had me or my brother behaved in such a way and I know that if my son ever even tries that once, I'm going to make sure he NEVER does that again. 4 year olds are old enough to know not to kick or hit.

Be pissed if you want! I'd be pissed too! You're protecting your child from someone else's misbehaving brat. He should know better.

I do hope all is well. I'm sure it is but I know its hard not to worry.

lilwildthing · August 2011

brandnewmommy103:
kylayton:
Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

i agree with all of this. it does have to do with parenting style imo, hitting kicking and biting should be things that arent ok. theres something wrong when a parent lets a four year old get away with that. and i hope all is well with the baby. too bad there are laws against spanking other people's kids.

Trying to teach kids to not hit, kick, etc by hitting them has always been an interesting concept to me...just saying.

Mrs. Met · August 2011

tosh24:
uncharch7:
SHUVUU:
uncharch7:

I understand you're upset, but it's not like he intentionally kicked your stomach.

I hope she moves soon to put your mind at ease.

He may not have kicked her stomach intentionally but the kick was intentional and a 4 year old ought to know better. I'd be pissed.

Should they know better not to kick? Yes. But during a fit/temper tantrum, all bets are off.

ITA. DD kicked me in the stomach during a fit last weekend. I was in pain for the rest of the day and was worried bcause movements seemed decreased for the next 2 days (probably just a coincidence).

Does DD know not to kick? Yes. Is she a normal 4 yo that slips up during a tantrum? Yes. Even if something terrible had happened to LO, it's not like I could blame DD. Being "furious" at a 4 yo is a little excessive, IMO. And if you work in a school/daycare where you are put in a situation like this that could cause you or your LO harm, it's your responsiblity to remove yourself from the situation and get someone else to handle it. Four year olds are four year olds - you're the adult with foresight.

ETA: I hope baby moves for you soon to calm your fears.

But that was your kid. Whose kid kicked the original poster? I'd be furious, too, if it was because someone wasn't watching their child.

Mrs. Met · August 2011

nevermind. I read the rest. Still, it's different if a kid other than your own were to kick you in a tantrum. I think some people on here don't know how to put themselves in someone else's shoes.

JoAnna914 · August 2011

lilwildthing:
brandnewmommy103:
kylayton:
Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

i agree with all of this. it does have to do with parenting style imo, hitting kicking and biting should be things that arent ok. theres something wrong when a parent lets a four year old get away with that. and i hope all is well with the baby. too bad there are laws against spanking other people's kids.
Trying to teach kids to not hit, kick, etc by hitting them has always been an interesting concept to me...just saying.

I'm pretty sure the swat on the a$$ my dad gave me after pulling my sister's hair was pretty effective - I never did it again.

brandnewmommy103 · August 2011

lilwildthing:
brandnewmommy103:

kylayton:
Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

i agree with all of this. it does have to do with parenting style imo, hitting kicking and biting should be things that arent ok. theres something wrong when a parent lets a four year old get away with that. and i hope all is well with the baby. too bad there are laws against spanking other people's kids.

Trying to teach kids to not hit, kick, etc by hitting them has always been an interesting concept to me...just saying.

pretty obviously a joke. but the main point is you have to teach your kids right from wrong, thats whats wrong with society. parents want to be the good guy and dont like telling little johnny 'no.'

chantico23 · August 2011

RedheadBaker:
I think people are saying it's wrong to be furious with a 4-year-old because, whether they know hitting is wrong or not, they don't understand the consequences of their actions.
They don't understand that hitting a pregnant woman in the stomach could seriously injure the baby.

Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway justifies a negative response from the other party. Understanding consequences has nothing to do with it.

Why is it not okay to be furious at this child for potentially harming your own kid? What if the child was already born, and he pummeled the kid in the stomach? Would you not be furious? Being angry does not equal hitting the child, or yelling at them, or retaliating in any way. Being furious is an internal feeling that everyone is justified for having, for whatever reason.

lilwildthing · August 2011

JoAnna914:
lilwildthing:
brandnewmommy103:
kylayton:
Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

i agree with all of this. it does have to do with parenting style imo, hitting kicking and biting should be things that arent ok. theres something wrong when a parent lets a four year old get away with that. and i hope all is well with the baby. too bad there are laws against spanking other people's kids.
Trying to teach kids to not hit, kick, etc by hitting them has always been an interesting concept to me...just saying.
I'm pretty sure the swat on the a$$ my dad gave me after pulling my sister's hair was pretty effective - I never did it again.

I'm not sure how I would respond to this behavior in a four year old. We are just now having to deal with this with my two year old son. I'm pretty sure hitting him to teach him not to hit would be pretty confusing. Don't get me wrong, I have become frustrated with him, and have wanted to smack him on the butt. However, I am the adult and can control my responses. I don't think responding with violence is the best discipline method. If you do, to each their own.

lilwildthing · August 2011

brandnewmommy103:
lilwildthing:
brandnewmommy103:

kylayton:
Some of the PP upset me. It's not your fault in anyway that he kicked you. I would be furious if I was in your place. A 4 year old should know better than to kick anyone.

i agree with all of this. it does have to do with parenting style imo, hitting kicking and biting should be things that arent ok. theres something wrong when a parent lets a four year old get away with that. and i hope all is well with the baby. too bad there are laws against spanking other people's kids.

Trying to teach kids to not hit, kick, etc by hitting them has always been an interesting concept to me...just saying.

pretty obviously a joke. but the main point is you have to teach your kids right from wrong, thats whats wrong with society. parents want to be the good guy and dont like telling little johnny 'no.'

I agree with you 100%. I am a teacher and I see everyday how a lack of discipline is affecting children, and everyone else for that matter. Children who have never been disciplined or told "no" are obviously very difficult to handle in a school setting. (Especially, as it seems in this case, without any parental support.) I also agree that a four year old should absolutely have a consequence for hitting, kicking, or inflicting harm in any manner. I just don't think hitting them back would be the most effective consequence.

chantico23 · August 2011

RedheadBaker:
erindworley:
RedheadBaker:
I think people are saying it's wrong to be furious with a 4-year-old because, whether they know hitting is wrong or not, they don't understand the consequences of their actions.
They don't understand that hitting a pregnant woman in the stomach could seriously injure the baby.
Knowing something is wrong and doing it anyway justifies a negative response from the other party. Understanding consequences has nothing to do with it.
Why is it not okay to be furious at this child for potentially harming your own kid? What if the child was already born, and he pummeled the kid in the stomach? Would you not be furious? Being angry does not equal hitting the child, or yelling at them, or retaliating in any way. Being furious is an internal feeling that everyone is justified for having, for whatever reason.
There's a case (I forget what state) where a young child (under 6 years old, though I forget the exact age) held her baby sibling under the water in the bath tub to make him/her stop crying. The baby drowned.
When interviewing the child, she admitted she knew what she did was wrong. But she still doesn't understand the consequences of her actions.
Would you charge her with murder?

Of course not, but if that were my baby I she killed then I would still be furious with her. The level of emotion felt towards someone does not have anything to do with the punishment they receive.

And in the case of the story you shared, while I wouldn't charge her with murder if it were up to me, she would definitely be punished, put into therapy, and all kinds of other things to teach her to never, ever do things like that again.

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