Daycare mom's would you feel bad??

FSUSammy · November 2008

Hey ladies. DS has been in daycare since he was 3 months old. I love the daycare he's at because its at my office so I can pop down and see him whenever I want which is great. Plus the ladies are just the sweetest. No onto my question....

When he was almost 10 months old they moved him to the big kid side of the infant room where all of the crawlers go. He was barely army crawling then but seeing all of the other kids crawling and pulling himself up helped him tremendously and within weeks he was doing it all on his own too.

Well I just came back from visiting and asked his teacher when the next transition would be. This is a big transition out of the infant room and into the toddler room. The only catch is they have to walk in order to go to the toddler room, which DS is not close to doing. They told me he's not on the transition list at all which I understand because quite frankly I wouldn't want him going in a room where he's gonna get trampled by the big kids walking and running around.

My beef is that they'll transition some of the infants into the side that he's on now and most of them aren't even close to crawling. Most just started to sit on their own. They all will be 4+ months younger than him. I feel like his teachers will be forced to work extra hard to get him to walk because he will no longer have friends walking in his room. He'll see everyone on the floor and he'll want to be on the floor too. I can't help but feel bad because I don't want him to be left behind. I asked if when he does start walking if they'll move him immediately so that he can be with kids his age and they said they hope they'll have a spot for him, no guarantees of course.

Am I nuts for feeling bad that my son is possibly going to be left behind? I'm hopeful that he'll wake up one day and start walking on his own really soon, but I also know that he has been late on all of his other milestones so why not this one too!

jessicada76 · November 2008

WOW that is tough. I think I would feel the same way. Kind of like it would hender his progress. Can you explain how the crawling went - 2 weeks with other crawlers and he was crawling too and see if you can give him a 2 week trial bases in that room?! If they won't do that then I would ask at what age they will move him. If he doesn't crawl till 16-18 months will he still be an "infant"?! Big difference! Sorry!

abpdjs · November 2008

yeah kind of. i mean, it would make me feel pressure to get ds walking and that would bother me b/c it is going to happen when he is good and ready. maybe they could do a trial run like jessica suggested. have you talked to the director about your concerns?

FSUSammy · November 2008

Jessica - Thanks for the trial run suggestion, I'll definitely bring that up if we get to that point of course.

abpdjs:
have you talked to the director about your concerns?

Not yet but even his teacher recommended I talk to her since I am concerned so I will.

JulieandBen · November 2008

I've gone through this with Jack quite a few times now. He'll get left behind because his birthday is 9.21.06. He misses the school c/o so the daycares tend to hold him back. I switched daycares last time this happened. I had the luxury of being able to do that though. I wasn't working in the building where he goes to school. I didn't like knowing Jack would be the oldest kid in class at this stage. Even though he will likely be once he hits preschool and kindergarten. Who was he going to learn from? How was he going to excel?

JulieandBen · November 2008

Your son is 13m. He'll likely start walking soon. This might not be too much of an issue. Unless you aren't able to move him up once he starts walking.

Emmasmom30 · November 2008

You definitely don't want to transition him until he's comfortable walking. It's a huge step up and the bigger kids in the toddler room will trample him.

I would really talk to the director and his teacher about your concerns.

jen5-03 · November 2008

I don't see how the teachers will "work extra hard to get him to walk". There's really nothing anyone can do to make a kid walk before they are ready. My DD watched kids crawl for months and was content to watch them and not try it herself. Same thing for walking. She waited until she was ready (crawled at 11mo and walked at 14.5mo,). (And FWIW, not walking until 15mo is still considered NORMAL, not late.)

So I don't think it will harm your son in any way to have him surrounded by younger babies. The only thing I'd be worried about is if they can't promise that they'll be able to transition him soon after he does start walking. Because once he does they'll have to watch him closely to make sure he doesn't step on a smaller baby and in most daycares the infant room is a lot smaller than the walker rooms and there won't be room for him to have fun.

Someone has to be the oldest and someone has to be the youngest, I don't think it'll be a problem for him to be oldest for a little while.

divakat · November 2008

I would not push him to walk before he is ready. He may end up walking any day now, or it can take him until 18 mos. to walk. Both are within the normal range. I'd be very scared that the walking kids would trample him, too. They walk when they are ready, and there's not much you can do to push them, nor should you imo.

FSUSammy · November 2008

jen5/03:
I don't see how the teachers will "work extra hard to get him to walk".

By extra hard I mean they'd need to practice walking with him instead of just letting him try to figure it out on his own. Only because when he sees all of the other kids hanging out on the floor he's just going to want to do that too. Why be walking if you can have fun on the floor really! I practice walking with him on my own at home and when we got to PT for his torticollis his therapist practices with him too so as long as I can get his teachers to say that they will practice with him daily then I wouldn't feel as bad. I'd just hate for him to delay walking even further because of not seeing any other kids in his class doing it.

katy75 · November 2008

I would have the same feelings/issues as you have. I'm actually kind of in the same position. DD is in the bigger kids infant room and she is the oldest. I know they are going to start transitioning her soon to the toddler room when she is walking, which looks like it will be soon. At her daycare though, she will go "visit" the toddler room for an hour or two a day to help with the transition. They did the same thing when she switched from the little infant room to the big infant room. Maybe your son can have the best of both worlds and visit the toddler room like my DD will do. Can you suggest that?

121005bride · November 2008

You know, kids learn at their own pace. I wouldn't be offended if they didn't move him because it's for his safety. He will still have the same teachers which is prob more impt that a few friends that they don't even know how to interact with at this age. My opinion is everyone is forcing him to grow up before he is ready and willing to walk on his own. Seeing everyone else crawl isn't going to stop him from developing at his normal rate. Sure it sucks to be the last one but he's not going to remember this.. let him be a baby.

TheMalleys · November 2008

I don't see how it should be the teacher's responcibility to "work extra hard to teach him to walk". Kids learn at their own rate. Yes, I agree, once they start taking their first steps, seeing other kids get around by walking does help motivate them. But if your DD isn't even close to walking then being surrounded by a bunch of crawlers isn't going to do anything. Once your DS starts to walk, then you can quickly transition him to the toddler room. Or by that time maybe some of the other babies will have started to cruise or walk.

jlw2505 · November 2008

I would feel the same way which is why I'm thrilled that my daycare moves by age not development stage. The infant room has 2 sides, one for the kids that are moving more but the kids spent time on both sides once they are past the very young stage and my DD, who is 8 months this week and just starting to move, has been going to that side for a while now. They then have what is called the busy baby room from a year to 17 months. My DD will start visiting this room sometime after 9 months and move up there at a year. At 16 months, she will start visiting the toddler room and move there at 17 months. Its a great transisition schedule I think.

JenGK · November 2008

DS is one of the older babies in his infant classroom, and he refused to walk for the longest time. I would try to get him to stand and he would hold his feet in the air, parallel to the floor. There are no other walking babies in his classroom. And then, one day, he just decided it was time to start walking, and things took off from there. He's actually transitioning to the toddler room this week. I don't think being around others who are walking all the time will necessarily help encourage him to walk -- kids really do it when they feel ready.

If you are really concerned, you might see if your son can "visit" the toddlers for certain periods during the day.

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