Just can't do it anymore - a long vent.....

tnkrbl21 · August 2011

A bit of a disclaimer here - I know that having the entire summer off is a vacation that most would be very jealous of, but it is so unbelievably difficult to be home all day with the boys by myself. DH leaves for work at 730 and the boys are up at 7 religiously (which I know is late by some standards). Then I'm home until about 630 or 7 pm all by myself with them. My MIL refuses to come over unless I call here - which is just annoying. I think she just wants to hear that I need / want help. Oh and she lives right around the block.

And that's the thing, I don't "need" help; I just want some company really. I'm so lonely and tired. Dh helps so much when he's home but let's face it - it's only for about an hour or so each day that I get his help.

I've been crazy sick with this pregnancy which does not help my ability to deal with the boys and they are in full on terrible twos. I feel like I can't really take them anywhere fun without someone because they are all over the place. My friends from work take their kids to the splash park and the pool but I physically can't do that because there are two of them and one of me.

I'm just so tired of everything being about everyone else. What do I need to do around the house? What should I make for dinner? And breakfast and lunch for that matter? When should I start the laundry? I just want something for me. I honestly want a freakin day off and I just don't see that happening.

I know I'm en emotional mess - thanks hormones. But other than taking a deep breath and trying to fight my way through the day I just don't know how to do it anymore.

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

naflmj · August 2011

I hear you. I have enjoyed the extra time with DS but sometimes I can't help but many of the sentiments you have shared. It is a huge change from what we're used to and it's OK.

dundasgirl · August 2011

Hugs!

I feel a lot of pressure to make each day count and make sure the kids have a great time, learn something or have an experience of something new. I look after my two and my niece 2/3 of the time. I am thinking in the fall of signing us up for some scheduled library time, weekly playdates, etc. so I feel like I have a bit of a plan. The summer was just insane for us!

This week I was talking to my BFF and she said she has been buying "good" convenience foods. Like ready made lasagna, pizza, etc. since she is busy with a graphic design project every spare moment that she isn't tending to her 2 year old. She's burnt out so she figured that was one thing that could make her life easier for the time being.

Hopefully you will be back to your normal routine soon.

dana316 · August 2011

Being pregnant and chasing a toddler is HARD. Being pregnant and chasing TWO toddlers? I can't imagine.

Things have been super tough at my house too. We are stranded inside, because it is just too hot for me to be outside, so Caroline is pretty miserable. I sort of feel like you do...when is it MY day off?

Hang in there, Mama. This too shall pass.

CJ71903 · August 2011

I hear ya! I'm a SAHM and it's really hard and lonely at times. I don't really have any advice, because I'm struggling with this too. (((Hugs)))

brideinOC · August 2011

Would you be able to find a two day two year old program for the boys just to give you a bit of a break? I think that they're great socialization programs. Big hugs to you. It's hard, I'm home with Claire who's 2.5, and my husbands two children (11 and 14) alone, alot. Not much easier when they'e older, just different. They have different activities to drive them to, bigger clothes, more of them, they eat more. I feel your pain and we have no family nearby either.

Mouseygail · August 2011

(((HUGS)))) I hope that you find a solution that helps you out soon!! I think there were good suggestions above!

howleyshell · August 2011

dana316:
Being pregnant and chasing a toddler is HARD. Being pregnant and chasing TWO toddlers? I can't imagine.

This. times 2.

We nanny share with 2.5 yr old twin boys and I honestly can't imagine caring for them every day. They're exhausting.

Add pregnancy to that and I'd be a snappish b!tch for sure.

And... when I'm at home full time I think frequently about getting away from my kids. When I'm working I think about being with them.

You DO need a break. Big time. What about a couple of hours of "me" time this weekend? Why is that not possible?

Or schedule an evening with a girl friend. Or even alone! Going to Target by myself after the kid were in bed was oddly invigorating. Sitting and reading a book at a book store was pure bliss.

You need it. Ask for it. Make it happen.

You'll be a better Mamma for it!

etoyama · August 2011

(((HUGS))) I'm sorry.

Katietwin · August 2011

You need a Mommy's helper - stat. Yes, they cost some money. If you can't afford it, swallow your pride temporarily and let you MIL come and help. Here's the question, though: What price would you put on your sanity and emotional well-being?? There is no law that says you MUST be amazing at all times, or even ENJOY being the PRIMARY provider of care for your kids, whilst your body is undergoing serious challenges and changes. Can you get someone in even twice per week, so you can LEAVE your house, and catch a breath? It may make all the difference.

Good luck - I admire that you've even been able to do it this long.

K

JenCW · August 2011

You are absolutely due a little break. I definitely think you should find a helper that can come a few times a week for a few hours. When I was home with the triplets I needed that. I would have never made it through without help (and I wasn't pregnant at the time).

There are quite a few nanny websites (nannies4hire, etc) where you can find people just looking for part-time.

Hang in there!!! You're doing a great job!

LIAngel · August 2011

I agree with Howley. Take a couple of hours during the weekend for yourself. Doesn't have to be every weekend, maybe once or twice a month. And don't ask, tell. Say "DH, I am going out for a bit. If you need me (as in emergency, not him calling you to come back cause the boys are running rampant through the house) you can call my cell." Then take your purse and car keys and leave. Go out to lunch by yourself (or with a girlfriend), get your nails done, Just go somewhere. And don't feel like "OMG! I have to rush back home. DH can't be alone with them for more than an hour, he'd freak".

You need to do this. Also putting them in a Preschool program would be great too, but I seem to remember that you are already doing that for the fall (unless I'm mistaken). But start thinking about next summer when you are off. Letting them go to camp while you are home with the baby.

tnkrbl21 · August 2011

Thank you so much ladies for your advice and sympathy. The boys are going into a daycare program in the fall for socialization (not really preschool just yet) so I full plan on sending them there when I have "vacation" from work. DH is great and does give me some time, but lately I have just been feeling so sick that I don't want to get out of the house. I just want to sit down and watch TV - and not Yo Gabba Gabba. We were supposed to go out to dinner tonight, but damn Irene ruined that.

My dad showed up today and took them for a bike ride and to the park for a few hours and now theyre napping so it's almost like I had a day off. I feel a lot better. I know I'll make it through and I know I need to make more of an effort to make time for myself - that's definitely something I need to figure out before this next baby gets here.

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