etiquette question re: invites

manbearpig31610 · August 2011

What do you think about putting where the MTB is registered in the invites? I'm throwing a shower for my SIL and am ordering invites tomorrow. To me, it seems a bit forward to include this infor in the invites. The hostess of my shower did not put it in my invites and she said that most people asked when they called her to RSVP. I would think most people would just ask if they wanted to know. However, most of the invites I have recieved for others' showers have specifically said what stores the MTB has registered at. WDYT?

bwtsn · August 2011

Put it in the invitation.

rhubarb123 · August 2011

Every invite I get has the info and I include it in invites for those showers I host. I am not always able to "speak" to the person who calls to RSVP and playing phone tag takes up a lot of time. If they already have the info they can just leave me a message whether they are coming or not.

scarlettoctober · August 2011

I think the etiquette experts are officially divided on this subject, but in my family, if you don't include the registry info with the invite, everyone assumes there isn't one.

HopingForOne · August 2011

Since it's a shower, and a shower is partly about gifts, I think it's fine. But I wouldn't stick those registry cards in, I might just write something like "If interested, the mom-to-be registered at _________". Something that doesn't make people feel like they HAVE to buy from the registry.

Personally, I think registry info is tacky in wedding invitations, but not shower invites.

varkeyr · August 2011

It use to be considered tacky to tell people where you are registered.However times have changed and that is no longer the case.You should include it on a separate card not on the invite itself.

weddingbells2010 · August 2011

Even those of us who are sticklers for etiquitte are divided on this one. Sometimes we forget how new registering really is- most of our moms never had registries, so the issue didn't exist. As registries became the norm, technology was still not what it is today- you went a big-named department store to register, and your guests went there to shop for you. There was no online nonsense like there is today. When you RSVPd to a party, you called someone's house and spoke directly to them- or called back if they weren't home. Now with cell phones and social media, people collect RSVPs via text and facebook and hardly talk to the guests as they call to respond... makes it harder for the host to spread the word about a registry that way.

That being said... A shower (baby or bridal) is really the only acceptable time to mention gifts on an invite. If you don't like registry details directly on the invite, you can get matching business card sized inserts with registry details.

ellewoodsSC · August 2011

These days its perfectly acceptable, if not expected, to include registry information somewhere with the shower invite Most stores will actually provide you with little inserts that identify the store or provide the registry information. You can slip those into the envelope or just print the registry info directly on the invite, as its less likely to get misplaced. I usually stick the invites on the fridge and refer to it later when I'm ready to purchase a gift.

EvenAngelsFall · August 2011

HopingForOne:
y in wedding invitations, but not shower invites.

yup yup!

RoxyLynn · August 2011

You're absolutely correct - it's pushy to include it in the invitation, and anyone who wants to know (not everyone does) can very easily find out.

baby3ob · August 2011

in the case of bridal showers and baby showers, i think it's ok to put where one is registered. to me, isn't that the point of a bridal shower and baby shower? to be 'showered' with gifts? at least that is what it was in the old'n days. i'm not offended nor do i think it's tacky when i receive this in the mail, and rarely do i see it not included actually. i think its super tacky to put in a wedding invitation, but that's different.

shear22 · August 2011

Everyone has their own preferences, but for me personally I don't mind seeing it on the invitation. Although some people do think it is kind of pushy to have it right on there, so maybe just include the registry cards in the envelope.

SunnyD2011 · August 2011

It is fine! It is a shower, people are going to want to know about the registry. A shower is all about gifts. Just as long as the invitation isn't from the expecting mother!

jeffsjayme · August 2011

I've always heard that showers get the registry information...that is practically the sole purpose of a shower and the very reason that it can't be hosted by the mother or her family.

Wedding invites? NEVER! The price of admission to your wedding or ceremony is not a gift. But this isn't a wedding; it's a shower!

Trishes · August 2011

Seeing as a shower is an event to SPECIFICALLY give gifts, it's useful to put the gift source (registry) in the invitation. I've never received a shower invite where it wasn't in the invitation. I think for things like wedding invitations it's rude, because you're assuming the guests should give you a gift. But showers, it's helpful.

Trishes · August 2011

RoxyLynn:
You're absolutely correct - it's pushy to include it in the invitation, and anyone who wants to know (not everyone does) can very easily find out.

I'm curious as to why it's pushy? If it's a shower, it's for "showering" the mtb with gifts, hence, a specified gift giving event. I'd assume that people who are receiving an invitation for a shower would know that it's... a shower.

PunkyBooster · August 2011

Put it on the invite.

I would be annoyed if I received an invite with no registry info on it.

cottonlily84 · August 2011

I don't think it's tacky. Of course there are some people who think registries in general and even baby showers are tacky, as if you're begging for gifts. To me this info is helpful. IMO if I get an invite without a registry information line I assume the MTB doesn't have one. I wouldn't think to call the host to find out where she's registered since it's not on the invite. Plus lots of people opt to RSVP via email because they have something they can refer back to rather than looking for the scrap paper they wrote it on. Without registry info it's harder for me to pick what she needs or would like to match her decor and the MTB may get 4 wipes warmers.

RoxyLynn · August 2011

Trishes:

RoxyLynn:
You're absolutely correct - it's pushy to include it in the invitation, and anyone who wants to know (not everyone does) can very easily find out.

I'm curious as to why it's pushy? If it's a shower, it's for "showering" the mtb with gifts, hence, a specified gift giving event. I'd assume that people who are receiving an invitation for a shower would know that it's... a shower.

Of course guests invited to a shower know that it's a shower. And of course they know that means buying a gift. But that doesn't mean that they care about the registry, and it doesn't even mean that they can attend.

Basically, it's the by-mail equivalent of running up to someone and saying "I'd love for you to come! And here's where I want you to shop for me."

mypreciouscargos · August 2011

If the MTB is registered, put it in small type at the bottom. I wouldnt use the cards from the stores to be included with the invite.

meenda7 · August 2011

I just got an invite to my first baby shower, and I thought it was great they included the registry card. Now, I dont' have to chase down the organizers of the shower and could look up right away what they needed and make informed choices based on our financial situation. I agree with PPs. It's a shower....most people are going to assume there is a registry and it cuts down a lot of confusion to just add it. I would agree though it would be best to make it not the focus of the invite.

LEB2009 · August 2011

Depending on where the MTB is registered they give out enclosure cards that should go in the invitation.
I've also seen invitations where a sticker was placed on the inside front cover at the bottom.

NewFamily09 · August 2011

I don't think I've ever gotten a shower invitation that didn't have that info on it. I had never even considered that it could be rude until I started reading this board. I'm hosting a shower for a friend and put it on there. I think it's fine. When I made the inviations, I put it at the bottom in a font that was quite a bit smaller than the rest of the invitation.

ryry1977 · August 2011

I prefer people to just put it on the invite. Showers are for presents anyway.

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