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How to get my 2 y/o to accept Dad putting him down for bed?

erindawnerindawn member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+

Due to schedules, I've pretty much been the only person ever to put DS to bed at night.  He goes down easy for me but if dad tries, all hell breaks loose.  Now that we've got #2 on the way, we need to address this.

Has anyone else faced and overcome this?  Is it best to just do CIO or is there another option.  If I'm not in there, he just sobs on DH's lap so I don't know that we have another choice, but any tips would be great!

 

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Re: How to get my 2 y/o to accept Dad putting him down for bed?

  • Dreamsicle23Dreamsicle23 member
    Personally I would just tackle that head on.  Have DH do bedtime every single night he can until he stops fighting it.  If you "rescue" him, you send the message that his crying is valid and that it's wrong for daddy to be putting him to bed.  AT this age he should be able to understand (although probably still be upset) if you just explain, "Mommy needs to go do xyz, you need to let Daddy put you to bed."
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  • sarahns80sarahns80 member
    We dealt with this w/ DD and it is still not easy. But what I would recommend is to have daddy do some fun stuff out of ordinary with him to distract him from you not doing it and to make daddy doing it a treat. For instance have him do a puppet show with the stuffed animals, sing a fun song, read a couple extra fun books, etc. Even something like putting him on his shoulders to go to bed to change things up. Then the the important thing is to stick with daddy doing it and you not come in. Even if he has to read another book, etc to calm him down he should keep trying. The more he does it the easier it will get but it still takes my DH a lot longer than me to put DD to bed but at least he can do it sometimes.
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  • LisichkaLisichka

    imageDreamsicle23:
    Personally I would just tackle that head on.  Have DH do bedtime every single night he can until he stops fighting it.  If you "rescue" him, you send the message that his crying is valid and that it's wrong for daddy to be putting him to bed.  AT this age he should be able to understand (although probably still be upset) if you just explain, "Mommy needs to go do xyz, you need to let Daddy put you to bed."

    This is what we're doing right now. I've been putting DD to bed for quite some time now (granted, before that we went through a phase where only DH could out her down) and with #2 coming, I need her to get used to doing bedtime with DH. We started on Monday. That night sucked, she cried for a while, we did Ferber (we've done Ferber with her a couple of times before that too), she woke up 3 or 4 times during the night. Second night was slightly better, DH only went into her room once before she calmed down. Third and fourth night even better, yesterday she didn't cry once I left the room (but did call DH to go to the bathroom). She still protests and whimpers when DH picks her up to go put her to bed and I leave the room, but I'm hopeful that we'll deal with this soon.

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  • beth&anthbeth&anth
    I am in the same boat. Due to DH's schedule, I am usually the one that puts her down.  If I am not home, she does fine with him.  I haven't done it, but last night I thought about pretending to leave before her bedtime...lol!
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  • LoveEeyoreLoveEeyore member

    A trick I use with my kids for about anything they get toddler-OCD over is this:

    Make a cardboard die, or use block shaped like a die or find a huge novelty die.  On 4 sides put a picture of Daddy, on 2 sides put a pic of Mommy.  Have him roll the die every night after dinner and whichever pic lands on top is who does bedtime. 

    You could also cheat and on nights Daddy does bedtime, a 15 minute video is part of the bedtime routine- or if Daddy and DS have a special thing they do together- dancing, or Daddy wrestling, whatever- that is part of THEIR nighttime routine.

    My DD has gone through phases and we simply humored her because that was a decision we didn't mind handing over to her, but it sounds like that's not an option.  Once the baby comes he may need you more, and it may be better for the whole family to let DH hold the baby while you put him down.  This was stressful when I had the twins, but I found a way to nurse them, pass them off then see to her.

    You could also start out with Daddy does part one of bedtime and then you finish it out.  Just like the "never go to bed angry" theory, I try to always see to it that my children fall asleep feeling secure and happy, even if it is irritating and I am really ready for a break from them.  Bedtime struggles are the bane of my existence because they mean fitful sleep throughout the night for us!

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