If you have a younger sibling to a preschooler — The Bump

If you have a younger sibling to a preschooler

My 4 year old is in preschool and my other daughter turns 2 in October.  I don't think I'm sending her to preschool this fall (but maybe in Jan - they have openings and that's how we did it with my older DD).

Regardless.. when I drop off DD at preschool, my younger screams and cries.  Part of it is she sees all the kids and the fun stuff and flips out.

But then at home, whether or not my older DD is in preschool (even if she's off with my DH or whatnot), my 22 month old is constantly saying her older sister's name.  And I feel like I can't get a whole lot done because she is a little clingy.  I feel like she sort of feels "lost" without her big sister, or something... 

Anyone else have a toddler that does something similar?  In the fall I do plan on taking her to some mommy & me classes, but it kind of stresses me out because I'm trying to enjoy the mornings older sister is in preschool, like in a less-stressful kind of sense, but younger sibling has that agitation..

Re: If you have a younger sibling to a preschooler

  • I'm a little worried about this as well.  Last year DS#3 was home with the nanny when I was dropping the twins off at school.  The couple of times I did bring him with me he was fine about leaving the building but wouldn't get in the car. 

    When we were home he wouldn't say anything about his brothers really but he would say, "I go preschool!" and try to get ready with his brothers in the morning.  That part may help me this year but I guess we'll how the rest goes.


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  • DS2 typically has a hard time leaving his brother, in addition to just wanting to stay and play.  But I just pick him up, carry him to the car and bring him home, I don't let the tears drag on.  Once a week I try to make that time fun whether that's in a mommy/me class or just a 'special' trip to Starbucks on the drive home.
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  • YES!  DS1, who's 4 now but it turning 5 next week, is going to his second year of prek.  He's going to prek 4 (his b-day falls after the cut off date).  

    Anyway, DS2 (just turned 3) always has a cow when we leave his brother at school and he can't stay.  It's hard for him to understand, but I always take him somewhere special afterwards.  Usually, we'll go to Target and I let him pick out an ice cream to eat as a special treat.  Or we'll go to the park for a few before heading home for naps. 

    It's also difficult to explain to him that he has to learn to potty before he can go to school.  We have time, cause we're sending him to prek 4 next year.  If he were potty trained now, he'd be going to prek 3. 

    School starts next Monday, and so will the battle of getting DS2 to leave the classroom.  I can't wait for next year!! 

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  • I have the same worry for when my older one starts preK this fall. The two girls are attached at the hip and the younger one hasn't really had much time without her big sister, so I'm curious how it's going to go. Since school will be in the afternoon (12:30-3:30) I'm kind of hoping that DD2 will nap then and I'll have quite time but I'm sure that's wishful thinking.
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  • That seems odd.  My twins love it when we drop off Harmon b/c they know our nanny has fun activities just for them.  They really treasure that one on one time.  Today when I came home from lunch I loved how she was sitting at the table with them doing puzzle time and laughing.  

    Perhaps working with your daughter and creating a more engaging time for her might help.  Just an idea but I think that helps the kids not feel like they are not missing out.

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  • I haven't been trying to get a whole lot done while DS is at school.  He's only there 3 days/wk for 3hrs, so it's not an incredible amount of time anyway.  I just feel like I had so much one-on-one time with DS when he was tiny, and DD and I missed out on that b/c DS was in the mix already.  From my POV, this is her time with just me, so we just do fun stuff.  Whatever she's in to that day...silly dancing, coloring, painting our toes, shopping, reading books, going to the library, etc.

    Having said all that, she does want to stay when we drop him off, but the more I emphasize that it's "girl time" as we're leaving the more she's getting excited to go instead of wanting to stay and play.  It's taken about two weeks for her to start "getting it," but it's really working well for us.  The one time I did try to load the dishwasher, she was into everything and clingy, so I just gave up and did it later.  But, like I said before, my DS isn't gone that long, so I have the luxury of being able to justify it as our time.

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