Clicky Poll- Division of labour

darmca · August 2011

How much does DH(or significant other) do for LO versus you on an average day? You can explain the 'why's' in a post below if you want.
[Poll]

sparkymcgeee · August 2011

DH does most of the work during the day. He is in school right now so I'm at work. I do everything in the morning and evening. I just miss her so much I steal her from him when I get home.

kacelle · August 2011

I'm not seeing a clicky poll, but it's maybe 75% me and 25% DH? I wake up when DD wakes up to eat around 5:30. If she doesn't go back to sleep after eating, DH gets up with her so I can sleep some more (and usually falls asleep on the couch when she falls asleep on her activity mat; I can NEVER get her to do this!). DH keeps DD while I go to morning classes three days a week and during the afternoon class I have once a week. Our schedules don't work out so that we're home together too often, but when we are, I take care of all feedings (I BF) and DH does all of the diaper changes and is usually the one to give DD a bath. Obviously I do everything when DH is at class or at work.

I feel kind of uncomfortable asking DH to do any more than he does (or even as much as he does). He's a full-time student in a really demanding major, performs as a principal musician in the university's symphonic band and brass quintet, and works about 30 hours a week during the school year. He doesn't get home until 11:30 most nights and has to be up around 6. He has to find time to do homework while keeping DD for me to take classes.

darmca · August 2011

The SAHM post had me thinking about this- DH works, I am on mat leave and on weekdays his 'help' with our son is maybe holding him for 15 minutes while I clean up the kitchen or make dinner. On weekends I have started calling him up from his computer games when I am getting frustrated with DS in between feedings. He may hold him for an hour for me on the average Saturday or Sunday.

I feel uncomfortable asking him to do more than he does because he gets judge-y about SAHMs who think when DH comes home the baby is now his job, or even 50/50. He feels if one person is working and the other is staying home then the cooking, cleaning, laundry and child-care are all one person's responsibility and while they can 'ask for help' it's really their job. I also don't have the perfect relationship with DH and get frustrated occasionally Surprise (can we form a club elisbu?)

lilcoco13 · August 2011

Since I get to stay at home with DS for a year on mat leave and DH works monday-friday, I do the majority. It used to be that I did 95-100% but now that DS is getting bigger and is paying more attention to his surroundings and toys, and can control his head, DH is more comfortable and he does more. Now he takes him when he gets home from work, gives him his evening bottles and every other bath. He also takes him every saturday morning so I can sleep or go out (I opt for sleep 99% of the time).

jazzyag · August 2011

When DH is home I do the majority of Kaitlin's care and he does most of Ankaret's care. We share duties around the house. DH is a really good cook and cooks about half our meals, he sweeps and mops and does the garbage. I do laundry clean the bathroom, vacuum and do the recycling.

megi84 · August 2011

darmca:
The SAHM post had me thinking about this- DH works, I am on mat leave and on weekdays his 'help' with our son is maybe holding him for 15 minutes while I clean up the kitchen or make dinner. On weekends I have started calling him up from his computer games when I am getting frustrated with DS in between feedings. He may hold him for an hour for me on the average Saturday or Sunday.
I feel uncomfortable asking him to do more than he does because he gets judge-y about SAHMs who think when DH comes home the baby is now his job, or even 50/50. He feels if one person is working and the other is staying home then the cooking, cleaning, laundry and child-care are all one person's responsibility and while they can 'ask for help' it's really their job. I also don't have the perfect relationship with DH and get frustrated occasionally (can we form a club elisbu?)

Sounds like we're in the same boat when it comes to DH's. Mine has never been outright judge-y, but I think I just feel like he would be. He has a full time job and is going to school part-time. I'm on maternity leave for about 1-1/2 more weeks and then I'm back to work full time. We'll see how everything changes then...

EJensify · August 2011

DH is gone most of the time at work, so I do 90% of everything around here. He wakes up our big kids in the mornings, but I lay out their clothes and get up shortly after to do the girls' hair and to sometimes make breakfast. After that, he is off to work, I care for LO all day, big kids come home and I help with homework, drive to Girl Scouts/Tae Kwon Do/Piano Lessons, make dinner, supervise showers and teeth brushing, lay out tomorrow's clothes, and put them to bed.

...DH gets home about 3 hours after they are asleep. He has Wednesday off and Sunday off and spends those days with them, but I still do the majority of the work. Occasionally he'll change a diaper, and he'll walk the baby around the house in the mornings if I can squeeze in time to shower.

He puts a roof over our head and food on our table...I take care of everything else.

Temp38995750004016 · August 2011

I do all the childcare M-F, DH leaves at 6 am and gets home after 6 pm. But when he gets home, he does most of it, since he only gets to spend an hour or two with her. On weekends he does more than 50% of it, too.

I sometimes feel bad. He gets up super early and has to spend all day at his job, it would be nice for him to have a break when he gets home. But I need a little break too after taking care of LO all day. What we do works for us, but I sometimes wish we had a nanny for an hour every single evening!

h2ojock13 · August 2011

I voted SS

I work full time and I'm gone about 10-11 hours a day Monday - Friday. DH gets to stay at home with LO and he works Sat - Mon (Monday we have a sitter) So, on a technicality during the times DH is at home with LO and i'm working I would say he takes on about 70% of the workload. Sat and Sun I'm pretty much all alone and take care of LO 99% DH may hold him so I can pee by myself when he gets home but everything else I take care of. Mondays the sitter gets him during the day but when I get home from work at 5 LO is mine 99% of the time. Not by choice, but apparently DH's working 3 days a week is more "draining" then my job. Whatevs

Angel0423 · August 2011

I work long hours (830-7 yesterday), he stays home with baby. Shes goes to bed at 8, so... yeah he does it all! I get the night shift since I'm nursing anyhow

Lisa102304 · August 2011

With the baby, I do the majority. With pumping and BFing, he can't help much there. But he does the a lot with our older daughter right now. We both work full time, and overall I think I do more with the kids ... But as far as household and general "life" duties, it is pretty darn 50/50. I have zero complaints.

Want a personalized experience?

Clicky Poll- Division of labour

Re: Clicky Poll- Division of labour

Choose Another Board

Search Boards