What crazy advice have you received about how to get pregnant?

jennykg1477 · August 2011

I was thinking about this today because our admin at work bought me some prayer cards and "Blessed Mother's Milk" to help me get pregnant yesterday. The Blessed Mother's Milk is a white powder supposedly from Jerusalem and you mix it with a little bit of water and say an Our Father and 10 Hail Marys. She didn't tell me what you do after that, but I assume you drink it. I don't drink anything if I don't know where it came from and what it really is so I will not be using it. This made me think of other crazy things I have been told about how to get pregnant. My SIL is from the Czech Republic and she told me that I should touch a tiger and drink raspberry tea. In Prague they also have a fertility statue carving thing that you touch and it helps you get pregnant. When we were there for the wedding last year I touched it and nothing happened. I just think it is hilarious to hear the things people come up with!

I hope you guys don't mind if I still post here every now and then even though we are putting our main hopes on adoption now. I just can't stay away!!

choirgirl · August 2011

Well, I just get the normal, Just relax, Stop trying, Go on vacation, crap.

But the one I will never forget was, gosh, when was it, probably about a year before I got pg with DS, and a woman on the Nest on a T-TTC board (before there was a separate Bump) told everyone they clearly just hadn't opened up their uteruses to Jesus. Then someone made an image of a uterus with a sacred heart of Jesus superimposed over it. Sacrilegious, yes. But the original thought? Perhaps meant with good intentions, but delivered so, so poorly.

MaybeMore · August 2011

Heh. I wonder if she was a Quiverfull freak. Don't you know that the number of children you can have shows how much God loves you? Good people get more babies. It's like the fringe Pentecostal-ish health-and-wealth cults, but with babies.

I've all but been told by a couple of Quiverfull people that if I would only "get right with God," I can have all the babies I want.

My reply is that children who die from leukemia but be really evil, since He doesn't give them a chance to reproduce at all. *rolls eyes*

If I were meaner, I'd wish them all a uterine rupture.

lillinzlou · August 2011

That is some crazy advice! I haven't heard anything like that. But my cousin, who got pregnant after one month, said, "Have you tried putting a pillow under your butt afterwards? That's what I did and it worked!" Really? Thanks, that's TTC 101.

Oh, I remember another one. I was ovulating during my other cousin's wedding recently. ALL of my family knew it because I told DH that he couldn't get too drunk because we HAD to do it that night. He couldn't help telling a few of my family members why he wasn't being a party animal and it spread through the whole wedding. As we were leaving, the wife of our estranged uncle said, "I saw you and Jim dancing and having fun. I just know that because of the booze and good time you'll get pregnant. Go make a baby!" Needless to say, our sexy time was not very sexy. I blame it on our whole family talking about it all night. Not really advice, but a funny story nontheless.

On another note, you know that you always have a home here! We are all rooting for you. Just because you might have a slightly different journey, the end result will be the same. I hope you can't stay away in the future!

JMay · August 2011

Please continue to post here even through the adoption process - it's so nice to support each other through all phases of this process!

I get the regular "relax" and "pray". My Mother touched a relic for me - the bone of a saint who is supposed to help women bear children... I told her "great, when is my sibling due?" I know the intentions are good, but after a while I get resentful. There are a few keys to getting pregnant, and I'm pretty sure touching old bones isn't one of them (um, not counting the anatomy of our old hubbies! LOL)

Oh, my MIL gave me a piece of apple from church and told me to sleep with it under my pillow (3 nights?) then eat it... of course, she says "it won't work if you don't believe it will work"... I guess that's the reason I'm still not pregnant... oh, and one of the reasons I'm having problems now is because I didn't wear socks after I had my DD - apparently cold feet kill fertility. Who knew!?!

The one I never really understand is "just give up, then it will happen". So, I'm supposed to go through all the depression, pain, testing, and more crushing pain, then through the journey of healing, relapse, denial and eventual acceptance that I will never have another child, only to find out that I am pregnant? How cruel is that?

JMay · August 2011

choirgirl:

Well, I just get the normal, Just relax, Stop trying, Go on vacation, crap.

But the one I will never forget was, gosh, when was it, probably about a year before I got pg with DS, and a woman on the Nest on a T-TTC board (before there was a separate Bump) told everyone they clearly just hadn't opened up their uteruses to Jesus. Then someone made an image of a uterus with a sacred heart of Jesus superimposed over it. Sacrilegious, yes. But the original thought? Perhaps meant with good intentions, but delivered so, so poorly.

Wow. WOW.

jennykg1477 · August 2011

These stories just crack me up! I have found that odd things come from people I would have never expected to have such superstitious ideas.

ChoirGirl, What?!?!! I have to second Jenna's wow.

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