Baby Wise / The Baby Whisperer stressful for anyone else?

whyteoleander · August 2011

I'm a first time mom, and my son is 15 weeks old. Ever since he started coming out of the incessant sleep-eat-sleep-eat routine that all newborns go through, he's been on a wake/play/eat/sleep cycle. He wakes up and is not hungry, but is interested in the world around him... then he gets hungry, and then he falls asleep at the bottle or while nursing and while being rocked.

When he was about 2 months old, I started reading "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" and was appalled to discover I'd been doing it all "wrong" - and my baby was "supposed" to be on a wake/eat/play/sleep routine. Same for "Baby Wise." And I even tried to implement it, because Baby Wise basically tells me that I'm setting my child up to have terrible sleep habits for the rest of his life, that he will never sleep through the night, not to mention this cycle is apparently the reason my baby doesn't nap very well some days. But I just can't do it! Hunter does NOT want to eat when he wakes up, and he does NOT want to go to sleep without a bottle or breast.

At the end of the day, I know my baby is fine.. he's healthy, very happy, growing well, etc, so I know I am being slightly dramatic about this whole thing. But some times I can't help it, I read this stuff that my baby "should" be doing - and "should" have been doing from day one! - and I stress.

Anyone else? Get stressed out by these reads or find that they can't implement the suggested routine?

desdemona39 · August 2011

I started reading baby whisperer, but DD won't adhere to that routine. And when the book said that DD should be sleeping on her own by now so I can have my space away from her, that flew in the face of what feels natural and right to me. We cosleep, I feel that she is safer by my side, and I see nothing wrong with her finding comfort at my breast and falling asleep that way.

When she has better self-soothing skills, I may try to start putting her down in her crib to sleep, but I'm in no rush right now. She will learn to sleep on her own, and she's only this small for such a short period of time anyway.

vanfox · August 2011

I have no problem with routines, but I DO have problem with anyone saying that not going eat-play-sleep is somehow ruining their kids for life. It really makes zero sense if you think about it for awhile. Obviously, I have some issues with Babywise (fewer with the Baby Whisperer, who at least just seems to be making suggestions, not insisting her way is the only way). If your LO is happiest going play-eat-sleep and it's not bothering you, definitely stick with it.

Bexxy10 · August 2011

I gave up with that book. My daughter now screams if there isn't a bottle waiting for her the minute her eyes open. I'd much rather her go to sleep eating than wake up and get so upset because she excepts food immediately. Also the whole trying to sooth your child and the sleeping section never worked of us. Not once did my daughter work well with the things that I was told to do. And I fought to try and make it work for well over a week before deciding that I no longer was going to continue. I am now even more of a believer that you know what?s best for your child and what schedule will work for them. And trying to fit every child into the same box that they?ll all have the same behavior and react the same way, yeah not gonna happen, at least not with my DD. She has her own agenda.

wifeofadam · August 2011

I threw out all of the books sometime after I had #2. Trust your mothering instincts and you'll never go wrong. No one needs to tell you what your baby needs - only you know that for sure!

TheMrs923 · August 2011

+adamwife+:

I threw out all of the books sometime after I had #2. Trust your mothering instincts and you'll never go wrong. No one needs to tell you what your baby needs - only you know that for sure!

I've yet to follow a book. If I have a question, I Google it or ask someone. But I figure babies change so much and grow so quickly, how could you possibly expect anything to really stick for very long. I just do what comes natural and so far, we're doing OK.

RunningGal900 · August 2011

I'm reading baby whisperer solves all your problems right now and basically I am a failure. I let DS nurse to sleep, I feed him when he wakes up at night and I hold him for naps sometimes, her whole attitude annoys me. I can see the logic behind EASY, but apparently I am an "accidental parent". I'm reading it bc her pick up/put down method intrigues me, so we will see what happens when he is a little older and we try that. I know some people swear by her, but I don't think it is for me. My pedi agrees that DS is thriving with what we are doing now and has no issues with how DS sleeps, that I nurse to sleep and that I feed him in the middle of the night. At 6 months we will reevaluate.

RunningGal900 · August 2011

melpatbat:
Do what feels right to you. There is no way my son will have any of that. Read Dr.Sears and you will feel way better about yourself, your LO and your parenting skills and we are all way happier over here than we would be on a schedule.

I agree. I like Dr Sears.

drpayne · August 2011

I think there is such a thing as reading too much. I'm driving myself nuts (mostly when it comes to naps/sleep).

tconwilson · August 2011

Relax, mom! You are doing fantastic, not a failure. If your baby is happy with her routine, then that is fine.

Books can cause stress sometimes...so just look at your baby smile and giggle and remember that you are responsible for how happy they are, not some book!

Bexxy10 · August 2011

drpayne:
I think there is such a thing as reading too much. I'm driving myself nuts (mostly when it comes to naps/sleep).

You are not alone!

kathrnn · August 2011

TheMrs923:
+adamwife+:

I threw out all of the books sometime after I had #2. Trust your mothering instincts and you'll never go wrong. No one needs to tell you what your baby needs - only you know that for sure!

I've yet to follow a book. If I have a question, I Google it or ask someone. But I figure babies change so much and grow so quickly, how could you possibly expect anything to really stick for very long. I just do what comes natural and so far, we're doing OK.

Both of these! Stick to your gut, and don't follow something you are not completely comfortable doing. If you like reading, I would check out something by Dr. Sears or the Happiest Baby on the Block.

That said, someone suggest Baby Wise to me, but when I looked it up on Amazon I ran across a horrible review by the panel from the hospital where I had my daughter.

changingnames · August 2011

Ahh mama I'm sorry the book freaked u out. Your lo is FINE! Those methods work for some but they are not the ONLY methods that work. I nursed to sleep both of my boys and I defy u to find two better sleepers. My preschooler slept in our bed till 10 months, the first night in his crib he slept 10 hours and has slept 12 hours ever since. I put him to bed totally awake and I would say maybe 2x a month I need to go in at night to comfort him from a nightmare. He has a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon and napped great as a baby. My 5 m old sleeps 9-12 hrs at night in a bassinet in my room. He started that at two mo and I nurse him to sleep every night. It's what works for us and if it works for u then do it without guilt. We used the Elizabeth pantley no cry sleep solution when we needed suggestions. My preschooler went thru a brief tough time around 8 months.u r doing fine.

mcginnie86 · August 2011

BabyWise is a load. Dr. Sears is the man.

cwhitloc · August 2011

Baby wise seems extreme to me. Given that all babies develop differently, i would think i could work for some and not for others. Best advice i read was to log your babies sleep habits for a week. Check the pattern, and try to put the baby down for naps / bedtime 30 min before they usually get tired/cranky. Helps them sleep better.

Owenbycm · August 2011

I have given up on books and other's advice. Both of these stress me out. Everyone has an opinion. I hold my daughter for naps during the day and let her fuss until she falls asleep at night (this takes about 10 minutes). This is what works for us. My husband has made me stop saying the word "suppose". My LO is meeting every milestone early except for sleeping. We still get up about 6 times a night to put her pacifier back in. She lets us know what works for her.

chary412 · August 2011

So stressful! After a week of trying to follow the EASY schedule, I've decided I'd rather go back to enjoying my baby during the day and risking a bad night. Not worth it for us!

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