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Possible future change to SAHM (or much reduced work)

NicoleWINicoleWI member
in Stay at Home Moms

I saw on my very quick scroll through part of the "do your husbands work tons of hours so you can stay home" post that many people's husbands own their own business. My DH co-owns a grain farming business with his brother. Between his super long and irregular hours and my FT work, I feel overwhelmed and we're both stretched thin. I'm tired of everything at home being a mess, not having time to run errands or go to the grocery store, finishing dinner w/ kids at 8 pm, never being able to do things like upload and organize photos, etc. If we try to do anything fun on weekends it seems like we're behind on laundry (even though the nanny does some for us) and eat sandwiches and frozen pizza all week. We're considering making a change in the new year, which could be to a different job w/ fewer hours for me or possibly me SAH for awhile and seeing how it goes.

Thoughts/tips from those who've made this transition? Will it help??? I don't see how it wouldn't help us to have more time flexibility on my end, and more time to spend w/ the kids and get things done during the day, but maybe I'm wrong.

We'd be okay on DH's salary but would be giving up a lot of security from my salary and benefits (I carry the benefits), but I don't see how I would be happy to continue with what we've been doing.

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Re: Possible future change to SAHM (or much reduced work)

  • jellybelly03jellybelly03 member

    Geeze, you're in a really similar situation to the one I was in a few months ago!  The only real difference is that DH carries the benefits and has a very regular income.  We both work full time:  he's an academic scientist and I'm a lawyer, so actually both of us have jobs that require more than "full time" hours to really do them well.  And we both feel totally stretched thin.  I completely commiserate with your description of life.  So I just gave my notice last week.  My last day is coming up and I could not be more excited.  I will be starting to work from home (as a lawyer still, just doing contract work for the state), with the idea of working one full day (we have childcare lined up for that one day).  Realistically, I will probably have to work a little bit more than that, but the point is that my new schedule will be very VERY flexible and my hour-each-way commute will be gone gone gone.  So, like you, I can't see how it couldn't help! 

    I guess I actually don't have an answer to your question, since I haven't done it yet.  But I'm hoping it will help :)  Talk to me again in a month!

    Good luck!

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  • CarolinaGirl051708CarolinaGirl051708
    My DH doesn't own his own business, nor does he work ridiculously long hours (about 45-50 hours/week). However, since I started SAH (2 months full-time. I worked part-time since Dec), it has been such a huge weight off of my shoulders. It's hard to be a full-time, working mother AND take care of the household. Now that I SAH, I can clean and do laundry while DD naps everyday. I do all of DH's ironing now (that he used to do himself on the weekends). I cook almost every night (we get pizza once/week and go out 1-2 times/month). I pack his lunches everyday. And I still get tons of quality time with DD. We go to the park, the pool, the children's museum. I do grocery shopping in the mornings during the week (which is SO much better than weekend afternoons like I was doing). It has been such a nice change for us, and I'm so much  more relaxed. Dh and I get more quality time in the evenings since I don't feel like I need to get in bed early. DD still gets up early, but I get up when she gets up (I used to wake up an hour or more before to get ready for work).  I carried my own benefits (health, dental, vision, and life insurance), so DH had to pick up the extra premiums to cover me (and get an additional life insurance policy). Money has definitely been tighter, but I now coupon, meal plan, shop sales/used clothes/online deal websites. We find free things to do. Good luck with your decision!!!
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  • MaddiesMamma09MaddiesMamma09

    My DH runs his own business (plumbing). His hours are reasonable, but sometimes he gets random calls on nights and weekends. I love SAH, but I will tell you the benefits issue is a PITA when your husband is self-employed. I don't know if you are actually from WI, based on your SN, but that's where I live, and it's pretty much impossible to get decent individual insurance here. We managed to find a policy that is acceptable in almost every way, except it doesn't cover maternity, so if we decide we want another kid the only options are for me to go back to work full time, pay OOP, or cross our fingers and hope the new health care law goes through without issues in a couple years and we can buy better insurance on the new exchange system.

    Good luck!

     

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