Is PPD an excuse?

nndidiamaka · August 2011

I'm going to have to post and run, but I couldn't go without posting this.

https://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_BABY_FALLS_FROM_BUILDING?SITE=IADES&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

The father is saying that she shouldn't be responsible because she had PPD. So my question: is PPD an excuse for harming (and eventually killing) your child?

Discuss.

ashnoelle · August 2011

excuse is not the right word. But it is a valid mental illness

delg23 · August 2011

In my opinion....no. But I didn't have PPD so maybe I don't have a right to judge?

silverflowers · August 2011

I have no experience with PPD, but imho I feel that if either the dad or mom knew she had PPD, it would be both their responsibility to get her help! If it were that serious, who would knowingly leave their child with someone who could cause them harm or death?

ashnoelle · August 2011

silverflowers:
I have no experience with PPD, but imho I feel that if either the dad or mom knew she had PPD, it would be both their responsibility to get her help! If it were that serious, who would knowingly leave their child with someone who could cause them harm or death?

that was one of my first thoughts. There's no way to know the details from that link though.

ntyravgmom · August 2011

excuse is not the right word. But it is a valid mental illness

ITA! Reading the father's statements, I think he should be responsible in this case, also. If she was that ill that PPD should even be considered in this case, she shouldn't have been left alone with the baby. However, being that it had been 7 months, I'm wondering how she functioned around the pedi and her ob. The torticollis and flat-head were super minor and with therapy the baby would've been fine in 6 months. It seems that she was already showing signs of threat, though. She needs equal amounts of help and punishment.

FrickandFrack · August 2011

I didn't finish the story because it was too depressing but did they try to get help for her PPD? If not, then I don't think they should try to use that as a reason. I understand that many people have PPD but most try to get treatment for it. This is so sad.

jastl32 · August 2011

I may get flamed for this, but I read this yesterday and it made me absolutely sick.

As a parent in general this made me sick, but even more so I think because my daughter had torticollis and plagio.

mrsdeanna · August 2011

ashnoelle:

silverflowers:
I have no experience with PPD, but imho I feel that if either the dad or mom knew she had PPD, it would be both their responsibility to get her help! If it were that serious, who would knowingly leave their child with someone who could cause them harm or death?

that was one of my first thoughts. There's no way to know the details from that link though.

The husband was home when the wife scooped up the son and took off with him in the car. He then called the cops because she wasnt supposed to be left alone with him. I am at this hospital all the time where she did this horrible thing.

SailorGray · August 2011

I didn't read the article linked on here, but I did read others. Wasn't she on medicine for PPD?

Such a heartbreaking story.

mrsdeanna · August 2011

SailorGray:

I didn't read the article linked on here, but I did read others. Wasn't she on medicine for PPD?

Such a heartbreaking story.

Medicine and hospitalized back in June for PPD.

Ardmhs83 · August 2011

I have been dealing with PPD/PPA and I am on meds for it. I have never once wanted to harm myself or my child! EVER! I am sure their are different degrees of PPD/PPA. This is no excuse though! If you know you aren't feeling right...call your doctor ASAP! If you are the DH...call the doctor for your DW! And don't leave your child alone w/ the baby! This is soooo sad. Sad

nealbl · August 2011

silverflowers:
I have no experience with PPD, but imho I feel that if either the dad or mom knew she had PPD, it would be both their responsibility to get her help! If it were that serious, who would knowingly leave their child with someone who could cause them harm or death?

This exactly. I told my DH when I was preg. If I ever showed any kind of signs at all of PPD or if he ever had any feeling at all that I was not ok then I fully expected him to take charge. To take LO to family members house and make me get help. I fully believe it is a mental illness and a bad one. I didn't have it so I can't imagine what those women go through. I know a lot think they are ok, and after something bad happens you will have the husband and friends come out and say they knew the mom was depressed or was not right but nobody did anything. I told DH it was his job to pretoect me and LO and if that meant taking LO away from me b/c I was suffering from really bad PPD then that is what he would have to do.

llc730 · August 2011

IMO this is the same as holding someone who commits suicide responsible for their own death. I don't think the father is trying to excuse what his wife did. He is just saying that he understands that her illness is what caused her do this and not some rational desire to hurt her child.

This is a horrible tragedy and my only wish was that someone had been able to help this family before it got this far.

nealbl · August 2011

nealbl:

silverflowers:
I have no experience with PPD, but imho I feel that if either the dad or mom knew she had PPD, it would be both their responsibility to get her help! If it were that serious, who would knowingly leave their child with someone who could cause them harm or death?

This exactly. I told my DH when I was preg. If I ever showed any kind of signs at all of PPD or if he ever had any feeling at all that I was not ok then I fully expected him to take charge. To take LO to family members house and make me get help. I fully believe it is a mental illness and a bad one. I didn't have it so I can't imagine what those women go through. I know a lot think they are ok, and after something bad happens you will have the husband and friends come out and say they knew the mom was depressed or was not right but nobody did anything. I told DH it was his job to pretoect me and LO and if that meant taking LO away from me b/c I was suffering from really bad PPD then that is what he would have to do.

Just re-read my post and it sounds like I think all PPD is really awful. I know not all women who have PPD go off the deep end and some just need counseling or medicine and it gets better. Sorry if I offended anyone.

numeria11 · August 2011

If you read the entire article it clearly says she was seeking treatment. To paraphrase: She had been hospitalized in June, had been on meds since and had been to see a therapist for the first time this past Monday. Clearly they were trying to get her help so to say she should be prosecuted for what was clearly a mental illness is crazy in my opinion. Further she snatched up the son while the dad was busy with their two daughters and he called the police so clearly he realized she shouldnt be alone with him and to prosecute him for her killing their child would be absurd.

Yeah she needs treatment but the reality is she most likely had postpartum psychosis which is not the same as PPD to compare the two is apples to oranges. Just because they both have the same trigger (childbirth) doesnt make them the same and to say well I've had PPD and it's never made me want to kill my kids isn't really judging this correctly. That's the thing that kinda pisses me off with this article, the author makes it sound like PPD = wanting to kill your kids. That is not a symptom of PPD but it IS a symptom of postpartum psychsis.

I'm not saying I dont think what she did was horrible or that I can begin to understand why she did what she did. I would hope that when she is in her right mind again she will realize what she did and ultimatly she will have to live with the horror of what she did everyday for the rest of her life, but to prosecute her the same way you would a healthy and sane person is stupid.

shibby00 · August 2011

numeria11:
If you read the entire article it clearly says she was seeking treatment. To paraphrase: She had been hospitalized in June, had been on meds since and had been to see a therapist for the first time this past Monday. Clearly they were trying to get her help so to say she should be prosecuted for what was clearly a mental illness is crazy in my opinion. Further she snatched up the son while the dad was busy with their two daughters and he called the police so clearly he realized she shouldnt be alone with him and to prosecute him for her killing their child would be absurd.

Yeah she needs treatment but the reality is she most likely had postpartum psychosis which is not the same as PPD to compare the two is apples to oranges. Just because they both have the same trigger (childbirth) doesnt make them the same and to say well I've had PPD and it's never made me want to kill my kids isn't really judging this correctly. That's the thing that kinda pisses me off with this article, the author makes it sound like PPD = wanting to kill your kids. That is not a symptom of PPD but it IS a symptom of postpartum psychsis.

I'm not saying I dont think what she did was horrible or that I can begin to understand why she did what she did. I would hope that when she is in her right mind again she will realize what she did and ultimatly she will have to live with the horror of what she did everyday for the rest of her life, but to prosecute her the same way you would a healthy and sane person is stupid.

This exactly. I suffered from PPD and there is a huge difference between PPD and post partum psychosis. I am just very, very sad for everyone involved in this situation. I think people need to be very careful to judge in this situation.

ANJ410 · August 2011

ashnoelle:
excuse is not the right word. But it is a valid mental illness

I agree.

I had really bad PPD after having my son. On top of feeling like I wanted to cry every single minute of the day, he was colic and he literally cried all day long. I used to have awful thoughts like throwing him down the flight of stairs to the tile floor below and then saying that I tripped and fell while holding him. I knew I would never ever actually hurt him, but I can easily see how some women have PPD so bad they lose control, especially if they think they can handle it on their own and don't get enough help.

I was lucky that my PPD went away when it was discovered that I developed post partum thyroid disease (which causes a hormonal imbalance that triggers depression). I started thyroid medication and have been fine ever since. I didn't have PPD at all after having DD.

ToastieSimons · August 2011

I agree that it is a valid mental illness. Part of me wonders why she was alone with the child if her mental status was the unstable. It also sounds like she wasn't seeking extreme treatment or medication.

If that is the case shouldn't the father and other caretakers be held just as responsible?

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