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Ideas on how to make Kindy transition easier?
So DD1 seems to be going back and forth between loving Kindergarten and totally a mess. I love her teacher and I know she's fine once they get going for the day, but she's a crier (like her mom) and she's overwhelmed and exhausted. Monday was a little rough - burst into tears twice, but calmed down quickly. Tuesday and Wednesday were awesome. No tears even when the teacher moved her seat unexpectedly Tuesday morning (for good reason) and Wednesday I dropped her off at her table and walked out with no problems. Today, she walked in perfectly, went straight to her tabled in the cafe (where they wait for their teachers in the morning), sat down with her friend from her class who she says she wants to have over for a playdate and sleepover...and started tearing up. When i hugged her goodbye, she burst into sobs and just sat at her table with the tears streaming down waiting for her teacher. I tried to calm her down chatting with her about her day and what we were going to do tonight and all that, but it was making it worse and DS and DD2 were all the way at the other end of the table bc there's no room for the buggy between the tables. So I hugged and kissed her goodbye and just watched from the side while she cried. The teacher came in shortly after and saw her. She got DD1 and held her hand at the beginning of the line while walking the class to the room. Any ideas on how to make the transition easier?
DD1 has been in MDO/preschool since 15 months and never used to have trouble with me leaving. She had a rough year last year and I didn't love her preschool teacher and I'm worried that's part of what hurt her self confidence. But what do I do? A family photo in her backpack? A tiny stuffed animal? I can do notes in her lunch box but it's mostly the mornings that seem the worst. Is it really just a it takes time thing? FWIW - she always comes out of school smiling and all excited about her day and what they're going to do the next day. Any ideas I'm not thinking of?
DD1 has been in MDO/preschool since 15 months and never used to have trouble with me leaving. She had a rough year last year and I didn't love her preschool teacher and I'm worried that's part of what hurt her self confidence. But what do I do? A family photo in her backpack? A tiny stuffed animal? I can do notes in her lunch box but it's mostly the mornings that seem the worst. Is it really just a it takes time thing? FWIW - she always comes out of school smiling and all excited about her day and what they're going to do the next day. Any ideas I'm not thinking of?
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Re: Ideas on how to make Kindy transition easier?
Do you have to walk her in each morning? I just drop Ethan off in the drop off line. It seems like an easier transition for him. I walked him in the first day, but stayed only long enough to get his pick-up sign for my car and help him find his cubby. Everyone else was standing around with their kids and waiting until class started.
IDK--I don't know if it's Ethan or the way we drop off that makes it easier. I know my nephew is crying every day and my sister walks him in each morning and wants to talk it out with him instead of just doing it "bandaid" style
I'm not saying I'm right at all here. It could just be personality. I'd ask her to tell you what you can do to help her feel more comfortable being left.
There are over 400 kids in the cafeteria and she's just started knowing today which table she was supposed to sit at. I told her that I couldn't walk her in next week, but it is really confusing and overwhelming with so many kids in there. Except Monday, I've walked her in, found her table with her, said good bye and left. Maybe I need to start getting there a little later. She does fine once she gets to her classroom and gets going. Or sending her with some breakfast or a snack to eat while she waits? She was even sitting next to her new best friend friend this morning so I was sure she'd be fine.
Her preschool teacher last year was very abrasive and yelled at the kids a lot. DD1 is a people pleaser. She's so nervous and scared that she's going to do something wrong. The first day she burst into tears when her teacher told her to leave her towel in her locker and not put it in her backpack like she was doing. The teacher thought it was that she wanted to bring the towel home but it was really that she was upset she'd done something "wrong". I don't know if that's coming with age or a result of the teacher last year or a combination.
EK is having a similar situation with her daughter, who has a similar personality. Hopefully she'll get on later and see this.
Can she tell you why she's crying?
My guess is she's just a little overwhelmed. DD2 was like that. I talked to her teacher and she suggested coming in a quieter door and coming a little earlier when things weren't quite so chaotic.
DD2 also liked having a small piece of my (cheap) jewelry with her.
R is having a really hard time, too. Not with school itself, but the after school. She is at the after school program for two hours, and she cries about it every day. She said she's cried there just a little bit and the last two nights, she's come out of bed about a half an hour after she went in there just sobbing.
She says she's bored, but I know it's really just the fact that it's a long day and when school is over, she just wants me there to get her. She doesn't have any friends yet, so she doesn't have much to look forward to, and to be honest, it does look really boring. The teachers are much older (60's, I think) and I can tell that they want them to sit quietly and read or color/write, which for a 5 year old to do that for two hours after a whole day of school is maybe asking a lot, but what can I do?
I tried to give her things to do and look forward to while she's there by asking her to draw me a picture so I can hang it in my office. She drew me a picture of her with a sad face.
Oh, I could cry talking about it. It is really hard.
It will get better. I am just telling myself that. There is nothing else I can do.
Our girls sound very similar. R is the same, gets upset if she thinks she's done something wrong. I mean, even today she was talking about not liking the after school, and I told her she needs to try to think about the things that she does like. She cried at that because she thought I was getting after her. It is like walking on egg shells when she talks about it; you don't want to say the wrong thing. I don't even know WHAT to say.
She does awesome at drop off in the morning, and is very excited to go to school, but I take her right to her classroom. It's just the after school. Maybe it is the amount of kids and the fact that there are a lot of older kids there? That would sort of be a similar situation that your dd has in the cafeteria in the morning.
I talked to my mom, who's been a teacher for 40+ years. She recommended a "magic" or "worry" bracelet or necklace. Something she can look at and feel to remind her to be brave and that mommy comes back and of all the exciting things she's doing that day. At breakfast, we'll go over her schedule for the day - what she has when so there's less unknowns. And I got a book called Wemberly Worried that Mom suggested about a little girl who's worried about school.
And yes, Josey. I think our girls are really similar. I know DD would do fine going in if she was going straight into her classroom. I also have to walk a fine line between correctly her when she makes a mistake and not upsetting her with thinking someone is going to be mad because she did something wrong.
The necklace or bracelet is a great idea. I am going to do that tomorrow, for sure. Thank you!
I know. I don't even want to talk to her about school before bed or in the morning at all because I know she's going to cry. Today, on the way, I just said, "Are you excited for school today?" and the tears came and she said she didn't want to go to the after school.
This post is making me cry!
DD is having a hard time, too. I think it's mostly that she needs to find her new normal, but her teacher is not friendly at all. Emily walked in this morning with a big smile on her face and said hello to her teacher, but the teacher looked over her to someone else that walked in. The look on Emily's face
Then the teacher noticed her and touched her on the head and said good morning.
DD's other teachers loved her and always made a huge deal when she walked into a room. Not that that was the right thing to do! But they always said Emily lights up a room. She just starts every day that happy, you know?
Anyway, I guess she just needs more time to make friends and have something to look forward to everyday. And maybe a friend to greet her? lol
I'm off to go sit in the car line for an hour. Hopefully she had a good day, along with your DD's!
Mom did "worry"/"magic" rocks for her 2nd graders for years and she used to tell them it was to remind them of the magic inside of them. She suggested the bracelet/necklace because if the kids don't have pockets it's hard to keep track of the rock. I'm hoping I can tell DD she can fiddle with it whenever she's nervous (I'm a fiddler) and it will remind her how much we love her and how we're so proud of her.
DD also doesn't do well with surprises or unknowns. I think that's worse for her than the actual day or anything. She loves school. It's the anxiety and overwhelmingness (is that even a word) that's upsetting her. She is one who would never do well with a surprise party. She does much better when you prepare her for what's coming up - good or bad - but not too much. That's why I figured if we did it in the morning while she was eating, it'd be good timing so she'd know what was going to happen that day without being so overwhelmed or given too much time to worry about it. We'll see. Keep me posted, Ladies! Maybe we can form a support group?
We recently transitioned daycare centers (DD1 had just turned 5). They are both within the same chain of centers, we just moved to one closer to our house so the look and feel and cirriculum are the same.
She still had a very similar reaction to the transition as your DD. For the first few weeks she'd have days where she cried (the teachers were GREAT about taking her and getting her going on a distracting activity) and other days where she'd run off in a great mood.
It took a good month or so for her to get comfortable with the new routine, new people and new surroundings. I'd say this is a "it takes time" thing. You could do some of the things you mention. My girls bring a toy in their backpacks (not sure if that's okay) and are allowed to bring it out at a designated time during the day.
She's actually enrolled in a private kindergarten through the center but we'll be looking at another transition to public school for 1st grade next year--I'm already anticipating it...
It's tough on a mama!!!