Would you approach another mom if her kid has eczema?

magdusia · August 2011

the post below made me think. Would you ever approach a mom if you saw her child is suffering from head to toe eczema which looks like a result of FA?

I have seen one once and had no guts to say anything but wish i did. They might just not know and need some guidance but you also don't want to step over any toes.

DandelionMom · August 2011

I'm the same as you. I even had a hard time saying anything about it to my SIL.

carlinlp · August 2011

I tend to be pretty vocal about all the healing happening in our family, so yeah, I probably would. I also look at it like this, I REALLY wish someone would have talked to me about it. We had no clue her eczema was related to allergies until DS's vax reaction.

It takes a village sometimes.

ohioroots · August 2011

carlinlp:

I tend to be pretty vocal about all the healing happening in our family, so yeah, I probably would. I also look at it like this, I REALLY wish someone would have talked to me about it. We had no clue her eczema was related to allergies until DS's vax reaction.

It takes a village sometimes.

Agreed. I don't know if I would have the guts to say something (because I've never encountered it) but I would try to muster up the courage somehow. Lord knows I wish someone would have said something to me 5 months earlier.

aniceucchik · August 2011

I think i would, but im loud and obnoxious like that...lol, especially if a kid was suffering and it could be helped...

GHBEA · August 2011

I would say "I see your LO has eczema, what are his/her food allergies? My LO is caused by such and such" this way you aren't pointing out something she already knows her child has but just being curious and making her think.

sophie888 · August 2011

I think it is so touchy commenting on another baby's appearance without hurting feelings.

First, you don't want the mom to think that the eczema is all you are noticing about her baby. Let's face it, eczema can be downright hard to look at. I know my son used to look like we locked him in a room with a wolverine, forget about how infected it used to get. When I was a teen I had TERRIBLE acne. Once a co-worker came up to me(an older woman) and asked if I had ever thought of "such-and-such" treatment. It made me feel so self-conscious, like the first thing she saw was my awful skin.

Second, the mom might feel like you are insinuating that she isn't doing anything to take care of it. She's doesn't want other people to think she is neglectful.

To bring it up, I would first talk about MY son. Maybe ask her for her advice, "Since we found out my LO has food allergies, it's so hard to find good snacks. What does your LO like?" Then maybe talk about how he had horrible eczema, caused by the allergies. Chances are that she would talk about her own LO then.

Can you tell that I have thought about this? Stick out tongue

mdearrington · August 2011

I have one time (and plan to next week again) but the first time I just asked how their LO handled the eczema and what they used to remedy it. It was related to a cat allergy and they had just gotten rid of the cat. It was just in passing at target. Two moms searching through baby stuff looking for Aveeno or Cali Baby

g_belle · August 2011

I think I'd approach it with a "what are you trying- I feel like we've tried everything". I hated getting advice from strangers about J's skin- and like the previous poster- when that was their only comment I felt like that's all they saw. And some of them had crazy "solutions".....

blue33 · August 2011

I would start a conversation and mention that I went through that with my LO and tell her that we did allergy testing and found that he was allergic to BLAH BLAH BLAH, and that after we eliminated those things, his skin cleared immediately! I wish someone would have told me that. My poor child suffered with untreated eczema for several months because I didn't know that my breastmilk and eventually the formula I was giving him was making him sick. I wouldn't come off as judgy or preachy, but I would just tell her that I know it is hard and that her LO is uncomfortable, and that she may want to look into if her child has an allergy. I don't think she will be offended.

xoclair · August 2011

DH's brother has terrible acne and is rail thin.

I had acne as a teen, and my mum started eliminating things from my diet to pinpoint what it was: Dairy. And probably gluten but we didn't find that out until much, much later.

I have mentioned it in passing to my MIL about DH's brother's skin condition but she continues to encourage huge glasses of chocolate milk and copious amounts of yogurt. "How will he get his calcium?"

Anyway, it's a very touchy subject for some people. She might really welcome the thought or she might resent the idea "My child could never have a FA"

Good luck!

mrsseguin · August 2011

From a lurker....my kids have no allergies, but DS had HORRIBLE eczema all over his face from 2 months to 15 months of age. I had many people ask about allergies and scare me into thinking he was going to have allergies because of his skin. My brother has a severe nut allergy. We tried everything to get rid of it...it just cleared up on his own. I always felt judged because of his appearance...people were always hinting around trying to figure out what caused it.

Maybe I was taking things the wrong way....but I agree with the pp who commented about their appearance being the first thing people notice about LO. I was kinda hurt by it and annoyed by people's comments. I guess it would all depend on the approach that was used, some people may get really offended.

macchiatto · August 2011

I agree with Sophie's approach. I'd approach it gently and tactfully and try to talk about your LO. My allergist did say the thinking has swung back these days to the idea that eczema *can* be primary, that it's not always caused by food allergies, so I wouldn't assume. I think striking up a conversation and mentioning what helped your LO could be helpful, though, but I'd really try to do it sensitively and try to read the other mom well and change the subject if it was bugging her.

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