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MinnieMouse's update & decision

MinnieMouse1018MinnieMouse1018
in Adoption

I have been doing a lot of thinking and the advice I have gotten here has helped a lot.  But the turning point was when my baby's dad and I had our last phone conversation and I felt like he was pushing me into adoption.  I had this sudden fear that he could make me place her (which I wrote about in my last post).  I realized that if I really wanted to place her, I wouldn't have been scared...but relieved that he wanted an adoption.

I am not even sure if he wants an adoption.  His mother still wants to meet with the two of us.  I am friends with her on facebook and I see her on often.  I finally found the nerve to ask her why she wanted to meet with us and we had a good conversation.  It wasn't an easy conversation but it was definitely needed and definitely helped.  It seems that my baby's dad has a hard time expressing himself to me and has been talking to his mom about it instead.  And what I took as his lack of interest was him trying to give me space because of my marriage and because he has feelings for me (his mom said I broke his heart which made me feel so sad because we were best friends and I never meant to hurt him!)  We are meeting tomorrow night so hopefully we can get some things worked out.  For the first time since finding out I was pregnant, I feel as if maybe I am not doing this alone. 

My husband knows that I am keeping her.  So far he seems to still be in this.  And it's hard to explain, but for the first time I am not afraid to lose him.  I love him so much and I hope our marriage survives this but if not, I know I will be ok someday.  I love him but we have had our share of problems and I finally realize that if it is truly meant to be, it will work out.  However, I don't think I would have ever gotten over losing my baby, especially since I would have been placing her for the wrong reasons.

I want to thank everyone again for reading my posts, giving me advice, for not judging me and for your support in general. 

 

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Re: MinnieMouse's update & decision

  • amm78amm78 member
    I am so glad to hear that you have come to a decision that you feel at peace with.  Good luck with everything! :)
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  • dragossoul84dragossoul84 member
    I'm glad you came to a decision that your at peace with I'm sure that these have been trying times for you
    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt17cf53.aspx" alt=" BabyFruit Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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  • MrsKolasaMrsKolasa

    I'm so happy to hear that you are feeling good about your choice. I wish you well, thanks for being honest and sharing your situation with us. :-)

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Moved to Domestic Adoption 9/09 Matched 10/09 Sweet little Luke was born 12/9/09!
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  • baze2baze2
    Yes thank you for sharing your honest feelings and situation. I am so glad you feel good about this decision.
    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
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  • srmmm09srmmm09
    Honestly, I praise God you came to a decision before getting any adoptive families involved, you know? Way to be strong in really following what you feel is right. I agree with PP; counseling is great. If you're in financial straits, I know some psychs do pro bono work.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    Application approved Dec '11
    Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
    After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
    Homestudy complete July 19
    USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
    Come home, baby A!
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    Ditto the pps. I'm glad you had the hard conversations and made the decision that feels right to you. I hope you continue to work through what you need to. GL and keep us updated.
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  • taparhamtaparham member
    I'm glad you came to a decision.  From reading your posts I knew placing your baby wasn't want you would want to do or something you could live with.  Good luck with your life and I hope you will have a healthy and happy baby. 
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  • fdsgfdgkgffdsgfdgkgf
    This post has been edited by a moderator
    to remove the redirecting hyperlink spam

    PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS.
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