- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Special Needs
How to help a good friend with special needs child
One of my very good friends has a 2 yr old. The child seems to have special needs. My friend and her husband seem to be in denial. I feel so bad for all those involved. I have been meeting up with her a couple times a week and I noticed she seems to be losing all her friends and even some family is not hanging around as much. The child, Evan, cannot say even one word yet. He has odd behaviors. Examples would be he often tries to lick the ground outside and will eat dog food if it's left out. He makes loud noises often, like grunting and strong whining sounds. He is able to walk very well (which is great!) but he is running 80% of the time. He constantly fights if anyone tries to hold him (including mom). In public it is very difficult. Everyone is looking constantly as he grunts/screams/whines. He is very loud. He is very very heavy so when he fights, it's hard to control him at all. I think her friends have difficulty being around that and just don't want to see her often now because of it.
So the pedi has mentioned autism as a possiblity but they want to wait a year or so to research it more as mom and dad don't think there's anything wrong with him. I am trying hard to be there for my friend in any way possible. She keeps thanking me profusely for hanging out with her. I feel bad because she doesn't need to thank me...it's mutual and I have fun spending time with them too. Sometimes I will take the little boy while she runs to get food and do something quick around the house. I'm sweating in just a few minutes from watching him...it's really really hard and I give her lots of credit for what she does. I wish I could do more for her. She already has him in daycare so she doesn't need babysitting but she does seem slightly depressed at times at home with him.
So I'm here asking you all a few things. (1) Does my description sound like autism? (2) How can I help my friend in any way other than doing what I"m doing and (3) when she goes on and on about how "normal" her child is, should I simply keep nodding and being positive like I am? I usually just say stuff like "oh he's a great runner" or "he has a great healhy appetite" or focus on something positive/healthy.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How to help a good friend with special needs child
Since the pedi has mentioned it I would just smile and nod. If no one saw signs my answer might be different, but since it is on the radar you saying something won't help.
I think it is great you hang out with your friend, and you should continue to do so. If there is an official diagnosis down the road she will need your support.
Ditto what pp's said.
Accepting that your child isn't typical is VERY difficult and can take awhile. If she is around typical kids (and it sounds like she is) she will come to realize and accept any differences in her child in her own time.