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April 2012 Moms
stephlas8
member
I'm officially a jerk
stephlas8
member
DH and I had to go to the house inspection this morning (all went well, yay!) and it got sort of boring just sitting there after awhile so I got on FB and was looking through my mini feed when I saw that one of my bridesmaids and friends from college is also pregnant- her mom had said "I'm going to be a grandmother!"
My initial reaction was not "OH yay a friend to be pregnant with!" but more of just annoyance that she's stealing my thunder. She's the friend who does everything after you're the one to talk about it but before you actually do it. She got engaged a few months before I did and rubbed it in...a lot. She got married 6 months before I did and on my wedding day only talked about how it reminded her of her beautiful wedding and what I should've done differently. She's very emotional and has her feelings hurt very easily, especially if you try and steal the spotlight from her. When I called earlier to congratulate her and ask her when she was due, she went on and on and then I said, "surprise, I'm due a week before you!" and all she said was "...oh. good! this will be fun." She's a week behind me and is already announcing it to the world and we're not so it'll look like once again, I just followed in her footsteps with the idea of getting pregnant.
I hope this is just my hormones being out of whack because I feel like such a b!tch getting so irritated by this. Go ahead and flame me, I'm probably way out of line here. I can be rationally happy for her but emotionally I'm all kinds of irritated.
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Re: I'm officially a jerk
I think I would feel the exact same way as you!!
I know it's easier said than done, but just try to focus on how happy you are with your pregnancy. And atleast you're due first!
i def don't blame you. i have a friend similar to yours who is always in competition...with herself, because i'm not playing. i thought it would be cute to be pregnant together, but i'm glad we weren't/not.
enjoy your pregnancy and maybe one day we'll tell these girls, its not that serious.
I'm going to flame - but just a little
You say she's announcing it to the world and you're not, yet you told her your news. You really shouldn't have. Plus, you call to congratulate her yet interrupt her to say I'm due a week before you! Just sounds like you're acting exactly like you describe her to be. And last thing, it doesn't look like your following her since you're 1 week ahead of her. I think this is more the hormones then anything!
I get the slight annoyance you felt when hearing someone else close to you is pregnant cause everyone wants to feel like they are the spotlight but you shouldn't stoop to her level. Move on and be happy
You hit the nail on the head- why the heck am I friends with her? We had a rocky friendship through college but came out of it ok (like I said she was a bridesmaid) but after the wedding she wouldn't return my calls or texts and we just drifted). I don't know what I did wrong- that's what our problem always was in college. She'd get mad and I would have no idea what I had done wrong.
I think she really just is in competition with herself and feels better being the trendsetter.
I know you're exactly right that I'm just being a butthead but I do have to defend myself a little- when I say announcing it to the world I mean that she's got it all over facebook. And I did congratulate her and listen to her, and didn't interrupt her to say anything. she asked me how I was and i told her that we bought a house and then "surprise!" I thought by telling her and sharing excitement maybe i would feel better if she was happy for me, too. but at the end of the day, you're right, i'm being a jerk and i know it.
Think of it this way one of you could go early and one of your could go late. Meaning you could have your sweet baby in your arms while she's 42 weeks and miserable. OR, it could go the other way :-).
Really though you either need to drop the competition now or just stop being friends. It will only get worse when the babies come and someone sleeps through the night first, rolls over first, etc. It is easy to cut people out of your life once you have kids because you don't have time to hang around with people who are not supportive. Maybe this is an opportunity to let the friendship dwindle away on its own.
A few things.
1. When you announce it you will steal HER thunder even if you announce afterward because you will be due BEFORE her.
2. Tell her about thebump and the catty girls will eat her alive!
Penelope Lynn 5.8.2009
Harrison Peter 4.10.2012
Check out the blog at balletandbaseball.com
My sister in law seems to think we're in a life competition as well and it drives me nuts! We got engaged in sept and her and my BIL were split up and got back together in december when their baby was born and magically 2 months later they were married. She even went as far as to post a status right before our wedding that including the following "we so beat them... yayayaya" but they have no jobs, no vehicles and live in a room in her dads house... if she's an example of winning, I'll lose every day of the week.
Needless to say we don't speak... lol
I can't believe she's announcing it already! Am I the only one who thinks FB announcements should be saved for after 1st tri? I'd feel terrible for someone who announces and then has to retract if God forbid something happens.
With that said, it sounds like you don't really like this chicky. So, I'd try to cut the friendship loose. Once you are a busy mommy you won't have time for friends that you don't really care for.
LOL!!!!!
#1 also true, by the time you announce her news will be so OLD and everyone will be all excited for you