This really has me sad and mad.

jmepurple · August 2011

About a month or two ago there was a horrible accident where a 1 year old was killed. As the story unfolded it was found that the father was holding the 1 year old on his lap when they were hit head on by a drunk driver. The mother, who was driving, was critically injured and the father had minor injuries. Today there is an article in the paper stating that no charges will be filed and an explaination as to why the child was not in her car seat. Here is the article Read Me.

What gets me is that the mother allowed H to take the baby our of the car seat. Why would he not have pulled over so that he could get in the back to feed her a snack or him drive and her get in the back.

I could not imagine the horror of loosing a child, let alone in an accident caused by a drunk driver. But lets just say that there wasn't an accident, why was this still ok? Anywho, not that the answer will ever be known. This accident really caused alot of outrage in our area. I feel sad for this family for loosing their precious little girl.

Rach21 · August 2011

Just goes to show you that even if you are "close to home" the unexpected can happen. I would press charges if I was the cop (if only just to drive home how important child restraints are), but I don't think any fine could impose more of a punishment than a lifetime without my LO. It was a stupid mistake and they are paying dearly for it.

kita09 · August 2011

can't judge. men just don't think that way sometimes. they are more practical. i don't let my LO stay with her father as much (we are married and live together) because he takes chances i wouldn't take. this man will live with this for the rest of his life. one brief period of pure laziness cost him his precious child. his wife may have raised an objection but he did it anyway. who knows?

jmepurple · August 2011

I agree. What has me angry is not the fact of no charges pressed. I believe that they are suffering the ultimate consequences of their actions.

missymo · August 2011

I'm confused...the man who hit them is being charged. It wouldn't make me mad that charges are not being filed against the parents.

Yes, it was a senseless, horrible tragedy that maybe could have been prevented if the parents had put the child in a car seat. However, I don't think sending the mom and dad to jail for an accident that has probably made them WISH they were dead would solve anything at all. Do you?

I have never taken my child out of the car while it was moving and I don't condone it...but I bet you that a TON of parents have. Lots of people are very flustered around a screaming and inconsolable child. They sometimes make poor decisions.

Kitiara5512 · August 2011

I don't think it's right that there are no charges but like PPs said, they have already received a life sentence.

jmepurple · August 2011

missymo:

I'm confused...the man who hit them is being charged. It wouldn't make me mad that charges are not being filed against the parents.

Yes, it was a senseless, horrible tragedy that maybe could have been prevented if the parents had put the child in a car seat. However, I don't think sending the mom and dad to jail for an accident that has probably made them WISH they were dead would solve anything at all. Do you?

I have never taken my child out of the car while it was moving and I don't condone it...but I bet you that a TON of parents have. Lots of people are very flustered around a screaming and inconsolable child. They sometimes make poor decisions.

Again, like I said earlier. It isn't that they aren't being charged. It's the decision that they made. DS HATES the car and typically cries on most car rides any where. I would NEVER take him out of his seat and put him on my lap because that made him stop crying. And like I did say before I believe they are suffering for the choice they made.

missymo · August 2011

jmepurple:
missymo:

I'm confused...the man who hit them is being charged. It wouldn't make me mad that charges are not being filed against the parents.

Yes, it was a senseless, horrible tragedy that maybe could have been prevented if the parents had put the child in a car seat. However, I don't think sending the mom and dad to jail for an accident that has probably made them WISH they were dead would solve anything at all. Do you?

I have never taken my child out of the car while it was moving and I don't condone it...but I bet you that a TON of parents have. Lots of people are very flustered around a screaming and inconsolable child. They sometimes make poor decisions.

Again, like I said earlier. It isn't that they aren't being charged. It's the decision that they made. DS HATES the car and typically cries on most car rides any where. I would NEVER take him out of his seat and put him on my lap because that made him stop crying. And like I did say before I believe they are suffering for the choice they made.

Ahhh...got it. Your first post kinda made it sound like you were pissed they weren't charged. I agree with you though - they are suffering for sure.

June2007 · August 2011

That is horrible.

In the process of moving DH and I lived apart for 6 months and we would make 3 hr drive between new place and old place many weekends, when I complained about how much longer the potty and nursing breaks made the trip many friends advised me to just take the baby out of the car seat and nurse her and then put her back, they do it all the time. Indifferent <----this was my face. There is no way I would ever risk that. It seems common though. These were some of the most educated women in our group that suggested it too.

kita09 · August 2011

missymo:

Yes, it was a senseless, horrible tragedy that maybe could have been prevented if the parents had put the child in a car seat. However, I don't think sending the mom and dad to jail for an accident that has probably made them WISH they were dead would solve anything at all. Do you?

i agree. i'd rather they spend my taxpayer money on rapists, killers, and robbers. you PAY to incarcerate people and i can't see the point of it. i've made many a split second stupid decisions in life and it's by the grace of God i or others didn't have to pay for it.

Aloe0l · August 2011

June2007:

That is horrible.

In the process of moving DH and I lived apart for 6 months and we would make 3 hr drive between new place and old place many weekends, when I complained about how much longer the potty and nursing breaks made the trip many friends advised me to just take the baby out of the car seat and nurse her and then put her back, they do it all the time. <----this was my face. There is no way I would ever risk that. It seems common though. These were some of the most educated women in our group that suggested it too.

I always try to hang my boob over before stopping - while that requires me to be out of a seatbelt, I'd rather take that chance than take DD out.

And, he took the kid out to feed her a snack - why not just crawl in the back and let her eat the damnn french fries in her seat?

jmepurple · August 2011

Aloe0l:
June2007:

That is horrible.

In the process of moving DH and I lived apart for 6 months and we would make 3 hr drive between new place and old place many weekends, when I complained about how much longer the potty and nursing breaks made the trip many friends advised me to just take the baby out of the car seat and nurse her and then put her back, they do it all the time. <----this was my face. There is no way I would ever risk that. It seems common though. These were some of the most educated women in our group that suggested it too.

I always try to hang my boob over before stopping - while that requires me to be out of a seatbelt, I'd rather take that chance than take DD out.

And, he took the kid out to feed her a snack - why not just crawl in the back and let her eat the damnn french fries in her seat?

Exactly!

Yules · August 2011

I feel bad for the parents. I can't imagine the guilt and sorrow that will remain with them forever. We all do stupid, senseless crap. Just yesterday I forgot to strap DS inside the stroller. I would not put it past me to forget to fasten the seatbelt in his car seat at least once during his childhood. It's a lot easier to criticize from afar, who knows what posessed this father to take the kid out of the seat. Poor kid, poor parents.

decemberbean · August 2011

This was a local story for me too and it is really sad. I agree with the other posters that they are going through the worst punishment I am sure they have ever endured. I don't know where you are located, but it caused alot of outrage in my area too.

MrsSeli · August 2011

I think those parents have been punished enough, for sure. However, I don't like that message being sent by the legal system. "It's illegal to not use a carseat. Oh, unless your kids is, like, crying or something." Not good.

kita09 · August 2011

Yules:
put it past me to forget to fasten the seatbelt in his car seat at least once during his childhood. It's a lot easier to criticize from afar, who knows what posessed this father to take the kid out of the seat.

my husband forgot to fasten LO once. he wants to see her out every morning so i usually hop in the drivers seat and he straps her into the car seat. i get to grandma's and no straps! she was really young then and we were both overwhelmed.

drewiekc · August 2011

How awful for this family. There are a million "could-a, would-a, should-a's" in this scenario, but there is no point in hashing them out. The fact of the matter is that they made a poor judgement call (which we ALL have done on one level or another) and will be paying for it the rest of their lives.

When DD was younger and in her infant carrier, there were a couple of times I took off in the car without her strapped in. If I stopped at a store somewhere and took her inside in the carrier, I would always unstrap her so she'd be more comfortable while we were out of the car, and then strap her back up when I put the carrier back in the car. Several times I drove off without remembering to strap her back in, and thankfully was never in an accident.

I agree with the PP who said that it's a really poor message that the DA's office is sending by basically saying that it's OK to take your kid out of their seat if they are crying, but I definitely do not think these parents should have been charged. A $100 fine and probation is NOTHING compared to what they are going through.

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