I fail at being a mother.

sarahdee678 · August 2011

I never wanted to have that baby who cried every time someone other than her parents held her. I've even made sure try to prevent that. Since LO was a newborn, she has been passed around at church every chance we had. Starting about 2 weeks ago, she would get upset when someone else held her, and now my mom is here for a few days and LO won't have anything to do with her! I'm not that mom who doesn't let other people hold her or project any kind of fear of strangers on her.

She is getting herself so worked up that my mom can't even look at her without her whimpering and then going into an all-out cry. Then, when she's passed back to me, she calms down and is totally fine. I left the house today for an hour, and mom said she cried the entire time. I'm supposed to be starting her at a sitter in a couple weeks, and I'm afraid that the sitter is going to tell me she can't watch her anymore if she acts like this.

Is this a stage they go through or have I really raised a spoiled mommy's girl?

wall0307 · August 2011

Kid's have their own personalities. They are born this way. She could also have stranger anxiety, which is a stage in their development.

ttarnold23 · August 2011

DD did this, it was so stressful. And then she popped out 2 teeth right before 5 months and she was a different baby. Good luck, I personally know this is hard. My DD wouldn't go near my IL's and they blamed me. But they also kinda suck.

McAllie5 · August 2011

She's definitely not spoiled! She's probably just starting to realize that you two are two different people and can be separated. It's a scary thought, and she's probably worried about being away from you. We haven't hit this stage yet, but I hear it's a really common one. Just give her extra snuggles for now. Not sure how to handle the babysitter thing, but the sitter may have advice.

SouthFloridaMommy · August 2011

Relax, you don't fail at being a mother. Kids go through phases. You have done all you can do. It is hard, but this too shall pass (eventually).

suv75 · August 2011

Stranger anxiety. It's a phase and can come around your daughter's age. You haven't failed as a mommy. Chill

Christine&Chris · August 2011

Well if you failed so have I! DD has recently started the same thing. She's become clingy to me or DH, so much so that when my sister (who sees her every week and babysits now and again) came over, just the sight of her made her start crying. My sister had to leave the house! Same thing happened with my in-laws, and then today DD was the happiest baby playing with grandma for 7 hours. But, she's also started rolling over, sleeping through the night, and is teething - so she's got a lot going on. I have no doubt it's a phase, and I don't mind if she needs some extra time with mommy and daddy - she always has been passed around a bit and I'm loving the cuddle demands.

shellpep3 · August 2011

My LO has done the same thing, whimpering when being held by someone other than me. I think it's a phase. And I also think she's teething.

sarahdee678 · August 2011

It's funny that a couple of you mentioned teething, because she's definitely got some teeth stuff going on. I hope that once that passes, she'll be a little more friendly.

NicKL · August 2011

Spencer went through a short phase of this when we moved back to MI, he was about 6-8 weeks at the time. It was like a switch: with someone else = screaming, with me= calm. In our case, I was introducing him to quite a bit of new family, but I thought he was too young for stranger anxiety, but who knows. He has since almost completely stopped this and now smiles at the former "strangers". I don't think you're looking at a spoiled child. However, I think its probably not a good idea to run to her every single time. She will feed off of your emotions to regulate hers, so if you calm her down and then try again, she'll probably follow your lead.

MandyD82 · August 2011

McAllie5:
She's definitely not spoiled! She's probably just starting to realize that you two are two different people and can be separated. It's a scary thought, and she's probably worried about being away from you. We haven't hit this stage yet, but I hear it's a really common one. Just give her extra snuggles for now. Not sure how to handle the babysitter thing, but the sitter may have advice.

We just hit this stage! My husband will be holding her and she will be ok and then see me in the room and try to get away from him. She will hold out her arms and want me to hold her. She is also starting to get whinny during diaper changes or whenever I put her down at night. My advise, is it's a stage, dont get too down on yourself. Baby loves you more than anything and it's just her way of showing it right now. As the world becomes less scary and she learns she is safe with others, it will get better. LO is still great at daycare drop offs, her teacher always greets us at the door and picks her up immediately.

BuffaloMomToBe · August 2011

For my DD it was, very thankfully, a stage. It passed within a couple weeks...we still have some times when she doesn't want to be held by anyone else but her mama but it's getting more few and far between. Good luck, I hope it passes for you too!

RunningGal900 · August 2011

My 6-year-old cousin was like this until she was 2.5. She was very attached to her mother. Now she is outgoing, active and very social. She went through a separation anxiety phase which was probably longer than most kids, but you met her today you'd never know. Your baby will adjust to the sitter and eventually to other strangers. Good luck...I imagine it is stressful!

Alicia_22 · August 2011

We are dealing with this also but she's fine at daycare! Actually she only cries with my IL's!! She has started crying when I walk into daycare to get her (before I have time to get to her) but is fine in the mornings when I drop her off. I'm hoping it passes soon because I know it's killing my MIL!

PartiallySunny · August 2011

It could be her personality or just a stage she is going through. You not a failure.

Maybe have the babysitter come a couple days while you are home to interact with the child before you leave them alone together. That way you are close by and LO can see if she starts to get anxious (or starts crying). It may help with the transition.

BeetleLinz1125 · August 2011

You aren't a failure!

It's OK. She will grow out of it.

Maybe you can let whoever wants to hold your DD wear a sweater/scarf/something with your "scent" on it so she's reassured that the person who is holding her is OK in your book. Sounds wierd, but it's worth a shot. Maybe a familiar scent will help.

RayRay007 · August 2011

DD had a week of screaming her head off at anyone but dad or me and i had no idea what happened to my happy smiley baby. It passed, although she still has her moments when she's tired. And I'm sure it will happen some more before it's gone for good. But it is a totally normal phase. Even though I don't want too raise a momma's girl either, when she does have her moments I make sure to comfort her because I want her to trust and feel secure. I think that will help her stranger insecurities, not make her more needy.

Jill070707 · August 2011

We're dealing with this phase, too. Just trying to grin and bear it right now! You're not alone.

iris427 · August 2011

Every child goes through phases that suck. They are people and you can't always expect them to act like the child you imagined you'd have. The bad phases are temporary and don't mean you have failed as a mother.

Owenbycm · August 2011

My father thinks my child is spoiled. I the same thing with letting people hold her, hoping she would be comfortable around strangers and at 3 months things changed. She refused to let my mom anywhere near her and she would get upset when I dropped her off with my aunt. She is 5 months now and will let my mom hold her and is happy to be left at my aunts house. As long as I am no where in sight she is fine, but if I am around and someone looks at her the wrong way she gets upset.

Want a personalized experience?

I fail at being a mother.

Re: I fail at being a mother.

Choose Another Board

Search Boards