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Pregnant after IF
may2806
member
Bedrest may have outed me...
may2806
member
I just got a facebook message from and ex-coworker/friend who heard from someone in my company who I know but don't work with directly that I'm on bedrest, and she wants to know if everything's ok. (got that?) I told my boss I'm pregnant but haven't told my staff (although they know about my previous losses so maybe they've guessed) or anyone else in the company.
I know it's probably out of general concern for me but it seems that other people in the company know I'm on bedrest (everyone tends to gossip). I don't really want it to be common knowledge until I'm out of 1st tri (God willing that I make it that far). But, I also don't want everyone wondering what is wrong with me and thinking I'm dying or something! What should I do? I at least have to say something to my ex-coworker/friend but not sure how good she is at keeping secrets.
Dx: High FSH, stage IV endo, homozygous C677T MTHFR and PAI-1
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
Early loss 10/08
Lap 1/09
IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
2 frosties but don't know what's next
FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Bedrest may have outed me...
That is really hard... I had a coworker who had the same type of thing happen to her. She got put on bedrest and got incredibly sick her first trimester, so stopped showing up - naturally. It was only out of genuine concern that people asked, but my guess is her pregnancy news got out far before she would have liked.
With health issues, I would like to think people should know not to expect details. Do you think something as simple as "just dealing with a health related complication - but it isn't anything life threatening/I am fine" would work? People might assume if they know your history, but I'm not sure you can do anything about that - short of just deciding to lie to everyone (which I wouldn't judge you one bit for doing!).
Because we're fancy like that.
Don't feel obligated to tell anyone, especially if you are not comfortable. Just tell her you are not comfortable putting your personal health information out there for the world. If you are comfortable, then let her know. Ask that out of respect for you, she nor the coworker friend join in or contribute to any of the gossip that may be happening in your absence.
I was terrified and don't have near the same journey you have had. I can't imagine what you are going through.
My bosses thought I was dying and it was just due to scheduling my travel around appointments. People will make up stories, it is just part of human nature. It seems like your coworkers are just concerned for you, especially if they are familiar with your losses.
"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try one more time.'" -Anonymous
I had to out myself to my boss at about 8 weeks when I had bleeding and was on bedrest. Of course, she had to keep the info confidential and I didn't tell the rest of my coworkers until I was in the 2nd tri and ready.
When I went back to work around 9 1/2 or 10 weeks a few people asked if I was okay and I said that I was and that I just had to deal with some medical issues.
Sort of this same thing happened to me - except it was sickness! Everyone at my work knew at like 6 weeks already - it sucked, but there wasn't much I could do about it. But then it was kind of worth it because they all helped me out and gave me great support when I couldn't be there for most days. It is unfortunate, but I don't think you have to acknowledge any "rumors" until you want to. Like I said, I'm sure everyone at my work knew right away (especially since we had a m/c before that they knew about) but I didn't confirm until a few weeks later when I felt comfortable.
11/2010 DH SA good...01/2011 HSG is clear...01/2011 Consult with RE
suprise BFP but m/c on 2/7/11
03/2011 50 mg clomid=BFN
04/2011 clomid+bromocriptine+IUI=BFP at 11dpiui
Beta #1(11dpiui)=33, Beta #2 (13dpiui)=96, Beta #3 (20dpiui)=1910, Beta #4 (26dpiui)=20,134