UDPATE: Freaked out about a major daycare mistake

Kimberly92405 · August 2011

Thank you all for your encouragement, sympathies and opinions. It was a long and stressful weekend, and having to drop DS off at the school this morning was dreadful but I had no choice. My DH and are setting up a meeting with the assistant director (director is on vacation) and the regional director later this week. I'm going to wait to hear from them about what they have done, or will be doing, about the situation to help decide if we will be looking for a new place. I work 30 miles away, but am going to take some time off work when I can so I can randomly drop in to see what is going on, and DH works closer so he will be dropping in even more frequently.

I hadn't thought of reporting the incident to a state agency, so for those who suggested that, good idea. I will be looking into that for sure.

As far as asking the other mom for a blood test, some felt it was going too far and an unreasonable request. Just so you know, I thought long and hard about that request before I made it. It was suggested to me that I do that by a nurse, as that is protocol any time bodily fluid is exchanged by accident. I would never ask someone to do something I wouldn't be willing to do if the situation was reversed. I did consider that I might offend her, but frankly, protecting my child is my number one priority and that to me would have been the best assurance. She could have something and not know about it. It's the same principle behind why one should never use a used breast pump, even if it's from somebody they know and trust. I asked her, she said no, and I didn't press the issue. I'm not an unreasonable person, just a really strong advocate for the health and well-being of my baby.

If anyone has any questions or demands they can think of that I should talk about at the meeting, I'd love to hear them.

Thanks again for listening and weighing in.

katlizabeth · August 2011

Good luck to you! I'm glad your LO is fine (right?) and that you'll be meeting with the director soon! I don't really have daycare experience, so I can't help you there.

virginiagirl11 · August 2011

Best of luck. That is a really difficult situation.

Kimberly92405 · August 2011

I failed to update the MOST important part, LO is fine. Had no allergic reactions. Although he probably wondered why mom and dad were inspecting every inch of his body looking for rashes all weekend. This parenting thing can be really tough sometimes. <sigh>

Scout05 · August 2011

I didn't think you were out of line to ask for the blood test, personally. I would have asked, and I would have complied, if I had been in either situation.

But of course it was her right to refuse.

GHBEA · August 2011

EVERY THING is transmitted through breast milk and you not knowing if she smokes or drinks among things you had every right to ask. So those that got on your case about it should do their research and then see how they would feel if it was their baby. Some one may look the picture of health but behind close doors you don't know what they do.

Glad LO didn't appear to have any issues. GL with everything.

AB&TB · August 2011

Glad LO is fine. Good luck with your meeting later this week!

JennDave+1 · August 2011

Good Luck and I am sorry that you are in this situation. If it makes you feel any better I may have not have had the guts to ask but I think asking for a blood test is perfectly reasonable (to easy your mind). Honestly I think it would be the only way I would get over it. But I think you did the right thing not pressing the issue. Good Luck and hope everything works out.

PinkGirlInCali · August 2011

GHBEA:
EVERY THING is transmitted through breast milk and you not knowing if she smokes or drinks among things you had every right to ask. So those that got on your case about it should do their research and then see how they would feel if it was their baby. Some one may look the picture of health but behind close doors you don't know what they do.
Glad LO didn't appear to have any issues. GL with everything.

This! I do think people got on your case about it though was because it looked as though the mother was being blamed a bit and the issue of the daycare needing to be reported was sliding by. I know that's not what you meant to make it look like but as we all know things on thebump are misinterpreted ALL the time. I understand her refusing and maybe being insulted, but I also understand you asking her regardless. GL to you. And I would want that teacher reprimanded in some way and for the director to tell me his/her plan to keep something like that from EVER happening again.

maddie789 · August 2011

I have been out of town this weekend, and hadn't gotten a chance to respond to your initial post. I am wishing you the best of luck. I had an experience at DS's daycare last week. DH was dropping DS off at our center, and went to put his bottles into this little tupperware container in the fridge with DS's name on it. Another child's food was in his container. DH questioned the teachers immediately, and they moved the child's food to its rightful spot. DH called me, and I did call the manager of the infant rooms to discuss the situation. I just wanted to be reassured that the teachers in that room would have known that the yogurt that was misplaced into DS's tupperware container would NOT have been given to my son. She went right into his classroom, found out that the dad of the other child had put his child's food into DS's container (their names are very similar). The center moved the other child's "spot" in their fridge and also moved his cubby - as it used to be on top of DS's, and they moved it to (hopefully) eliminate any further confusion.

I am not trying to compare our situations - yours is clearly a huge issue, mine was a little misunderstanding. But our center did everything possible to assure me that a confusion like that would never happen again. I used to be a childcare center administrator, and I know that a good center should do anything possible to make amends for a screw-up like this. I hope you get the response you deserve in your meeting.

lylahlove · August 2011

Best of luck to you at the meeting and sorry you're having to deal with this.The random drop ins are a good idea. fwiw, I also would have asked the other mom for the blood test.

ams8099 · August 2011

Good, I am glad you are setting up meetings with the directors. Random drop ins are a good idea too. Please keep us updated!

monkeymama11 · August 2011

OMG I can't believe that happened: I worked in a daycare until yesterday when I decided I would rather care for my own baby. I do have some advice for you, when you meet with the director ask her that she keep the same teachers in the classroom at all times. (I worked in the infant room and we had a group of 4 teachers in our room 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. Also you want 1 teacher in the classroom everyday from about 8-5 or whatever the main part of the day your DS is in the room. you want the same teacher everyday. the reason for this is mistakes happen when the classroom has a "revolving door" of teachers coming in and out. Also talk with the teachers about not putting a blanket with your baby and all of your concerns. teachers will respond better to you than to the director (we always feel as though we are being attacked by the directors but we know parents are just concerned for their children). You can also ask the director to demand a blood test from the other mother and just tell her that if something were to come up with your son the first person you would blame would be her bc she refused a blood test.

what daycare do you take your son to? Also report all incidents to state licensing, once a problem is reported it gets investigated and the daycare is given a deadline Usually 30 days to fix the mistake

sorry so long hope it helps! Good luck

ITGurl0626 · August 2011

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I personally would complain to the director, report it to the Sate, & find a new day care. An error like this is inexcusable. I would not take my child there & give them another opportunity to make another mistake. They have displayed carelessness in a big way.