Not sure if I belong here, but here goes...... — The Bump
Special Needs

Not sure if I belong here, but here goes......

Hi everyone, I'm Ali.

I am a 29 y.o. single mom of two boys (ages 4.5. and 3).  The reason I came to this board is because of my older son, Sebastian.

Sebastian was born 7 wks early because I had HELLP syndrome.  He was your typical preemie in that he met milestones later than your average kid.  He didn't walk til he was 15 or 16 months old.  Thankfully at about 20 months he saw a developmental pedi who told me he was completely normal.  I was thrilled because something always seemed a bit "off" to me.

Ok, so why am I here NOW?  Well, at the age of 4.5 (he'll be 5 in February) Sebastian *refuses* to poop in the toilet.  He has severe anxiety issues that he is seeing a child psychitrist for.  Apparently, Sebastian is a control freak.  He gets in trouble at pre-school several times a week and now we are at the point where they are thinking about kicking him out.  He constantly lies about things, says things he KNOWS are wrong/bad.  No amount of talking will get through to him.  I have tried everything that I can think of to "straighten" him out.

On the flip side, Sebastain is HIGHLY intelligent (told to us by both his doctor and his pre-school teachers) and can be the most loving, sweet child you could imagine.

I am utterly and completely at my wits end.  My ex-h blames me for the entire problem because I wouldn't stay in our crappy marriage.  I, at this point, am terrified that there is "something" (I don't know what this something is though) wrong with my son.  I cry about this more times than I care to admit, it is the #1 source of stress in my life.  *I* have even seen a counselor because of this whole mess.

I love my son more than anything and I am so scared for his future if his behavior continues down this path (I don't want him to be THAT kid in kindergarten).

So, hi. If I am in the wrong place, please let me know.

Re: Not sure if I belong here, but here goes......

  • Sounds like you are in the right place.  I believe that there may be some other mothers here who have children with behavioral issues.  Good luck.

    imageimageimageimageimage 9/07 m/c baby boy @ 18wks, 4/09 m/c @ 4.5wks
  • I am not a special needs mom, but a preschool special needs teacher.  I wold call your local school and ask for an evaluation.  It may be late, but he could still be tested and enrolled in a developmental preschool.  They would be better able to help you with behavior.  He could get therapy (occupational, physical, and speech) if needed.  It sounds like he could benefit from a program like that. 
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  • Hi Ali, I've seen you on MM, and I'm sorry that you are going through difficulties with your son.  I hope some of the other ladies here can help you get some answers for your son's situation.  I'm sorry that your ex-H blames you, that is awful and I don't blame you for not staying in the marriage. 
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