Multiples

s/o TTCing post-multiples

I'm curious about the decision to ttc after having multiples. For those who did (or are) ttc-- did you always know you wanted more kids? After you had your multiples, was there a time when you thought you'd stop there, then you changed your mind?

I'm just wondering how people came to the decision to try for more kids. We've been batting the idea back and forth, but seem at times to be talking ourselves in circles...

married 03/08/08 -- ttc with PCOS (dx 2005) & DS
IUI #3 gave us the best 2nd anniv. gift ever: 2 babies! (born 03/09/10)
Peanut and Little Man are getting so big! 2 years old already!
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finally blogging again at This Will Be: An Adventure

Re: s/o TTCing post-multiples

  • I change my mind daily.  If this FET doesn't work, we might well be 2 and done.

    We always said we wanted 3 kids, and we are going for #3.  I do think that if we didn't have as much trouble as we did getting pg the first time around, I would be more open to waiting a little bit longer.

     

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  • Prior to getting married, DH and I discussed having 4-5 kids.  I come from a big family, and I love the calm chaos that we lived in daily!  It was a lot of fun.

    The twins were a shock and when I was pregnant we were both thinking that maybe now 5 wasn't so crazy since we got 2 out at once!  But then the girls arrived....Big Smile

    I remember sitting in my bed nursing the girls (I think they were 5 weeks old) and telling DH that I didn't think I could do this again....ever.  He was great.  He just said "ok honey, that's fine with me", knowing that my emotions were speaking at the time! 

    It wasn't until I started packing away all my newborn stuff this past February that I realized I was going to be ready soon to start TTC.

    At this point, we are thinking 4 will be our number.  But you never know!

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  • Well I am not TTC right now but we know we want to in a few years so I will answer (hope that's ok! ;) ).  For the last 10 or so weeks of my pregnancy until our boys were maybe 5/6 months old, I was pretty confident that I thought we were done.  I just couldn't see myself wanting to be pregnant again and wanting to do the newborn stage again etc..  I only ever wanted 2 kids and my husband always wanted 3 so way before we had kids, we had agreed that we would hopefully have 2 and then see how we did with 2 and then discuss a possible third at that point.  But then (obviously), we had two at once and that plan kind of went out the window.

    My husband and I started talking more about it and thought we would probably want to try for another at some point.  It really wasn't until their first birthday where we both had a moment where we knew that we really were not ready for our family to be complete and we didn't want all of these "firsts" to be the only time we experienced them.  Our boys are spontaneous identical but I am also a fraternal twin so while I am very afraid of having twins again, it is not enough to make me not want to try for another.  It is enough, however, to make me want to wait awhile in case that happens.  At the very minimum, I will not even consider trying for another until our boys are 3 years old but I think we are going to wait until they are around 4, we'll see though.

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  • My DH and I always wanted at least 3 or 4 children- I come from a family of 4 girls.

    I do admit that now that we're somewhat "settled" and past the getting up at night, the boys can feed themselves and are much more independant I do wonder what it would be like just us four, but for us we don't feel our family is complete without adding at least 1 or 2 more :)

     

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  • well...we have one more vial of swimmers...so we'll use that at least. If it doesn't work, I'm not sure what we'll do. I want 4 kids, but I don't think we can afford it, so...beats me Stick out tongue
  • I always wanted a bigger family. DH only wanted 2 kids. We're compromising at 3. If #3 is a boy, I might be able to talk him into 4 after all :) As for when, I like the idea of getting my sleepless nights and potty training over with as quick as possible. I didn't want my boys to be going into kindergarden and starting all over. Just personal preference on my part. 
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  • Right after the babies were born, we both said we wanted more. Since then, DH has been gung-ho to start TTC. I've gone back and forth, but ultimately, I want more kids, although I am a bit scared. I love our little 4-person unit. One of my big fears is that we'll have a third, and we'll be sad he/she doesn't have a built-in playmate like the twins, and we'll want to go for a 4th baby, but I'm not sure we can afford that.

    The biggest reason we want more kids is b/c DH and I are both only children and come from small families. Between the two of us, we only have one aunt and one uncle, and our kids won't have any aunts or uncles. We want our kids to have siblings b/c it just always seemed to us that big families are so much more fun than our tiny families.

  • I'm very firmly in the "when you know, you KNOW" camp.  I'm 1000% sure I'm done.  We both wanted two kids, and the fact that they happened at once, even better.  Now, I don't have to get pregnant again, be pregnant again, or bounce back from pregnant again.  And honestly, I didn't realize I was such a boy mom until I had two.  Little girls, and more importantly, teenage girls scare me!

    DH likes to leave the door open for a 3rd (I think because he doesn't want a vasectomy yet), but I told him he has 4.5 years to get used to the idea of being done since that's when my IUD runs out. 

    If you ladies are seriously thinking about/wanting more, there's probably something to it.  Because like I said, the "I'm done" feeling certainly exisits. Big Smile

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  • For the first several months, I was so sure we were done because this ish is hard, man.  Yeah, well I know why people have kids 18 months apart - 9 months olds are FUN FUN FUN.  And they actually sleep and you have time for each other.  Not that we are TTC but we're not closing the door just yet.  I'm keeping all the clothes, getting rid of all the gear and then we'll see what happens.

    As I have spontaneous fraternals, I'm more than a little terrified of a second set of twins.  

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  • Our triplets haven't arrived yet, so obviously my feelings could change after they do, but we're not done. We've always wanted a big family 5-6 kids, and have 2 more vials of donor sperm left. We'll probably give those 2 a shot, and then if they don't work we'll adopt. My mother freaked when I told her that, but we'll go back to using clomid, which worked for DD, rather than injectibles....our issue was timing of trigger and IUI...to avoid multiples again.

    Wife. MoM {1G + BBG triplets}. DIY'er. Quilter. 

  • we always knew we wanted at least 3 kids.  Whether or not we'll go for a 4th after this baby is up in the air but we definitely wanted 3, never really went back and forth on the decision.
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  • After dealing with IF, and getting pregnant with twins, I thought I was done! But right after I had them, I knew I wanted more. I also like the idea of just having them close together because I know once they become more independent I don't want to go back to having a newborn. 

     

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  • I always knew I wanted more.  While I was pg I was positive I was done with these two.  Now that they're here, I want to try for another.  We have 3 frozen embies.  If those don't take, we're done.  I lost my tubes to an ectopic, so FET/IVF is our only option-no accidents will happen here.  At this point, I'm not interested in going through another IVF cycle.  That may change.  We're 28, so we're giving ourselves until 35 to completely put that to bed.  

    ETA: we got pg on our first IVF, so we're hoping that one of the three remaining (same quality) will stick.   

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  • I go back and forth all the time about having more kids.  I always knew I wanted 3 kids and DH only wanted 2.  Well he jokes that I always get what I want cause we had the twins.  I am also really scared of being pregnant with twins again.  Both pregnancies were complication free and my pregnancy with older DD was awesome so I wouldn't mind being pregnant with a singleton.  I cannot imagine how exhausting it would be to be pregnant with 3 kids to care for.  I would never be able to take them all out, not to mention the cost of daycare!  We can barely afford the 3 we have in daycare. We'll come to a final decision next late summer/fall.
  • At my 8 week post partum appointment I told my doctor I would NEVER have more kids, he said I would change my mind and he was right.   We always wanted 3 or 4 kids, but we didn't know how hard it was going to be for me to get pregnant.   We are going to do another IVF cycle in a couple months.   I guess I finally feel like I could handle another baby in addition to the twins.  I don't want to wait too long b/c IVF success decreases with age.  I don't want to regret not trying again. 
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  • I had baby fever bad from 15 months up until the girls second bday...but now I kind of feel settled and feel like dh and I finally have life under control and can do our own thing at times and it so fun going out with the girls now that they are getting bigger and can explore and do so much with us...I am kind of afraid of upsetting the balance we have with our fab little family of 4...adding an infant I am afraid will take away from the opportunities we can share with the girls...we still just don't know.  I am thinking we will decide within the year.  I don't want the girls to be starting kindergarten when we have another baby...so we will see...
  • The triplets were still in the NICU the first time I told DH that I didn't feel done and wanted to do it again. It never went away. We wanted a 2-3 year gap and had baby #4 when the trio were 2 1/2. We hope to try once more when Jericho is 3.
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  • We always wanted a big family. Dh is one of 6 and so from the minute we said "I do" we were TTC...didn't know we'd be on a long IF journey, but we're very grateful to have had our twins and again be pg with #3. We still have a few frosties left that we promised to give each a chance. If those don't work, we'll have to discuss our options--do IVF all over again, go the adoption route? I still am eternally hopeful that I"ll one day get a surprise BFP! Chances are slim to nil but hopin' never hurtsWink
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