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April 2012 Moms
CJPowers
member
DH is making me mad
CJPowers
member
So we have been talking about finances and what we will need to save for baby. We live in a small townhouse and we have 3 small bedrooms (our bedroom, guest room, and office). We have talked about what we are going to get rid of in the office (like a huge massage chair that DH had to have) in order to have room for a crib and a changing table to make a nursery. So today he decided that he HAS to buy another refrigerator for BEER. An entire fridge for BEER! I can't believe this right now. I yelled at him and had to walk away. Hormones are taking over my body and I can't think rationally. Have I lost it or is he out of his mind?
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Re: DH is making me mad
Micah Leonard
Look! I put the diaper on the baby!
Maybe he's kind of rebelling, and bought the beer fridge because he's afraid his life is over. I definitely would talk to him about it.
My husband and I also have separate "blow money" allotments. We call them allowances. It's money we can save up or spend on whatever we want without the other's permission. He buys a lot of electronics and video games, and I buy books and manis/pedis. I highly recommend it because it's stopped a lot of our fights over money.
I don't think it's either one of you that has lost or or are out of your mind. A baby is a BIG adjustment. I would have to agree with some of the other posters that maybe he's buying it because he feels like his "guy time" is running out. I'm sure he knows he won't need beer fridge when the baby gets here, but he/she isn't here now... so maybe he's trying to get his time in, while he still has it?
I was actually coming on here to complain about the same thing. DH is throwing a hissy fit this morning over changing the rooms in our townhouse. Like you we have 3 rooms- upstairs is our room and guest room/my office and downstairs we have a... completely vacant room with plans to turn it into DH's man den. Obviously baby and his/her things will be going in the second upstairs bedroom and my thought was to put the guest bed and furniture in the now vacant room. That idea totally pisses him off because it's infringing on "his space," which isn't even furnished! Actually, there's a couch in there. I had to just walk away from him. I mean really, you would rather our guests share a room with our BABY rather than letting our guests have some privacy and us be able to tend to baby without stirring everyone else? Not that we have guests over a whole lot... but I'm hoping people will be staying with us when he/she gets here.
The only thing I can say, is exactly what I'm doing now. Walk away, let him blow off some steam, you can have some time to catch you breath. Then go back and talk to him about it rationally. Gah! He makes me so crazy sometimes!
DH= DOG HOUSE!
Sorry, I hope that he comes back to reality soon.
Is it rude if I say this reminds me of when Gary bought a video gaming system after finding out Amber was pregnant??
I love MTV reality shows....
But, truly, I think that was wrong of your H to do that. I would be hurt if my H did that to me. A little extra spending cash for boy toys/beer fridges is just fine... if you have that spending cash to blow. But, as you stated, it sounds like you don't. You guys need to sit down and have a serious talk about putting the baby's needs first.
We do this too. We actually have our own checking accounts. Every week we move money from the joint account into our separate accounts. I almost always spend mine before the next deposit but my hubby has been saving his for something big. In fact, last night he brought up a big rubbermaid container of his air force stuff from the basement into the living room and started going through it. I asked him what the heck he was doing and he replied, "selling stuff. i can get a ton of money for this crap!" He then proceeded to explain to me that he needed money so that he can put together a new gun project before the baby comes. I gave him the side eye and asked him to kindly clean the crap up off my living room floor when he was done. lol.
This is exactly what I am dealing with too. Like do they think that their manhood is gone forever. The "man cave" is in our basement and we have a bar and movie style seating and all these beer pictures, etc. I told him that I wanted to create a play area for the baby on one side of the man cave. He freaked out and told me that I was taking EVERYTHING away from him. Grrr! Walk away, just take a break and walk away.... I agree... maybe when the LO is here they will think differently. (or I can just change the babies diaper ontop of the bar).
Yea, I think that if you have the money to have separate spending accounts this is a great idea. The problem right now is that we are living pay check to pay check. I just had to move money over from our savings account to cover for groceries. He has a separate account for his "toys" but the problem is we don't have that luxury right now. I need him to transfer his "toy money" into our checking account so we can buy the basics. I just got a new job so we will be okay in a few months. I told him we need to have a talk and reassess our financial situation.