April 2011 Moms
oandmplus1
member
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Sometimes i feel so defeated
oandmplus1
member
Let me start out by saying that DD is such a wonderful baby, and so so sweet. She has been the best thing to ever happen to me and DH. I have mentioned this in other posts, but at 1 week old we discovered she had a cataract. At 1 month, she had surgery to have it removed because otherwise she couldnt see out of that eye. At 2 months she had a second surgery to repair scarring and a cyst in that eye. She then needed a contact and glasses to see, but still her vision still isnt great. We are already on the third prescription of her contact. Her eyes arent straight anymore, which may requure more surgery when she is older. Eventually she will need another surgery for a permanent lens and then have to wear bifocals for the rest of her life. Now we just found out that the same eye is smaller than the other, so despite all this she may never have good vision in that eye. It seems like such a silly thing to be upset about. She is otherwise healthy and happy afterall. I just cant help but be scared to death that this is affecting her in other ways. I cant help but compare her to other kids her age and i can see that she isnt really interested in toys because she has a hard time seeing them, and she only smiles when we get real close to her face like other kids seem to. The pedi mentioned babies learn to do things, like eat, by watching us, so i worry about how to teach her things if she cant see well. Sorry this is so long. I just needed to vent.
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Re: Sometimes i feel so defeated
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
First of all, I just wanted to send some positive thoughts your way and let you know I think you're doing a great job. Secondly, I think it is perfectly normal for feel the way you are about this situation. We only want the best for our children and it is difficult when they have an issue that can't be easily resolved. It is frustrating as a parent when you feel like you can't make things better for your child, but it is obvious that you are doing whatever you can to help her situation. You are being a wonderful mother just by trying to help her and she will recognize that one day.
Obviously I have no in depth medical education, just some A&P courses and a sociology minor in college, but I think that she will learn to adapt to this as she grows up. Since she has had this issue from birth, she will find new ways to learn the important life skills. Her other senses very well may become stronger and she may be more perceptive in other ways than sight. I think any person that can't use one of their senses finds a way to learn/do the things they need to do in another manner. As for learning things by watching, she can still see you even if it isn't as clearly as others see, correct? I think she'll be able to use that paired with better listening skills and will pick up on the necessary life/social learning skills that she needs while growing up.
I'm sure it won't always be an easy road for the two of you, but I think with your love and dedication to her, she'll even out just fine with other children her age. Please don't be too hard on yourself, I still think you're doing a great job!
Oh honey - things WILL work out. They just do. I know you are probably SO SO stressed with everything - and I would be too. We all want our babies to be.. perfect, you know? But the thing is- your baby already IS PERFECT. Just the way God made her (not sure your religion, but I have to say that, bc I believe it for every child!).
She will adapt, as any baby with a little setback like that. I read a blog w/a mom with a toddler who just had to get hearing aids, and while she was upset, she knows that somehow God will USE this in her future, in a positive way. (again, sorry for the religious speak..) Just stay positive and love on your perfect little baby!
It's really hard when you would do anything for your baby and in this situation you can't. She is lucky to have such caring, loving parents on her side.
I actually work as a special ed preschool teacher and I've worked with three children with vision problems over the past two years. One was nearly blind, one was legally blind and could only see about one to two feet ahead and the third was also legally blind with some other vision problems. If I did not tell a person who walked in to my classroom about their vision problems, the person could never tell. These kids did not know any other way and they had adapted. They could write, were learning letters and you should have seen them on the climbing structures outside. It was amazing.
Thinking of you and your LO!