ET = NOT a good experience for us

limpetfan · August 2011

I spent most of yesterday in tears!

Our ET was yesterday morning, and it was not what we were expecting at all. Something about my uterus being retroverted made me need to drink over 40 ozs. of water before they'd do the transfer, so we had to sit for almost an hour waiting for the extra water to hit my bladder (they'd originally told me to drink 24 ozs.). Then the doctor finally comes in... and tells us he thinks our embryos are crappy and unlikely to make it! Granted, the grades aren't ideal from what I can figure out -- we transferred one 1BB blast and one 1BC blast -- but he gave NO hope to us at all. He also said he doubts we'll have anything good enough to freeze. It was devastating.

Anybody know anything about embryo grading? I know both of those might have just been very early blasts, and they might have looked better if they'd checked them again a few hours later... but the doctor didn't tell us that, I got it from Gooogle :-(

Anyway, I guess I just had to vent that all somewhere, so if you got through it, thanks for reading!

megmacp · August 2011

I'm so sorry. I will continue to hope that maybe your RE just got it wrong. Fingers crossed for you!

lynn0926 · August 2011

I don't know know anything about grading. I just want to wish you GL! I hope your lil embryos are fighters, snuggle in, and prove your doctor wrong!

katib77 · August 2011

I'm so sorry your doctor sounds um-sympathizing and uninformative. That kind of thing is emotionally charged as it is, and to not give you every ounce of information or to not put it gently is bad bed side manner. I hope he's wrong - and these little embies are fighters and hold on tight! Good luck!

missjul61 · August 2011

I think that was very crappy of your Dr to say. Im sorry he gave you no hope. As far as grading goes, there isn't a standard scale and each clinic may grade differently. If you really want to know, ask if you can speak to the embryologist to explain their grading to you in detail. However at this point since you've already had transfer, I'd let it be so you dont obsess over it during the 2ww. Best of luck!

BR · August 2011

I'm so sorry. A girl from work was told the same thing- crappy embryo, nothing left to freeze. She just found out she is pregnant. I, on the other hand, was told I had a perfect embryo and my RE was very hopeful...it was a bust. So, you just never know. Keep up hope and try not to stress about it. Good luck!

ELF4321 · August 2011

I hate your doctor right now.

I'm really sorry things went so badly yesterday, but BB and BC are NOT awful and there is still plenty of hope that at least one of them will snuggle in and grow now that they are in a more natural environment. I bet if you post on the PAIF and SAIF boards you could find some ladies who had success with a BB, BC, or even lower grade. Try to ignore what the doc said and give your embies the best possible home to settle into. Here is some info about Day 5 grading: https://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystimages.htm

Sending positive vibes your way. And I'm mentally kicking your RE in the shin too.

limpetfan · August 2011

ELF4321:
I hate your doctor right now.

I'm really sorry things went so badly yesterday, but BB and BC are NOT awful and there is still plenty of hope that at least one of them will snuggle in and grow now that they are in a more natural environment. I bet if you post on the PAIF and SAIF boards you could find some ladies who had success with a BB, BC, or even lower grade. Try to ignore what the doc said and give your embies the best possible home to settle into. Here is some info about Day 5 grading: https://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystimages.htm

Sending positive vibes your way. And I'm mentally kicking your RE in the shin too.

You made me smile I don't like this doctor either - he's the only one in the practice I don't care for at all. He's the same one who said it looked like I had a hydrosalpinx when I did NOT. Angry

Aegis2005 · August 2011

I'm sorry your ET experience was crappy. Sending T&P's your way that your RE is wrong and those embies are snuggling in.

Trish11278 · August 2011

I am so sorry you had a bad experience with the ET. I really hope the RE is wrong. Try to hold out hope!

Mitzi Bishi · August 2011

Try not to lose all hope. As others have said not everything can be figured out by the doctors and it's entirely possible you're still in this. Sorry that you had such a rough experience. I know how getting the crappy ET doctor just stinks... I had the same thing happen and he didn't answer any questions and pretty much breezed through saying 'have a great weekend'.

Wishing you the best!

Kathy4678 · August 2011

ELF4321:

I hate your doctor right now.

I'm really sorry things went so badly yesterday, but BB and BC are NOT awful and there is still plenty of hope that at least one of them will snuggle in and grow now that they are in a more natural environment. I bet if you post on the PAIF and SAIF boards you could find some ladies who had success with a BB, BC, or even lower grade. Try to ignore what the doc said and give your embies the best possible home to settle into. Here is some info about Day 5 grading: https://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystimages.htm

Sending positive vibes your way. And I'm mentally kicking your RE in the shin too.

This!! Throw in a kick from me too.

kellyrn9956 · August 2011

I don't have any advice about grading, but ((hugs)).

Forget the shins - give your doctor a swift kick in the balls for all of us.

weareteame · August 2011

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. That doctor sounds absolutely awful. I'm no expert, but from what I've heard/seen in the past, it doesn't sound like those grades are bad at all. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!

ccam · August 2011

I don't have any advice but I'm sorry about the bad experience. Your doctor doesn't sound very sympathetic! Wishing you good luck!

pulga131 · August 2011

limpetfan:
ELF4321:
I hate your doctor right now.

I'm really sorry things went so badly yesterday, but BB and BC are NOT awful and there is still plenty of hope that at least one of them will snuggle in and grow now that they are in a more natural environment. I bet if you post on the PAIF and SAIF boards you could find some ladies who had success with a BB, BC, or even lower grade. Try to ignore what the doc said and give your embies the best possible home to settle into. Here is some info about Day 5 grading: https://www.advancedfertility.com/blastocystimages.htm

Sending positive vibes your way. And I'm mentally kicking your RE in the shin too.
You made me smile I don't like this doctor either - he's the only one in the practice I don't care for at all. He's the same one who said it looked like I had a hydrosalpinx when I did NOT.

See then he's been wrong before! I don't have any advice to give you on this but I hate that your dr was a major a$$! T's and P's that one of those embies will snuggle in and that you can prove him wrong! What a jerk hole!!!

blueberries8 · August 2011

I am so sorry things went poorly:( (((hugs))) I hope it is okay to share someone else's story, but pennylanehd from the IF board was told that her embryos were really poor quality from her first IVF and her cycle succeeded! I would still have hope, but I know it still must be super difficult to hear that negativity.

Mrs.McIrish · August 2011

I am very sorry to read your post. I know EXACTLY how you feel as I had the same experience (minus the water drinking) last Friday. My 2 embies (that's all we had) graded the poorest on the scale for fragmentation and symmetry. All I can say is you never know. Ladies with beautiful embies get BFN and sometimes the crappy embies make it. I don't know why etc. I just know how you feel. I was basically catatonic last Friday. Big hugs:-)

NMscubagirl · August 2011

I am so very sorry that you are going through this! I hate doctors who behave that way. Although I have no personal experience, I have seen success stories from those who were given no hope. Lots of T&Ps to you. ((hugs))

ukcats27 · August 2011

I'm so sorry you had a bad experience.

limpetfan · August 2011

I just want to say thank you to all the ladies who responded. You're all an amazing support system, and have made me feel at least a tiny bit more hopeful than when I woke up this morning.

farmerlynda · August 2011

kellyrn9956:
I don't have any advice about grading, but ((hugs)).

Forget the shins - give your doctor a swift kick in the balls for all of us.

This is EXACTLY what I thought. Go for the good stuff!

I hope that your little embies prove your d!ck of a doc wrong. Sorry the experience was so rough... but know that we're all rooting for you!

sbrowns08 · August 2011

I'm so sorry that you had a bad experience. Just remember that your embies were growing stronger by the minute as you transferred, and now they are exactly where they need to be to continue growing. I'm sad that your Doctor didn't give you much hope. I think that a huge part of being an RE is helping patients remain hopeful and optimistic during a very difficult time. ((hugs))

hootie123 · August 2011

I am so sorry - but I am glad the embies are back where they belong and am wishing for the best outcome for you!!! (((hugs)))

michdib99 · August 2011

Sorry your Doc is a dauchecanoe. T&Ps to you and hope the little embies are snuggling in tight.

mandalinn25 · August 2011

Your doctor needs a good old throat punch. Why would he even say crap like that? Ugh. Hugs hugs to you.....here's hoping you can prove him wrong.

renee3n2008 · August 2011

I'm sorry sweetie! Praying they are your sticky babies. ((hugs))

STL34 · August 2011

I'm sorry things didn't go well today. That had to be really difficult. I have to have more water in my bladder when ETs are done than they told me. Fortunately for me (I guess), for IVF #1, they used a catheter to put the extra water there so I didn't have to drink water and wait. For IVF #2, I made sure to drink extra. Unfortunately, they were running behind and my bladder felt like it was going to burst!

I don't know much about embryo grading, but my RE doesn't like to do transfers until the blasts are expanded. Could that be why they weren't hopeful about them?

I remember magnolia_femme was told her embryos were really bad. She wasn't given hope from her RE and now she is PG with twins. So, it can happend.

Sending lots of positive vibes and T&Ps your way, hon!

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