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Toddlers: 24 Months+
sherpa
member
My kid seems much smarter than his classmates
sherpa
member
I know I sound like one of those nut job parents that is convinced their kid is gifted but when we went this week to Meet the Teacher we also got to meet the classmates and I became concerned if I was putting him in the best environment for his development. DS is one of the younger and smaller kids in the class and obviously I didn't get to sit down with each kid and evaluate them but just 40 minutes of observing these 16 kids I could tell that DS was different. I'm not proud (well I am a little bit), I'm more nervous than anything. I want him to be challenged but on the same hand I don't want him to become frustrated.
Everything in the class seemed remedial to what he usually plays with at home, most of his toys are for ages 3+, he is 25 months, and the toys in there were things he lost interest in when he was 18 months. He apparently has a huge vocabulary - I didn't notice it was unusual until I was in that class and noticed that the other kids are barely making sentences. DS can carry a conversation and asks questions that I guess are more on a 3-4 year old level of communication (e.g. "Abby is on vacation with Grandpa, I want to go on vacation with Grandpa to the beach house. How will we get there?")
So I don't know if I should find another school for him or if I should speak with the director about putting him in an older class or if I should just keep my mouth shut and let him play at school and get his developmental challenges at home. I don't want to go in there and look like a conceited d-bag. His social skills are also apparently advanced, he is reasonable, he shares easily, he wants to help others. WDYT, honestly, you won't hurt my feelings if you tell me I'm a d-bag. 
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Re: My kid seems much smarter than his classmates
my advice as a former, very bright, but youngest kid in the class, let him be and work on some of his social skills. I was brighter than many of my classmates, but so shy that its taken me years and years to overcome. DD has also ended up being a December baby and also pretty bright - I am so happy that she will have a little bit of extra time and I think in the end it will serve her well help her become a leader.
I'm not worried about her being bored, school at this age is about play, not about academic/intellectual challenges. You can keep her engaged in many different ways.
I agree with ppers. Although I am no teacher, my brother was similar to your son it sounds like. He was reading at an extremely young age, like 3 years old. He was extremely advanced in most subjects all the way into his teen years. However, I think sometimes kids like that start to feel that they are different early on and it can effect their social skills and their perception themselves and of others. I agree that you should let him develop and play at this age and engage him in a lot of extra activities at home to keep him challenged but don't start pushing him or making special accommodations for him just yet.
My brother ended up being ahead in school, but as he got older he felt more isolated I think because of his intelligence and it didn't serve him well in his teenage years. He was put into special advanced classes and even tutored by teachers at the college level. He had the intelligence, but dealing with the high expectations and feeling so different from others made him lose motivation to really do anything with it. I know not everyone is this way, but I think parent's first inclination is to just take their kid's intelligence and place a ton of importance on expanding it and I don't think that is always the best way to approach an advanced child, especially early on.
Not all Reggio schools are like this. My son goes to a Reggio school and they are in classes based on age.
Saying that he was in a 2 year old class last year, and he turned 3 in February. Some of the kids in his class weren't turning 2 until January, making him almost a year older than some of the kids, most of them actually. I was not happy, and worried it would hold him back (he too has always been very, very verbal and seemed 'advanced' to us). We decided to see how he would do and honestly he did fantastic, and the year was great. This year he is back at the school and in a 3 year old class where he is right in the middle age wise and I think he will do great in this class structure as well.
See how it goes before you do anything. And like you said you can't judge 16 kids based on 40 minutes.
I think you should give it some time and see how he feels in the classroom/with the other kids. Kids are all over the place at this age. I have a friend whose DD started speaking in full sentences at 14 months. Said friend made lots of snotty remarks about my DD being "speech delayed" (she wasn't). Fast forward to a year later and my DD was fully potty-trained, happy to play well independently for long stretches of time and really outgoing with her peers, 3 issues that said friend constantly complained about with her own DD and that she is still working on with her now, at age 3. I don't think being "advanced" in one area is necessarily indicative of being advanced all around. Kids develop at different paces and any educator with experience knows that not all 2-year-olds or 3-year-olds are the same.
I'm going on about 3 hours of sleep today, so I hope what I just typed makes sense.
I think it is probably still a good placement. There is a big range of "typical" at this age and the other kids will likely start talking more as the year progresses. He will be a good influence on them
He will, at the very least, be learning about sharing, procedures, routines, following directions, etc. etc. etc. Unless you are questioning the teachers/staff, I would stay there.
I do understand your concerns though. My son will be 3 at the end of October and he is starting to read, spell, add, etc. He is basically kindergarten level according to the district I was working in before I went out on leave. I cannot wait for him to start preschool in 3 weeks to move his focus (he is a little abc/123 obsessed) to playing/socializing/etc. in a school-setting.
This is fantastic advice. My DD#1 is advanced cognitively for her age and b/c of her bday was the oldest in her class. She turned 3 about the same time some turned 2 and I was nervous. By the end of the year, a little of my secret smugness, all of my worries had gone. The smugness because in a year or so the gap really tightens up, and while she is bright and kind and polite, she learned ALOT (and still has a lot to go!) in her class- about socialization and just learning to be a member of a group outside the family. Nursery rhymes and circle time... You may be surprised. But to be completely honest, I think a lot more depends on the teacher and assistant what your LO will get out of it than the other kids. I hit the jackpot and got the best of the best. I wasn't going to send my twins this year because they are so young but the lady is quite possibly the best teacher they will be lucky enough to learn from for some time..
How do you feel about the teacher?
That is amazing!! DD is 3.5 months younger than yours and I highly doubt she'll be at that level by then. She's just learning to string two words together.
This was/is my kiddo too. At home he is non-stop chattering but his social skills leave something to be desired. I sometimes think other moms think that he is behind. Which he def isn't. He is just shy and sensitive at first, hates to be greated excitidly etc. I wouldn't be to judgy at first
DS is the same way--he is ahead of his group of kids with his educational skills BUT socially, he is exactly where he needs to be. At 2, we had him spend time in the 4 year old room. When the 4 year olds were ready to move from Art to Science, DS would have a temper tantrum in the middle of the floor!
We decided to encourage his intellectual growth at home with additional education, but now at 3, his social and emotional growth is at the same level as other 3 year olds. He's still ahead of his class, but he also has additional outlets (Church and now Sports) which helps him socialize with others.
All very good advice, ladies! Thanks so much! I think I will give it some time for now. I was thinking I would move him to a Montessori school when he turns 2.5 so he could go two days a week (I want to be able to spend some quality time with the baby when he/she arrives).
I'm not sure what I think of the teacher yet, both her and the assistant seem a little weak to me but I didn't get to speak to either of them for more than 5 minutes.The program director really sold the school to me, loved her and she spoke highly of this particular teacher (she put her grandson in this class as well). So, we'll see.
Thanks again!!
No offense but you are pretty quick to judge both the kids and the teachers. You said there were 16 kids and you were there for 40 minutes, so you really have no way of knowing where they are intellectually or socially. And if you spent 5 minutes with each teacher you really can't tell if they are 'weak' or not. You need to go into it with more of an open mind and you may be pleasantly surprised, but it seems as if you are going into it with the attitude that your son is so much better than the kids and that the teachers won't even be able to do a good job. It isn't a good way to start off the year.