Appropriate funeral attire for a toddler?

Abinormal · August 2011

My grandmother is 90 years old and has advanced Alzheimers and dementia. Yesterday, she suffered a massive stroke and has had several mini strokes in the past 24 hours. As of today, she's in a very deep sleep and, according to hospice, is showing signs of being close to passing on. They are relatively certain that she won't make it through the night. My family is actually at the point where they're just hoping that my grandma will go quietly and easily during the evening.

Anyway, all of this has me (being a planner by nature) planning our inevitable trip to attend my grandmother's funeral. Today, I was looking through DD's closet and, in my opinion, she doesn't have a dress that's appropriate for a funeral. My DH disagrees and says that since she's a baby, it doesn't matter what she wears to the funeral. What do y'all think is appropriate funeral attire for a baby?

I know this seems kind of morbid, but I have a ton going on over the next couple of weeks and this weekend will be the only free time that I have to do any sort of shopping. If I'm going to buy Tegan a dress for the funeral, it's going to have to be this weekend, even if the funeral happens later vs sooner.

just_peachy · August 2011

I agree that she is a toddler and maybe a little ray of sunshine (colors) for a somber occasion could be a good thing. Let her wear something sweet and keep it simple.

If you still feel like it should be more traditional, then look for a navy blue dress. No sense dressing a toddler in all black for a funeral...I just don't find it necessary.

ETA: So sorry you are going through this but you know you have my prayers and thoughts. (HUGS)

emiliemadison · August 2011

First, I'm so sorry to hear that your Grandma is not expected to be with you much longer. I hope her passing is peaceful

As for attire for Tegan, I completely agree with your husband. Very young children and babies do not need to be dressed in "funeral attire", and should instead just wear something comfortable and nice looking. I would probably stick with solid colors if you can, preferably a dress, but it doesnt have to be somber. Babies are often seen as a ray of sunshine at an otherwise sad occasion, and people enjoy seeing them as they are meant to look-happy and bright.

Abinormal · August 2011

fredalina:

I think anything dressy regardless of color is fine for a toddler, but if you want to buy something, maybe get something like this:

https://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/toddler_girls/dresses_rompers/dressy/PRD~829102/Rare+Editions+Floral+Dot+Woven+Dress++Toddler.jsp

Or this:

https://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/toddler_girls/dresses_rompers/dressy/PRD~829103/Rare+Editions+Floral+Woven+Dress++Toddler.jsp

These are both beautiful dresses, but unfortunately are too big for Tegan. She's in an 18 month dress size right now... 24 month would be alright, but I think she'd be swimming in a 2T.

Here's the thing, she has some dresses, but they're all cotton, summer dresses, nothing as fancy as the ones you've posted. I guess my question now is:

Does she need a fancier dress like the ones above? (a dress similar to these two is what I planned on getting her, but DH disagrees with the necessity)

hikerbeth · August 2011

Honestly, I don't think it matters.

DD went to 3 funerals as a toddler. She wore the same plaid jumper for 2 of them (it was black/white with a little red) and a navy blue sundress for the third (it was in the middle of the summer).

spring_time · August 2011

So sorry to hear about your grandmother. We lost my grandma last year under the same conditions and it is very difficult to lose a loved one.

I agree with your DH, babies and toddlers are exempt from funeral attire. I would dress her in clothes that she would wear to church. The color does not matter on a baby.

Sara Scissors · August 2011

I have a boy, not a girl, but he's just worn a polo and khaki pants. 2 of my husband's grandparents, an aunt of his and an aunt and grandmother of mine all passed away within a couple months at the start of this year. It was a horribly depressing time for our families, but we got countless comments about how nice it was to have DS there during such a sad time. He made so many people smile just by being a carefree toddler. It did not matter in the least what he was wearing.

LurkieLoo · August 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Like Sara, I have a boy and he just wore khakis and a long sleeve button down shirt and a tie to my husband's nana's funeral. My nephew wore something similar. I would probably get her something a little nicer than a cotton dress for it- if it were me, I'd rather her be overdressed than underdressed for a funeral. Maybe you can get soemthing that you can reuse for Christmas? I know she might grow a lot between now and then but it might be an option.

https://oldnavy.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=54055&vid=1&pid=857730&scid=857730002 This is cute

https://www.carters.com/carters/Sparkly-Polka-Dot-Dress-Set/VM_121A216,default,pd.html?cgid=carters-baby-girl-dresses This is also cute and not black if you wanted to avoid that for a toddler.

https://www.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=6436&vid=1&pid=852416 This curdoroy dress is cute and a bit more casual so its something she could definitely wear again yet its not a cottony dress so I think it would be appropriate for a funeral

llc730 · August 2011

I am sorry that you are going through this. I am an RN at a nursing home and have seen that exact progression many times. Many families reach the point that your family is at. I pray for peace for your grandma and your family.

As far as clothes for Teegan. I don't think black or navy is necessary. Just something simple and nice.

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