Attachment Parenting

When can children realistically be expected to STTN consistently?

Just wondering. DS has STTN (by my definition - sleeping straight through past 5am) three times in his life. I bring him to bed with me after his first waking, and DH is left alone (DS's noises keep him awake if they are in the same room), so he's anxious for him to start STTN regularly. At what age do you think this is a realistic expectation?
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Re: When can children realistically be expected to STTN consistently?

  • Honestly, I think it is so different for every kid.  DS didn't sttn until he was a bit over 2, after he had fully weaned from nursing.  And there are times he still wakes up now.  The past week he has been waking up at 1 am about every other day..and I have no idea why! 

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  • imagefredalina:

     (Which, for the record, so do I). 

    I like this, because I think kids and adults all have different "sleep" personalities.  DH falls asleep within 2 seconds of laying down and is out...and I mean out.  He can sleep through anything, and I have the stories to prove it!  On the other hand, some nights it takes me 30 minutes or more to fall asleep and there are nights I wake up a bunch of times.  I am a light sleeper and toss and turn all night.  I hate it..I wish I was more like DH!

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  • 6-ish months.  I have a feeling you'll get drastically different answers on this board than others.
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  • From people I've known personally, most seemed to have some sorta of decent sleep schedule by the six month mark.  But not everyone, and every child is most certainly different.

    Ours started sleeping through the night (not every night, but about half of the nights) at around a month old.  And we also did NOT use any form of sleep training. Just pure luck.  And maybe also related to the fact that I had to give formula, which from my understanding takes longer to digest.

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  • Along the lines of different sleep personalities- DD and I are the same. She started STTN quite early (4 or 5 months) without any kind of training or intervention, but it was always hard and still is to actually get her to sleep. I nursed her to sleep until she was 18 months old and even now, I have to cajole her and read about 80 books and give her another snack and tuck her in 3 times and bring her favorite doll from the living room to her bed and etc. etc. etc. for her to settle down and fall asleep. But once she's out, she is out for a good 12-14 hours straight and not even airplanes flying over our house (flight patterns change on weekends and this happens) will wake her up.

    It's also ridiculously hard for me to recognize when I'm tired and I will gladly stay in front of the computer or in bed reading a book until the wee hours of the night. But once I fall asleep, I am also out for the long haul. I have to set an alarm in the morning to get both me and DD up for preschool/summer camp.

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  • imagefredalina:

    I totally think it varies by kid, too.  Some kids STTN at like 6 or 8 weeks old without any kind of "training" or intervention.  Others wake every couple of hours for a year or more. 


    It's true. My daughter started STTN (6 hour stretches) somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks. I slept through the night at an early age. My brother, on the other hand, didn't sleep through the night till he was about two.

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  • This varies by culture.  Some cultures don't expect ANYONE to ever sleep entirely through the night - even as an adult.  Some expect it from kids when they are older (5, 6, or 7).  And some (like ours) expect it when the kid is three months old.

    From an evolutionary perspective, I wouldn't expect a young child, who is dependent upon a parent to keep him/her from harm were a predator (think lion, tiger, or bear - oh my! :P) to approach, to necessarily sleep through the night.

    Of course, I have a crappy sleeper myself. :)  I don't expect DD to sleep through the night at least until she's potty trained (and I only define sleeping through the night as 6 hours straight!).

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  • I think the answers you will get will vary greatly depending on what that person considers sleeping through the night. My pediatrician said she considered STTN if it was at least 6 hours. Most of my friends consider STTN if they go to sleep and don't wake up until it is time to "get up" for the day.
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  • I think about a year. I do think it's different for every kid, but by a year, I think most kids are physically able to sleep 12 hours without any intervention from a parent.

    though I'd like the answer to be 7 months right about now :)

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  • imageMartiza:
    I think the answers you will get will vary greatly depending on what that person considers sleeping through the night. My pediatrician said she considered STTN if it was at least 6 hours. Most of my friends consider STTN if they go to sleep and don't wake up until it is time to "get up" for the day.

    Also true. Caroline STTN (by the medical definition of 5-6 hours) around 4 weeks and has pretty much since then. BUT her 5 hours are 7-12, then she's up every 1-2 after that, so no, I don't think she's STTN. When she's sleeping 7-7, talk to me again.

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  • Every child is different, but my DS started STTN at 4 1/2 months.  We did Ferberize him though.  We had no choice...he was waking every 30-45 minutes and we were not sleeping at all!  We waited until 4 1/2 months and couldn't do it any longer, so our pedi suggested the Ferber methold, and it worked wonders.  He sleeps now from around 7:30pm-6:30isham.   
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  • I think every child is different. Some can do it at birth, or 3 months old, or 3 years old.

    Have you tried anything to change your child's sleep patterns? At 1, I started replacing my DS's middle of the night feedings with water, and he dropped them. He does have sleep regressions occasionally from teething/cognitive growth, but for the most part he's a great sleeper.

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  • imageMartiza:
    I think the answers you will get will vary greatly depending on what that person considers sleeping through the night. My pediatrician said she considered STTN if it was at least 6 hours. Most of my friends consider STTN if they go to sleep and don't wake up until it is time to "get up" for the day.

    So true.  M STTN (medical definition) at 4 mos I think, but his was 7p-1a and then he was up every 2 hours and did this until he was 14-15 mos. old.  Even then it wasn't consistent.  C STTN (my definition) 9p-6a at 4 weeks and has consistently since.  In the past month I've still gotten up with M more than C at night.

    M's a sensitive kid and gas, tummy issues, teething, congestion, new places, travel etc. keep him from sleeping.  Right now C's teething and will burp/fart without waking up or needing my help to go back to sleep.  I really didn't do anything different but have two very different sleepers and any expectations I've had about sleep were thrown out the window :-)


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  • In the NCSS, the author says that 1 night waking is normal up until 2 years.
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  • Also, while I'm thinking about it, one thing I find interesting with Ferber is that his guidelines for necessary amounts of nighttime sleep are shorter than what many people expect.  https://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site989/mainpageS989P0.html

    He says 11.75 hours of  sleep in 24 hours at 1 year (9.75 at night, 2 day) when many parents expect something like 12 hrs at night plus 2-3 per day.  His ranges for these numbers in the book are also very narrow IIRC, like +/- .75 hrs.  It seems very few people read, or take this chapter as seriously as they take the CIO one, though in the CIO chapter I'm pretty sure he first recommends looking at scheduling and sleep needs first.  


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  • It is very different for each child.  DD1 was about 11 months old.  DD2 didn't really STTN until she was 3ish but there were medical issues complicating things. And DD3 is such a light sleeper that even at (nearly) 5 she still wakes up a few times at night. 

    Of course once they're not babies, they usually don't need attention when they wake up. 

    .
  • imageWyoGal:

    Also, while I'm thinking about it, one thing I find interesting with Ferber is that his guidelines for necessary amounts of nighttime sleep are shorter than what many people expect.  https://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site989/mainpageS989P0.html

    He says 11.75 hours of  sleep in 24 hours at 1 year (9.75 at night, 2 day) when many parents expect something like 12 hrs at night plus 2-3 per day.  His ranges for these numbers in the book are also very narrow IIRC, like +/- .75 hrs.  It seems very few people read, or take this chapter as seriously as they take the CIO one, though in the CIO chapter I'm pretty sure he first recommends looking at scheduling and sleep needs first.  


    Interesting.

    Something that I dont understand about sleep training is why its recommended @ 6 months. At that point, both of my kids had a regression in sleep as their first teeth started coming in.

    Maybe it's just me, but I certainly dont mind giving my kids a 2oz bottle and some snuggles a few times a night if it comforts them for something as uncomfortable as teething. I dont necessarily disagree with sleep training, but I cant fathom doing it that age.

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  • imageMeg&Jesse:
    imagefredalina:

     (Which, for the record, so do I). 

    I like this, because I think kids and adults all have different "sleep" personalities.  DH falls asleep within 2 seconds of laying down and is out...and I mean out.  He can sleep through anything, and I have the stories to prove it!  On the other hand, some nights it takes me 30 minutes or more to fall asleep and there are nights I wake up a bunch of times.  I am a light sleeper and toss and turn all night.  I hate it..I wish I was more like DH!

    This is my DH and I too.  The entire time I was pregnant with my first I hoped and hoped that he would inherit DH's sleep patterns and not mind......no such luck.  For us teeth seem to bed a major factor in STTN.  DS #1 got his teeth fast and hard and didn't STTN until he was 15 months old, right after the last of his 2 year molars came in.  DS #2 is more like DH and has been STTN more consistenly since he was 9 months old yet if he is working on teeth at all, even before we can see or feel them his sleep going to hell and he's not only up but he has to sleep with us too (normally he can't stand to sleep with anyone).

  • DS was 8 months, but dd was 8 weeks, and for us that meant 11-12 hours. We are very lucky with her, and have done no sleep training with either.
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  • Ari started sleeping 5-7 hours straight at 5 or 6 weeks, but then allergies hit & that all went to hell. I actually think he would be a better sleeper if it hadn't taken us a year to get it all figured out, but maybe not. 

    He started sleeping much better once we figured out all the food allergies at nearly 12 months, & even better still when we night weaned at 14 months. He was sleeping 8-10 hours straight with a quick wake for a potty trip then sleeping till 7:00 a.m. or so until he turned 18ish months. Since then he's been very inconsistent - some nights he sleeps almost straight through, but we usually have at least 1-2 wakings. He's very sensitive about developmental stuff though (so was I), so we've just learned to roll with it since absolutely not a fricking thing fixes it. He'll wake up at like 4:00 a.m. & just start singing his ABCs or whatever. We've been working on getting him to at least not wake us up but that's been slow going.

    I hope our next LO is a better sleeper.  

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  • imageWyoGal:

    Also, while I'm thinking about it, one thing I find interesting with Ferber is that his guidelines for necessary amounts of nighttime sleep are shorter than what many people expect.  https://www.childrenshospital.org/az/Site989/mainpageS989P0.html

    He says 11.75 hours of  sleep in 24 hours at 1 year (9.75 at night, 2 day) when many parents expect something like 12 hrs at night plus 2-3 per day.  His ranges for these numbers in the book are also very narrow IIRC, like +/- .75 hrs.  It seems very few people read, or take this chapter as seriously as they take the CIO one, though in the CIO chapter I'm pretty sure he first recommends looking at scheduling and sleep needs first.  


     

    i posted about this a long time ago on this board, and yeah people then said the same thing, that the Ferber amounts of sleep are lower than every other source.  I have read almost every sleep book out there (ugh, wish i didn't need to!), and that struck me too.  for example, compared to this chart, the ranges are much different.

     my DD is 2.5yrs and wakes about once per night every night and i snuggle and calm her, sometimes she might rustle around a couple other times but goes back to sleep.  like pp said, it depends on your definition.  this works for us.  she is also on the very low end of sleep needs for kids her age, she is just not a very sleepy kid. 

     

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