Pregnant and living with In laws...

lizzyjean24 · August 2011

So I am freaking out b/c my husband and 2 yr. old son and I have been living with my in laws for the past year and 1/2 to save some $$ (which is taking a while), and now I found out that I am pregnant. I just feel like no one is going to be excited and everyone will be thinking crap about us b/c we are not living in our own place (which we cannot afford at the moment) ugh! I'm sure its going to be all in my head, but I cant help feel that way...anyone else living witht their parents or in laws and pregnant?

mommybrynn · August 2011

I only read the title of this post and immediately had heart palpitations... I would be suicidal if I had to live with my MIL... pregnant... with a toddler... oh good God I may have a panic attack thinking about it... GL to you!

henderson1026 · August 2011

we all hit rough patches and a lot of the time it is due to things out of our control. That shouldn't stop you from living your life. Shame on anyone for making you feel bad!

kiarstin · August 2011

They probably wont say anything negative, and you can't help what they think they have valid reasons for any thoughts especially since its another body in their home. We moved in with my hubs grandparents to save for house and we were double duty on BC because I couldnt handle that pressure or burden them either. Try to be positive and maybe you guys need a 2nd job to help move in the right direction for your family.

lraymeremtp · August 2011

This is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but the one I know you're afraid to hear. I do think it's extremely irresponsible of you to get pg again when you are having trouble being able to even afford a home of your own for your family. Adding another child to that situation isn't going to help with those finances. With that being said, no one can tell you how many children, or when to have them, you and your husband decide when is the right time. It's just my opinion that you should have waited.

stephlas8 · August 2011

We are buying a house and may have to stay with them for a few weeks if our current place is rented before we close on the house.

I am dreading it just thinking about it. Can't imagine doing it long term... awful. I hope your financial situation starts looking up and you can get your own place soon. Be proactive!

greengirl0909 · August 2011

lraymeremtp:
This is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but the one I know you're afraid to hear. I do think it's extremely irresponsible of you to get pg again when you are having trouble being able to even afford a home of your own for your family. Adding another child to that situation isn't going to help with those finances. With that being said, no one can tell you how many children, or when to have them, you and your husband decide when is the right time. It's just my opinion that you should have waited.

THIS. Unless we're missing part of the story, it seems you didn't make the most responsible choice.

I am Marla Singer · August 2011

lraymeremtp:
This is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but the one I know you're afraid to hear. I do think it's extremely irresponsible of you to get pg again when you are having trouble being able to even afford a home of your own for your family. Adding another child to that situation isn't going to help with those finances. With that being said, no one can tell you how many children, or when to have them, you and your husband decide when is the right time. It's just my opinion that you should have waited.

my thoughts exactly... Well said.

beachbunni307 · August 2011

lraymeremtp:
This is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but the one I know you're afraid to hear. I do think it's extremely irresponsible of you to get pg again when you are having trouble being able to even afford a home of your own for your family. Adding another child to that situation isn't going to help with those finances. With that being said, no one can tell you how many children, or when to have them, you and your husband decide when is the right time. It's just my opinion that you should have waited.

I have to say, I'm really sorry for this but I agree with the post above. Unless you were actively trying to prevent it and it happened anyway, you have only yourself and your husband to blame for your situation. My best advice would be to suck it up and do what you have to do to get out of there.

salt78 · August 2011

lraymeremtp:
This is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but the one I know you're afraid to hear. I do think it's extremely irresponsible of you to get pg again when you are having trouble being able to even afford a home of your own for your family. Adding another child to that situation isn't going to help with those finances. With that being said, no one can tell you how many children, or when to have them, you and your husband decide when is the right time. It's just my opinion that you should have waited.

I agree with this.

makinithappen · August 2011

Do both of you work? Are you paying down debt or stockpiling savings? I'm guessing the first.....You def should have been more careful in preventing this and need to do something to remedy the situation. Why don't you wander over to the money matters board on the nest and see what advice they have if you really want to do something about it. You have had a year and a half to get out already

ETA: oh wow I really hope you are working now because I was just a creeper and saw an old post of you complaining that your inlaws were nagging for you to get a job while living with them....do y'all pay them any rent, help with food, anything?

makinithappen · August 2011

henderson1026:
we all hit rough patches and a lot of the time it is due to things out of our control. That shouldn't stop you from living your life. Shame on anyone for making you feel bad!

Um, no. If a person is not capable of taking care of theirselves and the children they already have, they should not have more until they are self-sustaining. Not shame on the in-laws for not wanting to physically and financially support another person.

J+E · August 2011

I'm 7 weeks and live with my GMIL and MIL. We haven't told anyone yet, so no ones had the opportunity to say anything negative, however this is our first baby and we will be moving out very soon. I can't justify living with them with a child. It's worked out well up to this point, but we are not in a position where we HAVE to live there any longer. I sympathize with you though. Living with in-laws is not easy. Good luck!

vanillacourage · August 2011

lraymeremtp:
This is going to be an extremely unpopular opinion, but the one I know you're afraid to hear. I do think it's extremely irresponsible of you to get pg again when you are having trouble being able to even afford a home of your own for your family. Adding another child to that situation isn't going to help with those finances. With that being said, no one can tell you how many children, or when to have them, you and your husband decide when is the right time. It's just my opinion that you should have waited.

Agree. Sorry, unless there's some huge backstory I don't blame your inlaws if they aren't thrilled. You got yourself into this situation.

kiarstin · August 2011

AbsoluteLM · August 2011

Why would anybody judge you? I think you are being smart saving money!

I am pregnant with our second and living with my parents in their basement apartment to save money for a house 4 or 5 years down the road. It is a beautiful apartment and we love living here. We pay rent, but not too much, have access to a big yard and pool, and we get to spend time with my amazing parents. Not to mention that grandma and grandpa are the best babysitters! We lived so far away when DS was born that we couldn't do anything and my parents did not get to visit as often as they liked.

If anybody is judging me for moving in with my parents, they can go fly a kite. What matters is that the arrangement works for us and we are loving it. If living with your in-laws works for you, that is all that matters! Good luck!

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