30 Weeks and still no shower....about to throw one myself.

mpotts09 · August 2011

I'm 30 weeks, I started planning my own baby shower a couple months ago, but someone said you shouldn't plan your own. My mom keeps saying she will, but its been 2 months and still nothing....I keep reminding her. I'm about to start doing it all myself. Any way to give her more hints that its getting closer and closer?

cmhicklin · August 2011

I would be sad if no one had thrown me one for my first child, since everyone else gets one. But I wouldn't have done my own. I would wait and do a meet the baby type party.

[Deleted User] · August 2011

I'm sorry, it sounds like your mom and your friends suck.

EastCoastBride · August 2011

Maybe shes trying to make it a surprise? It's ok to be bummed if no one throws one, but showers are a gift, not a right. Not everyone gets one. Throwing your own is rude and tacky.

HappyMrsK · August 2011

She could be trying to make it a surprise or it could be she's turned off because you keep reminding her about it. Maybe there is something going on in her life that she doesn't have the time she thought she would. I don't know.

Maybe try talking to her about how excited you are about the shower and the baby coming and try to pinpoint a specific date to have the shower. You can also ask her if she needs any help with anything.

NewFamily09 · August 2011

Aww, that does sound sad. I would be very sad if no one threw me a shower. That really stinks. It makes me want to throw one for you. The only comfort I can give you is that, even if you don't have a shower, you will still probably get gifts from your family and friends. You just probably won';t get them until after baby arrives. Maybe like a PP said, it's a surprise?

DiademChi · August 2011

cmhicklin:
I would be sad if no one had thrown me one for my first child, since everyone else gets one. But I wouldn't have done my own. I would wait and do a meet the baby type party.

Ditto. It sucks, but it's a real gross faux pas to throw it yourself. You are basically telling friends and family to bring your baby presents. Not cool.

JenJH923 · August 2011

It might still be early. I know it's exciting and everybody waits for that day, but at 30 weeks I still think you have another month or 6 weeks before I would really think I wasn't having one.

moxie9 · August 2011

I didn't realize how expensive or time-consuming it is to throw a shower until I saw all the preparations and work that went into my own. It's really unfortunate if no one throws one for you, and I'm sorry, that sucks. But I would save the resources and energy to get ready for your LO. Honestly, it will be a better use of time and finances (even if neither are an issue for you).

ETA: My future MIL and SIL threw my shower, but they didn't really get to planning/talking about it until a couple weeks beforehand--maybe that could be the case for you? Idk

dragon_chica · August 2011

You do realize that if you did decide to be tacky and throw your own shower that money you spent could've been used to actually buy the things you need? Unless you're doing $5 pizza and beer the money spent on a shower tends to be way more than how much a MTB gets in gifts.

BallSox · August 2011

I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.

But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

weddingbells2010 · August 2011

BallSox:
I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.
But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

THIS. I think Ballsox and I are the only realistic ones left on this board.... YOU DO NOT THROW YOURSELF YOUR OWN SHOWER. Tacky and rude to ask for gifts, which is exactly what a shower is. Sorry that no one has offered or stepped up, it does suck... but it doesn't warrant being tacky.

rhubarb123 · August 2011

Just be patient and see if someone ends up throwing you one. If your mom said she would then see if she follows through with it. If no one does...use your plans that you started to throw a "meet/welcome baby party" after your LO has arrived. It is never OK to host your own shower (baby or bridal).

PunkyBooster · August 2011

BallSox:
I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.
But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

This.

But seriously, the bulk of our gifts came AFTER the baby was born. And I had 2 showers plus one for work. He got triple the amount of gifts after birth than the 3 showers combined. Just wait!

mpotts09 · August 2011

Nevermind!!! She was already planning it! I told her I would help her out though. & I wouldn't be rude and ask them for gifts, I was just excited to have a shower, it's just kinda last minute I guess lol Thanks!

Liz4444 · August 2011

weddingbells2010:
BallSox:

I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.

But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

THIS. I think Ballsox and I are the only realistic ones left on this board.... YOU DO NOT THROW YOURSELF YOUR OWN SHOWER. Tacky and rude to ask for gifts, which is exactly what a shower is. Sorry that no one has offered or stepped up, it does suck... but it doesn't warrant being tacky.

Tongue Tied have I become tacky and didn't know it?

weddingbells2010 · August 2011

Liz4444:
weddingbells2010:
BallSox:

I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.

But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

THIS. I think Ballsox and I are the only realistic ones left on this board.... YOU DO NOT THROW YOURSELF YOUR OWN SHOWER. Tacky and rude to ask for gifts, which is exactly what a shower is. Sorry that no one has offered or stepped up, it does suck... but it doesn't warrant being tacky.

have I become tacky and didn't know it?

Oh no, dear Liz! I meant you as well I didn't see you on the thread. Now I'm tacky for offending someone

Liz4444 · August 2011

weddingbells2010:
Liz4444:
weddingbells2010:
BallSox:

I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.

But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

THIS. I think Ballsox and I are the only realistic ones left on this board.... YOU DO NOT THROW YOURSELF YOUR OWN SHOWER. Tacky and rude to ask for gifts, which is exactly what a shower is. Sorry that no one has offered or stepped up, it does suck... but it doesn't warrant being tacky.

have I become tacky and didn't know it?

Oh no, dear Liz! I meant you as well I didn't see you on the thread. Now I'm tacky for offending someone

You, my dear, will never be tacky! I was just too tired to attack this poor, dead horse again and knew that you guys would be the voice of reason for me as well.

apeydawn214 · August 2011

mpotts09:
Nevermind!!! She was already planning it! I told her I would help her out though. & I wouldn't be rude and ask them for gifts, I was just excited to have a shower, it's just kinda last minute I guess lol Thanks!

I'm glad you're having a shower! I had a similar issue with my family. There was a miscommunication between about 4 people wanting to throw my shower. They were all not wanting to step on each other and was waiting for someone else to say something.

I finally mentioned to DH that I was just going to have a "Meet the Baby" event after DD arrives. He mentioned that to my MIL who then decided to start working on shower plans.

kelle017 · August 2011

BallSox:

I've said it before, but I'll say it again... If no one stepped up to offer/ask about your lack of shower, why would you feel ok inviting them to one you're throwing yourself? Cut out the middleman, take that $300 you'd have spent and go buy your own diapers and nipple cream.

But be sure to make yourself buy a book to enter in your own optional raffle.

Ha. Everything about this....

srs5624 · August 2011

mpotts09:
Nevermind!!! She was already planning it! I told her I would help her out though. & I wouldn't be rude and ask them for gifts, I was just excited to have a shower, it's just kinda last minute I guess lol Thanks!

I'm glad you're getting your shower.

Etiquette lesson...

Throwing your own shower is the same thing as asking for gifts. And yes, it's rude.

A baby shower is considered a gift. Therefore, asking someone to throw you a shower is asking for a gift. See above.

Amy 2010 · August 2011

I'm 32 weeks and still no shower

I think this upsets me even more as last fall I threw my sister a baby shower, which was a huge financial commitment for me but now she says she is to busy with her baby (now 7 months old).

And friends are assuming that she will eventually get around to doing it so they are therefore waiting on her.

Thinkerbelle80 · August 2011

I would be so sad if this happened to me. I would throw myself the baby shower anyway or maybe I would ask a close friend or relative if they would throw me a baby shower. Who cares about etiquette YOu only get one chance to have that shower so I would just throw it myself. if you do care about etiquette, you can make it a fun party and tell people gifts are not required if you want.

SeptemberBride'08 · August 2011

I don't think people who are sad about not having a shower or wanting to have some kind of pre-baby celebration are concerned about gifts. I think it's more of the celebration with friends and family about the upcoming baby.

courtneyklv · August 2011

I say go for it! Or have people come see the baby after.

I don't think this is about getting gifts or registering, but sharing this special time with people that care about you. We throw our own weddings and birthday bashes, so why not a shower. Hope it all works out for you!

courtneyklv · August 2011

You can say 'no gift's and make it known..and I am sure some friends still may get you something..but that way you don't sound like that is all you are after.

30 Weeks and still no shower....about to throw one myself.

Re: 30 Weeks and still no shower....about to throw one myself.

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