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3rd Trimester
CA2006
member
Epi, Natural, Drugs, Stork Delivery...
CA2006
member
Whatever you choose, it's your decision and yours alone. This isn't a "let's all just get along" post (b/c let's face it, that would be totally boring). But can't we all acknowledge that it's a personal decision and not go throwing around scare tactics either way? Yes, we all know there is a needle involved to insert an epi. We also know that you *may* be at risk for more intervientions if you choose an epi. We all know that going natural involves no risk of the baby getting any dugs. We also all realize that there are no medals for going natural. But I think, in a perfect L&D situation, every woman would want the least amount of itnerventions possible and wouldn't say "yes, please put a needle in my spine/drug me/have the stork fly by my room and just drop the baby off just for kicks...even though the pain isn't unbearable to me". It's about weighing risks and benefits to mom and baby. Everyone (God willing) ends the process with a healthy baby to take home...same prize no matter how you get there.
Everyone's L&D experience is different. This means everything from their pain intensity to their health to the size of their baby to BF/latch issues, etc. Just b/c one person you know happened to have an epi and had latch issues with their baby, doesn't mean that was the cause. I know plenty of successful BFers who had epis. Just like I know people who went natural and were unsuccessful with BFing for a variety of reasons. EACH individual experience is different.
Please research what is best for YOU and be open to alternatives should it not be going how you planned. Healthy baby, happy mom. That should really be the main goal.
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Re: Epi, Natural, Drugs, Stork Delivery...
Great post!
And if you could hook me up with a Stork Delivery that would be great!
Honestly, I didn't see any scare tactics down there. If you consider saying that you want to go natural because you want to avoid side effects a scare tactic you would also have to consider saying you want the epi because you don't want to experience pain a scare tactic as well because people certainly are fearful of pain.
I agree that it's a personal choice and that everyone needs to decide for herself, I'm just confused as to where this post came from.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
I just see a lot of things posted on here on both sides. I think a lot of people fear the pain and, if they consider themsleves to have a high pain tolerance and/or want to try natural, I think they should. Without having peopel say "just you wait..". It's hard to hear people talk about how they HAD to have an epi b/c they were in labor for 48 hours, etc. Just as it is hard for people who want an epi (and know they do for whatever reason) to hear people talk about how it can cause paralysis or babies born from moms who have epis may have BFing issues.
I think a lot of people (as wrong as it may be) rely on limited sources of information to make their decision (be it hospital birth calsses, a certain birthing method, their Dr., friends, etc.). So instead of "Jenny down the street had an epidural and has had back problems ever since" or "My cousin Sarah's baby woudln't latch right after birth and it's b/c she had an epi" or "My Aunt Ida had a 48 hour, excruciating natural labor and there's no way I would ever do that", I think people need to be educated on the topic and be open to the fact that things may not feel or go as planned. I hate seeing posts of moms who were disappointed with their "birth experience" just b/c it didn't go how they had "planned". If you have a healthy baby, that is the most important thing.
Ok, agree, but I also think that there's more to it than just a healthy baby. I think we should hope for healthy baby, healthy mom and a pair that is treated with respect. I think a lot of the time when people are disappointed with their experience it's not because it didn't go as planned, it's because they weren't treated with respect. Heck, I actually got the natural birth I wanted, but still have residual feelings due to being treated like absolute sh!t by a doctor I had never met before. I'm trying to let go and I hope that typing that isn't read as a scare tactic
I actually think that birth is something to look forward to, not to be fearful of, whether or not your plans include pain medications.
~Working Mom~Breastfeeding Mom~Cloth Diapering Mom~BLW Mom~
Blog - No Longer on the DL ~ The Man Cave
Shawn and Larissa
LO #1 - Took 2 years and 2 IVFs ~ DX - severe MFI mild PCOS homozygous MTHFR (a1298c)
LO #2 - TTC 7 months, surprise spontaneous BFP!
Yes, that's the most important thing, but it's not the only important thing. I've seen multiple posts where women express their regret and sadness at not getting the birth experience they were hoping for, and every time someone says "hey, your baby is healthy, that's all that matters."
Well, it isn't all that matters. Mom's physical and emotional outcome matters too. For women who are susceptible to PPD, it matters a lot. Unfortunately, there are sometimes gray areas with unexpected interventions like c-sections. In some cases, mom might never know whether she could have avoided surgery if she had labored under different circumstances, and that would be a painful reality to deal with emotionally. There are many women out there who, sadly, feel cheated out of the birth they were looking forward to. They deserved to be listened to and not just told to get over it because they have a healthy baby and that?s all that matters.
(I?m not saying that you think the baby?s health is all that matters, you just reminded me of this issue)
I'm still hoping they figure out some sort of teleportation method in the next 7 weeks.
What she said!
DS: 11/8/11 | 9 lb 7 oz, 22 in
DD: 5/22/14 | 9 lb 9 oz, 21.5 in
I'm SOOOO sick of hearing this BULLSH!T! As a mother who unexpectedly didn't get to bring home a healthy baby, I don't want to hear the "I didn't get the birth experience I wanted." If this statement is related to respect, as PP mentioned, ITA.
Every patient deserves the respect of their medical providers. PERIOD.
As for the women who want to complain that they should have held out on this or that, or should have done this differently, quit playing the VICTIM. Do your research. Of course, you can't plan for every situation that may arise, but if you know your options, you can help yourself avoid unwanted/unnecessary interventions. Pick a provider that understands what you're looking for, and actually believes in the same philosophy of birth as you. Be able to whole-heartedly trust your doctor when he/she says that the baby is in distress and the ONLY option for safe delivery is a c/s.
All I hear is whining and I have an absolute lack of sympathy for women who say garbage like this.
Call me cold-hearted or a b!tch, I really don't care. I don't know a SINGLE mother who had a baby born with a prenatally undiagnosed birth defect complaining about how her birth didn't go the way she wanted it. The only thing she's worried about is what the future holds for her baby.
The only thing you ACTUALLY have control over is how you handle the situation.
Kristin, it sucks you went through that, but that doesn't mean that women can't be upset for not having the delivery they wanted. Some births are very traumatic. Just because you can one-up those women doesn't mean that their pain is any less valid than yours. Your lack of sympathy of course makes you cold hearted.
You went through a bad experience. So do other people. Most people don't have the audacity to put down others because their tale of woe is so much worse. A scratch will still bleed even if it's smaller than an adjacent one.
Some women have such traumatic deliveries that they end up with PTS disorder as well as PPD.
Pregnancy # 6
4 missed chances
2 loving children
1 on the way
Except for the fact that I didn't have a traumatic birth experience. I'm not traumatized by it, nor is my DH. Furthermore, my post wasn't meant to "one-up" it was meant to give some perspective.
Again, all I hear is excusing women for whining about their circumstances. In the past, without medical intervention some of these women would have died in childbirth. So, when you come out alive (both mom and baby) and healthy, there's no reason to wish about what could have been. Go through your grieving process for what you think should have been and then MOVE ON!
Popping back over from the 0-3 Month board with my post-delivery two cents.
The only opinion I get annoyed at is the one that there is a right was to deliver a baby. The ones that wonder out loud why anyone would go through medication-free child birth when a nice, shiny epi is being offered up or why anyone would forgo the full childbirth experience just to avoid a little pain. The answer to both of these questions: because not everyone is you. (You = diehard, judgmental do it right or you're a bad mother preacher, not the OP or any particular PP).
I did not get the "childbirth experience" that I had planned, but I am still very glad that I did plan. It allowed me to make educated decisions when intervention became medically necessary and achieve the best outcome given my situation. I do not think that anyone does themselves any favors by evangelizing for one particular birthing method. The only wrong way is the uninformed way.
Well, you're lucky that you're so resilient. Not everyone is. And they should find empathy from other women, not condemnation. Having experiences that affect you emotionally, and having a hard time dealing with those emotions, doesn't make you weak or a whiner. It makes you human.
I didn't answer below, but I wonder how you would have liked it if I did. I was always open to the idea of getting an epidural until I watched a video about how it affects the baby. I won't go into details for fear that someone may call it a scare tactic, but I'm grateful that I found that out and that someone thought to share it with me.
If someone asks me if I'm open to getting an epidural what should I say? I can't just say no and not say why. Am I using scare tactics if I explain what has changed my mind?