Do you think it is inappropriate to bring cupcakes to a birthday party?

Lil Kate · August 2011

My niece (on DH's side) is turning 1. I want DS to have some sort of dessert when everyone is having cake. I made dairy, egg, peanut, soy free cupcakes with a powdrered sugar glaze on top (really aren't very good but DS doesn't know any different. DH thinks I should not bring them because it will overshadow the dessert/cake made by my SIL. I mentioned that I made DS cupcakes to SIL and she didn't seem fazed (didn't actually say I was bringing all of them I don't think). DH thinks it is rude. I just don't want them to go to waste in our house since no one will eat them. ANyway, most peopel are not going to eat them, anyway. What do you think. Bring all of them or just 1 for DS.

TIA

DandelionMom · August 2011

For parties, I always bring cupcakes for my girls. I used to mention it to the hosts but now they just expect me to bring something my girls can eat. I wouldn't bring them for everyone, just for your DS and maybe an extra just in case.

9302006 · August 2011

You definitely don't want your son to feel left out when everyone else is enjoying cake. I would say bring one or two for your son. Or you could call your SIL and ask her if she would mind if you brought all of them.

mrs_kelly1014 · August 2011

I always bring DS a cupcake (or some sort of treat) that he can eat when we're at parties like that. However, I don't really see any reason to bring more than 1 for him. Plus, like you said, the allergy free stuff isn't usually all that good, so I wouldn't really want to bring them and have others eat them. Plus, it is a little weird to bring another dessert to a birthday party (but TOTALLY acceptable and understandable to bring it for your DS!!).

Court0026 · August 2011

I always bring a treat for my kids too. I don't think it is rude at all. To me, it is we either bring him a treat, or we don't go. The end. I do usually let the person who is having the party know (and realize this will get more complicated as he gets older).

Lil Kate · August 2011

DS loved his cupcake and I brought a few for my nieces to eat tomorrow. Didn't bring all of them and probably would have felt wierd if I did. Thanks!

sophie888 · August 2011

NOT rude at all! I would be rude to make your LO watch everyone else enjoy a treat while he gets nothing!!

triplenine · August 2011

Are you kidding. You need to make life as normal as possible for your child, bringing a cupcake that is SAFE for your child is 100% fine and appropriate. Anyone who has something to say, DH or otherwise, is ignorant. Bring enough for your child. 2 just incase one falls on the floor.

ABColeslaw · August 2011

I always bring coconut ice cream and allergen free cupcakes to parties when we are invited. I bring extras and sometimes people will eat them. The last party I went to there was a mom who was so relieved because she didn't feel comfortable asking the hostess if there would be any gluten free options. So her daughter got to have some gluten free, allergen free, vegan pizza with Asher and some ice cream and a cupcake. I was glad that I could do that. And I think I convinced the other mom that the only way to do parties at this point is to talk to the hostess because they can make sure you know where the unsafe foods are, but also to bring her own desserts and special foods so its not an issue.

EastCoastBride · August 2011

ABColeslaw:
I always bring coconut ice cream and allergen free cupcakes to parties when we are invited. I bring extras and sometimes people will eat them. The last party I went to there was a mom who was so relieved because she didn't feel comfortable asking the hostess if there would be any gluten free options.

At first I was going back and forth about bringing all of them, but this is what pushed me over the edge. These days, there may be a good chance there will be another child there who can't eat the regular cake and the mom may not bring something for the child.

Plus, past that, some people may genuniely be curious about how these special foods taste.

I wouldn't make a big deal out of them, but I'd bring them, have them off to the side, and if either your or the hostess hears that someone can't eat the cake- you can offer them upl.

magdusia · August 2011

I usually just bring a little something for my son, but since it's immediate family and you mentioned it to your SIL, i cant see what the big deal is. if anything its a nice gesture.

LSU628 · August 2011

I brought about 6 to a good friend's house for her DS's birthday party. The other kids found them and busted into them. I had to go snag one for DD. The other kids were gobbling them down with no clue they were eating vegan cupcakes. My friend felt horrible when she realized there really was no food at the party that G could eat (she had pizza, doritos, ice cream cake, and some other dips that DD couldn't have). She was not in the least bit offended that I brought food and cupcakes for G so she could be a part of the party. I say if they are your friends or family, they should totally understand. Heck, most of the time when you start talking about allergies, there is bound to be some other kid at the party with some sort of allergy. The last one we attended there was a kid with a peanut/sesame allergy and another one with a cinnamon allergy.

Coleslawcat · August 2011

I often bring a gluten free cupcake for me when I go to parties. I want to be able to join in on dessert too. If it were my child I can assure you I would do it every time. I do not want my child to be left out. I wouldn't bring a whole batch though. I would make them and freeze them and just bring one for my child. Then next party you go to take one out of the freezer, put some frosting on it and you're good to go without having to bake more.

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