found these online thought id share :)

Pregnancy Questions & Answers:

 Q: Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough.

 Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

 Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current

. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural? A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

 Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth? A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

 Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again? A: When the kids are in college.