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MIL wants to buy me a glider
My mother in law wants to be the one to buy me a glider for the baby that was the first thing she said when she found out. Well the glider I have my heart set on at BRU is around 500 dollars and I know there is no way she will buy that one. She keeps showing me one at wal-mart for around 150 dollars. While I do appreciate her offering I know I will be spending a lot of time in the glider since I don't want the baby in our room keeping my DH up since he works and I will be staying home and I want something that will recline and I can sleep in since I will not be able to fit a twin bed in the room like I planned. I don't want to sound like a spoiled brat but I also want something comfortable to sleep in since that's where I will be spending a lot of my time through the first months,
Should I just buy it myself, and explain to her that I would rather buy it or should I just suck it up and use the one she will buy?
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Re: MIL wants to buy me a glider
Get the one you want. We splurged on our glider because it was worth it to us as a long term investment, not to mention the comfort value (<3 La-z-boy). So, mention to her that you really want model X for A,B,C reasons and that instead of her getting you the glider, she can get you ___ for the baby of comparable value and function. Just continue to stress how grateful you are for her offering and her assistance, etc.
At $150, a lightweight umbrella stroller or a nice car seat would work.
BFP 4-19-11. Ezri Ana born on due date, Dec 30 2011!
My Ovulation Chart
Obviously you know what will hurt her feelings and what won't. But I suggest doing as the other pps have suggested. A car seat is important and so is a highchair (something you will eventually use every day).
BTW...a glider that reclines would be wonderful. They didn't have that type at our BRU (only the kind with the gliding footstool). I ended up ordering mine through Target (it doesn't recline) but I never spent that much time in it. I rocked the babies to sleep but I never sat in it and nursed except the middle of the night feedings and that didn't last long since they STTN by 6 weeks.
Awww! That's hard. If it's important to you I'd get the one you want.
MIL probably is thinking glider because it's something special you can use with all your children. For this reason I wouldn't suggest a car seat. Is there anything else "special" you can think of? It'll be easier to not hurt her feelings as much if you gave her a special task that is also meaningful for you. Maybe a nice cradle? Maybe a newborn photo session? Something that can be charished or hold up through all your children...not something more on the useful side.
I would think twice before spending that much on a glider. Since I stopped breastfeeding, I haven't sat in my glider even once. Even when I was breastfeeding a very young infant, I really only used it 2-3 times a day. The rest of the time I was elsewhere in the house (on the couch, etc.).
We paid $150 for our glider at Walmart (and I am not much of a Walmart person), but it looks and feels exactly the same as the $300 gliders at BRU. BRU even sold our same glider, for about $50 more.
Babies cost enough. Is this really something you want to spend that much money on? If you're going to splurge, splurge on nice furniture for the baby's room that they'll have for a long time, or for a great stroller.
As soon as we announced, the in-laws offered to buy our crib (apparently bought SILs as well). At one point, we were considering a ridiculously expensive crib and dresser. DH was very honest with them and told them that we appreciated their offer, but were considering a specific type and did not feel comfortable with them paying that much. We would be much more appreciative if they got us something else like a stroller (which was in the price range of SIL's crib). It turned out that they just had a set amount in mind and didn't care what it was spent on so long as it was durable and would be used by the baby.
So I like PP suggestions of asking for a carseat or stroller instead.
I like the idea of suggesting that she give you a gift card so that you can purchase the recliner because you can get a discount that she doesn't - but then will she look at the one you purchase and realize the price and that her portion didn't cover it?
I would stick with what you want or you're going to be upset about it.
However, I think you're nuts for a) wanting to spend $500 on a glider and b) were considering putting YOUR bed in the nursery. I get the being respectful of your spouse and all that, but trust me, a person learns to sleep through things. H had zero problem with me getting up and down with L while I was on mat. leave and H was off all summer (he works at a college) and got up with L during the night---neither of us had problems sleeping.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
We also bought a nice glider rocker and I'm really glad we did. When I'm nursing I like to feel safe and comfortable. It was definitely worth the money we spent on it.
I would be honest with MIL, with DHs help, in explaining what you're hoping to get then suggesting she contribute her funds to it, or offer alternate suggestions for things you might need. Be prepared that she might tell you she's no longer offering the money at all!
On a side note, as a big worrywart, I wanted to address the idea of your sleeping in the recliner. That could have some really negative effects on the quality of your sleep! Once we moved LO into the nursery, we kept the baby monitor on my side of the bed and DH almost never heard it. Something to keep in mind. Also, please do some research about the dangers of sleeping with baby in the recliner before your LO gets here. I do so worry about the safe sleeping habits for babies!!
Good luck with that. I think that is one of the most often heard saying about having a baby that is just totally full of crap. FIrst, my daughter slept through the night by about 3-4 weeks old. That means she was awake a lot more during the day. And she was a cat napper, so I only got 30-45 minute breaks here and there. Even if I could nap, that wouldn't be healthy. Also, when do you plan to shower, eat, clean the house, relax, etc? Guess what, that happens when the baby naps.
You're setting yourself up for some very lonely and isolate times, it's a recipe for PPD. Putting a bed in the baby's room? That's crazy. The baby may not even want to go to sleep with you in the room.
I would suggest that you wait and see what happens when the baby is born and how it goes. You may have all of these grand plans now, but you'll find that they tend to fall apart once LO is born.
This. I laughed when I read this. This is a myth. Newborns don't sleep long enough for an adult to fall asleep. They sleep for 15-20 minutes at a time. And you're going to be needing to do housework. You probably won't be able to nap during the day for a few months when he/she starts to nap longer. But I do agree with you on the part about not having to get dressed/shower/put on make-up, etc. You'll feel a lot better if you do those things, but I guess they aren't necessary.
She does make good points. I wanted one of those overstuffed cute chairs that cost hundreds of dollars but ended up with a glider off of CL for $100. I'll be honest, I couldn't sit down well for 6 weeks after delivery, we did all the feedings in my bed or on the couch.
There is no way in hell DH would let me sleep in a recliner or anywhere BUT our bed after the combo of pregnancy, delivering the baby, recovery, and breastfeeding.
In the very early days I did snooze when baby did, but once the visitors left, that stopped. I couldn't fall asleep, I was dying for a shower, that was when I could finally pee, do a load of laundry, straighten up the house, pay attention to the dog, call a friend to chat...
My H fell asleep with the baby on his chest in a recliner once by accident and the baby almost came crashing to the floor. I'm damn lucky I happened to be walking by at that point and swooped in and caught him.
Not only are you off in new-mom-myth-lala land (sleeping when the baby sleeps...pssh!) you're also setting yourself up for neck/back issues. D/t the c/s, I ended up "sleeping" on the couch/recliner seat for almost a week when we came home from the hospital and I ended up in the urgent care clinic for a pinched nerve in my shoulder. There is no physical pain quite as awful as back/neck pain and the good meds are not compatible with BF'ing, just an fyi.
Additionally, assuming that every single snort, sniff and breath doesn't wake you up (and it will, for awhile), what's going to happen when you decide to move back into your bedroom and that baby has gotten used to you sleeping in the room with him/her? Honestly, I have a child that was in my class (at 4 years old) that still had mom in the bedroom with him. She was uber worried about him when he was an infant (SIDS and the like) and she slept in the room with him. Now he can't sleep on his own and anytime she tries to separate, he goes into screaming fits.
Yeah, have fun with your $500 glider.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
I've slept in a recliner before for long periods of time, since I have and had horrible reflux all my life that wouldn't subside even with the head of my bed elevated. Sleeping in s recliner will not be a problem. I don't have to clean etc my DH already knows for the first few months he will be doing all of that, but I'm not sure whats the difference from the baby sleeping in the bassinet in my room or the bassinet in his? I'm sure for a few weeks/months until he can sleep through the night will not cause him to need me there every night. I do not plan on sleeping in his room forever just until he can sleep long enough for me to not keep my husband up.
I do not want a glider with a wood and then a cushion on top I know I will never use that. I was not asking if it was necessary. for me to get a 500 dollar glider I have already deemed that necessary. We will be saving a lot of money on swings and clothes and etc since a friend of mine just had her 5 th and last child. So as he grows out of his stuff we will be getting it. But this is a piece of furniture that I plan to keep not just get rid of I have searched on craigslist and I will continue to since I don't have to purchase anything this minute, but I was asking about my mil not if you thought I needed this glider or not.