Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Question for moms of 3+
All I know is that my 40+ neighbor who has 3 kids (aged 4-9) says it's WAY more exhausting than just 2. I think it really just depends on the kids and the individual.
But not everyone things it gets easier with a higher number of kids... she'd definitely disagree with you on that.
I have no personal experience with this, so take my post with a grain of salt.
My paternal grandmother had seven children. She told my mother that the transition from 2 to 3 was the hardest.
A mom of 9 told me one to two is the hardest transition, after that you can do anything. I also hear it goes from man-on-man defense to zone defense.
Whatever you choose, may it work out exactly as you hope!! Good luck
Maggee - I've heard the "man-on-man vs zone" comment before from a former boss who had 5 children, lol!
I keep thinking about all the practical reasons like financial impact and higher risks as I get older and all the late nights I swore I would never do this again and how much I miss my free time...but then I think about holding a new little baby and how much I love hearing my kids laughing and how sweet it is when they hug me or cuddle with me...
I've also heard people say on here many many times that you will pretty much never regret having another baby, but you could regret NOT having one. And I also think that if we do decide to do it, that it will just become what life is, whether it is tough or easy, we won't really know, because we won't know anything else.
We still have some time to think about it, I wouldn't want to do anything till Noah is done BFing and I hope that will be in a couple months, but I know I'll be thinking about this a lot until we come to some conclusion. So thank you for the perspectives!!
I'm stopping at one but am grateful my MIL had an OOPS moment... my DH is the 3rd child.
And she says he was the easiest in some ways.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
I have 3 but my first one is from my previous marriage 100 years ago. She still does demand a lot my my attention though.
Anyway, as you mentioned in your previous post, the reason H and I went for #2 (my #3) was that we thought we would regret later on not having tried for one more.
I would follow your intuition. If you think that somehow you family may feel more complete if you have another one - go for it!
^^^^all of this. For me the hardest was from 1 to 2. And with 5 it is what it is. But I'm also pretty laid back and go with the flow (with a dash of an organizing freak). I don't regret any of them, although S has made it tight financially. But after crunching the numbers, we realize that we will only be in that position for up to 2 years, really, so that's not too bad. In 1 year, it will only be S and K in daycare. In 2 years only K will be in daycare. I can handle that.
Oh, and keep in mind, L is considered special needs. He is time consuming with all the hospital visits, and the extra school help, but it all somehow fits. And I make sure that they all have what they need from me (and DH does too), I don't want any of them to feel as if we don't give them the time and attention they need from us.
And yes, I do have down time. And a lock on the bathroom door.
I applaud you for even thinking about this! 2 is all we can handle, in particular day care costs are a factor. If another one comes along, we'd have to consider one of us quitting their job. And we both like working too much. There are many times I'd like one, but I just consider going to a friend's house and holding her baby then.
And since I told DH in the throes of drug free labor that we were not having any more children, I could not stand to hear "I told you so.".
My third is not even a month old so it's hard for me to judge right now how the transition will be. Right now it's a breeze but I'm sure that will change once Sullivan becomes mobile.
From your post, it sounds as though deep down you truly know that you want another child. I think if that's the case then you should try because like people have said, you don't want to look back with regret. Will it be more chaotic and harder financially? Yep, probably. But will it bring more love into your family? Yes to that as well.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Thanks so much for all the feedback! I really thought I was sure I wanted to go for it, but lately we've been having some rough days and I'm questioning myself again. My sister has 3, and I talked to her about it for a long time. She told me it is really a lot of work. But she also pointed out that in her case, her two older kids were already 4 and 7 when her third was born, and she and her DH had been way past the baby stage by then, so the shock of having to deal with nighttime feedings, diapers, bottles, etc. again was hard for them. I would avoid a lot of that since we'd try right away and Noah is still small.
Today, I was realizing that I really really love the idea of being pregnant again and having the baby - I mean labor and delivery. I'm just not as certain that I would love having another toddler, or three year old, or teenager!
But see - even as I'm typing this, I'm thinking that of course I would love to have three kids running around the house, playing and fighting and everything. Aargh!! I'm so indecisive!!!
From all that I've seen in my life and those of the people I know it's easier to have children in sets of 2. Not twins although that is easier than you think. I mean have one and then another within a 2 year span. Grouping children together instead of having odd numbers helps with all sorts of things even if the set do not get along. Seems a little crazy to some, I'm sure, just been my observation.