- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
January 2011 Moms
I need to vent.
So, a few weeks after Emalyn was born my MIL started making comments about how "her nose is finally starting to look normal!" Ummm...my kids nose is fine! Apparently Emalyn go absolutely nothing from me, like DH just shot her up through my vajingo and she mutated into a baby from just his genes even though our baby photos are IDENTICAL! I got out my baby photos and DH AND MIL thought they were Emalyn. I was so excited to shove in her face that they were me. She just commented on a photo I just posted under my mom saying "I love her hair so much" and MIL said "At least she finally has hair!" She was born with a head full of dark brown hair!!!! She's always had hair! It wasn't always long and fluffy like it is now but she's always had hair!! She has never said anything like this about BIL's new baby girl and worships the ground is older daughter walks on. Emalyn was sleeping in K's (our niece, BIL's older daughter) toy room in her PNP and instead of asking K to just wait a few minuets until Emalyn woke up (K is 9 years old, she can easily understand this) K sulked because she wanted to play in that room so MIL told her to just go ahead in and play but don't wake up Emalyn. Yeah, she went in and tried to pick Emalyn up which resulted in Emalyn screaming bloody murder. There was no reason she couldn't have waited 20 minuets to go into that room when she has a ton of toys all over the house! I love K and L (the new baby girl) but MIL is always favoring them and it's really p!ssing me off!
And here is a picture of Emalyn on my stomach like a minuet after I popped her out...HAIR!
Thank you for listening 
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I need to vent.
I only see the pics you post here and I've ALWAYS admired Emalyn's fluffy hair. Your MIL is a douche. I'll be sure to throat punch her next time I'm out that way.
Seriously though, it sucks that she's acting like that. I'm so sorry. Have you asked your DH to talk to her about it (if he's home)? Or have you maybe said something about it? Not to give her the benefit of the doubt, but maybe she doesn't realize it's so obvious/extreme?
Thank you for the throat punch! She's coming to visit next Sunday (for a week!) and I think that image is the only thing that is going to get me through it LOL!
I've kinda talked to him about it. He thinks MIL spoils K and lets her get away with murder and she does. I've brought up the comments about her nose and stuff and he just gets mad at me for talking crap on his mom even though they have a horrible relationship. He does agree that she favors BIL and his family though. She even told DH once that it's a shame he's just some guy in the Army (he's a Ranger instructor and just made up a new class for the school on ammunitions from scratch. He had to teach it to everyone in this part of the school so he's not just some random dude who schams out) while BIL is really getting his life together. Getting his life together as in he just got out of jail a little over a year ago for the 4th time, his 9 year old daughter will get her drivers license before he does, he's doing acid again, and just got word that he might have to go back to jail for previous charges...but, ya' know, she's SO proud of him and DH should really be more like him.
WTFFFFF?! Sorry your MIL is being such a douche. Why do people have to be so crappy?
My ILs weren't too happy about H enlisting either. We thought they'd be really excited when they found out we were expecting (it's their first grandchild), but they've been very detached from the whole thing. It's so disappointing.
WTF?????? ok she's just an idiot. Don't let anything she says bother you. Obviously she's off her rocker if she's more proud of BIL than your DH. Maybe she's trying to overcompensate with BILs kids because they have such a scheisty father? Whatever is going on with her, just let the stupid stuff she says roll off your shoulder. Not worth it.
ETA: But I totally understand how it's annoying, and please vent anytime.
Yes! I think anyone in the military deserves more respect than that! The weird thing is, she has a ton of Army stickers all over her car yet says stuff like the to DH! She says she supports the troops but how can you really support the troops when you don't even support your own son? Her friend has a son in the Army and she is always talking about him but not her own son!
I'm sorry your IL's are detached. It's so sad that families aren't really families anymore.
Maybe, I mean BIL is great with the girls and is a very loving guy and really is trying but that's no reason to tell DH what she did. Can't she be equally proud of them? Not proud that BIL is doing acid and maybe going back to jail but proud that he has a job and is somewhat trying. DH said BIL and MIL have always had a better relationship. Plus, BIL never stands up to MIL when it comes to his older daughter whereas DH and I are very assertive. Thanks for listening! P.s Would it be totally weird if I added you on FB? Feel free to call me a creeper and tell me to stay away
sorry OP that sucks!! i hate when families play favorites like that. my family does that sometimes too (but not as extreme) and it really makes me mad. I am just so proud of DD and I think she is the best thing since sliced bread, and if they can't see that, it just makes me sad & mad that they have to play this favoritism game. Hope it gets better for you!
PS- i *love* the pix of LO in your siggy, i love her fluffy hair too!
Of course she's favoring your BIL's kids, and of course your H doesn't say or do anything about it... this has been the dynamic between him and his brother his whole life. He's used to it and so it doesn't seem weird to him unless you force him to recognize that yeah, it IS weird (inequitable, jerky and quite frankly toxic).
The old saying applies here, though... you can't control other peoples' actions. You can only control your reactions to their actions. I'd come up with a few stock phrases. "yeah, she totally looks like H. Except for like, her ears and eyes and cheekbones and the shape of her head and her chin and wait, what was the question?" or repeat "I have to disagree" whenever she asserts that E looks nothing like you. I also would make sure you advocate for your kid. If your MIL says, suuure K, do things that disrupt E's day! Say you'd rather not and offer a distracting alternative, "hey, I see your Barbies over there K. Why don't you and I play Barbies! What's this one's name? What's her favorite song? (etc)."
If it makes you feel better, my kid is still all but totally bald, and the hair she does have is dishwater blonde so it doesn't show up well in pics. Unless your MIL is needling you about it, it's kind of cute. lol. This is her Lambie pic from 2 weeks ago:
bald, bald, bald, bald. But cute! (imvho).
Thanks so much ladies! I'm really working on standing up to her but I hate picking fights (which is why it took me 2 years to tell her that I didn't need to hear stories about DH and his ex having sex and she needed to stop talking about it). Last time she came down she totally screwed up Emalyn's schedule and I'm not letting that happen this time. I think I'm to the point where I just don't care if I start a fight because there's going to be bickering either way. I say this now but hopefully I can follow through in 12 days
DH has gotten so much better at supporting me when it comes to her though. She kept trying to tell us that we needed to wake Emalyn up from her naps because they were to long and after I told her like 4 times that we believed in "let a sleeping baby lay" he said it to her and she never said another word about it.
ETA: Broccolitree, you're right, you're DD is cute! Everything from the tiny bit of hair to the chubby baby legs (I love chubby baby legs!!).
Hey Juliebean. Send your MIL my way.... tell her she has a date with a military member.
I'm not all that far away! If you'd like I can scare the bejeezus out of her with the ol' 'shoot the apple off the head' trick. I shouldn't miss... I only missed marksman by 2 bullets the last two times I qualified. 
Seriously though, she's a douche and just looking to bully you into what she thinks/wants. It's really crappy that she treats your H like that but BIL is Ahhhmazing. Fvcked up. Any time you get the opportunity, smother on the compliments for your H and how much your ADORABLE daughter looks like you. That, and start declining events where she is. You have better things to do than stress about her and how she affects your family.