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Georgia Babies
Open Letter to the Grandparents
To my well-meaning parents and in-laws:
Thank you for all the time you spend with my children. Thank you for the generous free babysitting you provide. And thank you, generally, for being supportive of the way DH and I have chosen to parent our children.
I understand that you may think I'm rigid about their sleep schedules. I understand that you feel I put the children to bed at an unreasonably early time. I understand that you believe "they don't look tired" or "they aren't acting tired." I understand that you believe they don't need to go to bed at their normal bedtime if they had good naps.
Please understand, though, that we're not being capricious or arbitrary about their sleep schedules. We have very good and very thoroughly researched reasons for why we do what we do around bedtimes. I know that DH and I went to bed later when we were our children's ages, but we also had stay-at-home mothers and could get up later. Our children go to bed earlier because they have to get up earlier. And yes, I know they may not appear tired because they're bouncing off the walls, but trust me when I tell you that they're actually overtired at that point. Bumping bedtime back because they had longish naps results in more disturbed sleep for them, not less. Putting them to bed before they start acting exhausted is much, much, much easier on all of us than trying to wrestle tired and cranky toddlers through their bedtime routines.
So please, before you make comments about how they don't seem tired or they can go to bed later because they had good naps or how early we put them to bed, before you decide to ignore or fudge on naptimes or bedtimes, consider that you're making our jobs as parents harder than they need to be. Because the day after the too-late bedtime or the missed nap is not pretty, and disturbed sleep begets more disturbed sleep -- for everyone in the house!
Love,
your exhausted daughter and son
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Open Letter to the Grandparents
I cannot imagine. My Mom lives in Marietta and I am TOTALLY willing to drive an hour there and back (twice!) for the free babysitting. It destroys their schedule but usually in a way that ends up being early bed time while at Mom's then another early bedtime at home. Mom's rule is "If you whine you get a nap. And afternoon naps are mandatory." All for the cost of four hours of driving....
Although FIL BEGS to keep P overnight MIL refuses unless I am hospitalized. Forget Isaac altogether...
Hang in there. Your boys are getting older and soon other relatives and friends will be willing to take an overnighter for you.
I'm an A-hole and I sorta don't even care if my parents feel like keeping the girls overnight. I mean, my parents adore my children and pretty much bend over backwards to do any and everything they want which I know can be exhausting but still, set some boundaries man. We live less than a mile away, I guarantee you one of the biggest reasons I put up with all of the drama that comes along with living close to them is so I can say, "here ya go! Mommy will see you in the morning. " I have a weird relationship with my parents though. I assure you they have as little respect for my time as I have for theirs