bad mother award

heatherom · August 2011

Not talking about Casey Anthony but I know this one girl that really deserves an award for being a crappy mother. And normally I don't poke my nose in anyone else's business or parenting style and I am usually not much of a gossipy person but this girl thinks she's a great mom and I just have to disagree.

First of all, I can't say anything to her face. She is a nice girl and has been nothing but sweet to me. Also, she is my BF's buddy's baby mama and they work together, so I don't want to start any drama. She is kind of young, I think 22 years old. She just had a cute little baby boy who is now about 4 months old.

So here's what rubs me the wrong way. And she probably thinks I'm a mega b*tch because I don't hang out with her but I literally can't bring myself to be around the crap she does. So, first off, her house is disgusting. She has dirty dishes piled at least 3 feet high in her tiny little apartment kitchen that are so old there's mold growing on the plates. She leaves food out everywhere and doesn't clean it up for days. She has 2 dogs and her house smells like dog and dirty kitchen all the time. There's random garbage all over her floor, covering the stains in her carpet that she never cleans up. It's gross in there and I get the heebie jeebies just walking into that house.

Secondly, she smokes pot. ALL the time. So her house also reeks of pot. She is constantly stoned, which if she didn't have a breastfeeding baby, I wouldn't have a problem with cause I smoked my fair share of pot in college. Needless to say, I wouldn't (and don't) smoke pot while pregnant or around my kids period. Especially not if I am beastfeeding.

Thirdly, and this is what bothers me the MOST. She is addicted to painkillers and buys them no matter how broke she is. Her and her BF are heavily into taking painkillers and it's like NORMAL to them. She even talks about how she's gotten good at identifying pills, can look them up in her nursing school textbook on medications, and researches them online about their effects on babies and the safety of using them. She says she only takes "safe" pills. That makes me so mad I can feel the hair on the top of my head start to raise.

So everyone coos and comments on how sweet and good her baby is. He hardly cries, he doesn't do much other than sleep and when he is awake he just...stares. I want to scream at people that he's probably doped up out of his poor little head. They say what a good baby he is and how lucky she is, and she just beams and takes all this credit for having such a wonderful kid and how great a mom she is to deserve a baby like that. I want to vomit.

I can't stand how she does this sh*t and justifies it. She says she doesn't breastfeed right after smoking pot. She only takes "safe" pills and waits an hour before breastfeeding. I am a huge advocate of breastfeeding but in this case, I think this baby would be better off on formula.

So yeah, I can't be around this girl. I feel like I'm contributing to the abuse of a child and I can't say anything to her so I just stay away. Well, yesterday she posts on Facebook that her baby got Salmonella....and she can't figure out how.

Angry

Summer0715 · August 2011

I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

MzB2308 · August 2011

Summer0715:
I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

agreed

heuy · August 2011

MzB2308:
Summer0715:
I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

agreed

Yes Yes

Tash2315 · August 2011

Definitely a case of child abuse. Call your local social services and they can investigate.

micaela421 · August 2011

heuy:
MzB2308:
Summer0715:
I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

agreed

totally agree with everyone!!!

iluvmylab · August 2011

Summer0715:
I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

This for sure. You need to call. No need to say anything to her face, but you are guilty of not reporting child abuse- which is a crime.

JennyLiz75 · August 2011

Yikes! I totally understand not wanting to get involved but you already are just knowing about the situation. A dirty house is one thing but drugs in your system while your breastfeeding is a whole other story. Even if you attempted to talk to her...if she's hooked on pills she won't stop taking them, it won't make a difference...it will cause drama, like you already stated. I hate whistle blowers but since there is a baby involved I think I would have to make that call too.

Belichick · August 2011

Summer0715:
I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

Seriously, this!!

FFS, that baby is sleeping or quiet because he's high. Please think enough of him to report this.

Rebecca2024 · August 2011

Summer0715:
I hate to say this to you but if you know this information to be true then you are contributing to child abuse as you haven't stepped up and contacted your local department of health and human services and informed them of this situation. Please make the phone call - you can call and remain anonymous and it very well could save the health and/or life of this child.

In your post you say you "feel like [you're] contributing to the abuse of a child" in your last paragraph.

Irregardless of what other posters think (however, they all seem to agree with you), if YOU feel like it's child abuse, you are obligated to call the authorities.

iluvmylab is correct (unless your state is the exception to all others, 'cause I'll admit I haven't looked up the law in all states), you are committing a crime if you do not report her.

Leave it up to the police to decide if it is true abuse.

There are no penalties, so far as I know, if you report her and it turns out not to be abuse.

You have nothing to lose and that baby has the world to gain...

missyscadoo · August 2011

I agree with what everyone else is saying about calling the authorities. My opinion comes from the fact that everyone talks about how horrible of conditions I lived in and some of the older aunts and things talk about how they would cry when they dropped me back off at home. My parents were teenagers and constantly stoned. They weren't bad people and the state would have simply made them clean up and step up in order to keep me (which is what they would do to the people you are talking about). You really can call in anonymously and no one need ever know that it was you. It could have been a neighbor or who knows, but that child will be better off if you do coming from a child who people waited years to make a call on.

InTheSun · August 2011

You need to call DCF immediately. There should be no doubt in your mind that you're doing the right thing by calling. If you don't want your BF to know you're calling, pick a time while he's out. The call could last a half hour. You need to know last names, her address, and who lives in the house. They will go over to her house to investigate. If they don't think anything is awful enough to take the baby out of the home, they will keep your report on file. Keep calling every time you hear her confess something to you or see the abuse going on...the more calls that are made, the better.

You should feel responsible to call. Help save this kid!

tabithawoolf · August 2011

My cousin's now ex husband got with a lady who had jus lost her 3 month old baby. Wanna know how? She went into the next room to shoot up and came back and the baby had suffocated. I imagine smoking pot and/or taking pills requires this woman to leave her baby at some point. Please call for her child's sake.

tracij12 · August 2011

JennyLiz75:
Yikes! I totally understand not wanting to get involved but you already are just knowing about the situation. A dirty house is one thing but drugs in your system while your breastfeeding is a whole other story. Even if you attempted to talk to her...if she's hooked on pills she won't stop taking them, it won't make a difference...it will cause drama, like you already stated. I hate whistle blowers but since there is a baby involved I think I would have to make that call too.

This! You are in a bad spot, but unfortunately for the baby's sake you can't just look the other way. Good luck!