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3rd Trimester
peanut2b
member
Uh oh....I'm in trouble...
peanut2b
member
Mil is upset...darn. DH and I are not going to her neice's baby shower this afternoon.
We have 19 days until my LO is scheduled to arrive...but she could be here any day. I can't do much because of PSS. We have to finish setting up the baby's room, DS room, and the rest of the house needs to be put back together after the major renovations that were just finished....plus clear out our basebent thats finished but served as a hold-all during the construction. Plus, we have a group of my family that is coming to visit right after the baby gets here....(they were invited by my DH to help me because due to his job, he won't be able to get off work much.)
We expressed that because DH is the one doing most of the work, he has to do it on the weekends...we have 3 weekends left and a LOT of work...so we aren't going to be able to make it. Here's how it went down:
MIL: I just dont understand why youre waiting til the last minute. She's home...why hasn't she been doing this stuff?
DH: She can hardly move. She's in pain anytime she makes a movement and is on modified bedrest. And we haven't been waiting...we've been doing all we could every weekend. We haven't had any help.
MIL: Daddy would have helped you that weekend but I told you he had to mow the lawn.
DH: Well mom if the fact that we just don't have time isn't enough, how about that I don't want to take her into such a stressful situation right now. Your family doesn't like her and is usually pretty rude to her. They usually only talk to me or (DS) and if they dont ignore her, they're mean. I don't want to stress her out right now.
MIL: This is my niece...it's more imortant to celebrate her new baby than worry about her feelings.
DH: Well I'm sorry but I'm more concerned with my wife and your grandchild right now. Sorry mom, but she isn't the only one having a baby and you seem to have forgotten that we are having one too. We sent a gift with our regrets so hopefully she will survive our absence.
DH hangs up and says to me: Well guess we can count on as few visitors as possible after the baby arrives.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Uh oh....I'm in trouble...
So there's this boy. He kinda stole my heart. He calls me "Mom"
Voted "Mom of the Year" 2012 Sweetpea Mom Awards
Go DH - so glad he stood up for you!!!
I just had to thank you for posting this because I have a similar MIL situation where she constantly talks about her niece who is having her second child a month after I'm due with our first child, and her grandchild. It's really hurtful to be second fiddle when you'd expect she'd be more excited/concerned/etc. about her own grandchild. My DH finally said something about it and now they just don't really talk about either baby, but at least that's a little bit better. I hope you enjoy the weekend of getting things ready, and again, thanks for posting, maybe it will make you feel a little better that you were able to help me feel a littler better.
Bravo, DH, bravo.
I think this was my favorite thing your DH said. "Well I'm sorry but I'm more concerned with my wife and your grandchild right now."
I feel for you guys. Is any of your family or even friends nearby that could help your husband? If so try to enlist them to help you move things where they need to go.If nothing else promise pizza.
I wouldn't worry about MIL at this point. Let her stew. Chances are though people from her side will show up just to see what changes have been made and to see the baby. This is where they come by just to be nosy.
// I love you too. //
I decided to just let DS and DH have their own opinions about MIL and it seems to be working out in my favor because it's almost as if she can't help but shoot herself in the foot. She basically ignores DS when he's there (unless it's really a good time for her) and DS feels like she's a stranger...won't hug her, and doesn't really ever ask about her...and DH is starting to see things that he hadn't really paid attention to before. I'm a big girl and can handle his family but I do let him know that I'm not exactly comfortable.
My entire family is over 1000 miles away and they were nice enough to fly up to help take care of DS while DH works a good bit of the time....I'm very happy to have them here and I'm so lucky because my DH loves them too and is more than happy to get our little house ready for a few more people to sleep for a week.
Damn you for being sick! Arg! lol MIL is being very ignorant of your situation. You lucked out with an awesome DH since he stuck up for you!
By PSS, do you mean pubic symphysis issues, or progressive sclerosis? I'm curious what PSS stands for.
Pregnancy # 6
4 missed chances
2 loving children
1 on the way
PSS is what my doctor calls Pubic Symphasis Seperation...some call it Pubic Symphasis Disorder.
Ooo, I went through that as well (fortunately, I've somehow healed enough this past week for it to be downgraded to regular ol' pelvic girdle pain). People can be down-right rude and ignorant about how painful it is, can't they? It's PAINFUL! And debilitating. It's horrible and just makes it worse when others don't even try to understand how badly it affects your daily life.
I just got a book on Amazon "Relieving Pelvic Pain During and After Pregnancy... " It looks like a good read so far... Might be worth checking out at your library if they have it
Pregnancy # 6
4 missed chances
2 loving children
1 on the way
This story made me smile. You're husband sounds like he really has a good understanding of his family and of how to make sure that he doesn't allow his priorities for you to be compromised.
Hooray for your husband!
Yuck. Your MIL sounds like a peach.
Your DH is awesome. Consider yourself saved from a truly exhausting (and potentially hurtful) afternoon.