alcohol disguised as dessert- vent

morsey2011 · August 2011

My DH planned a surprise anniversary trip to a nice little spot. He booked a room at a bed and breakfast and got a package that included a couples massage and nice dinner. We had a wonderful Italian meal at this super nice restaurant, and at the end of the meal, our waiter brought two little glasses compliments of the owner. They looked like those dessert shots you can get at Applebees and Chilis so I thought yummo! I took a little sip just to taste and knew immediately it had alcohol in it (I'm a non-drinker even when I'm not pregnant). I gave mine to DH and asked what was in it (he used to be a drinker) and he said Kahlua he thought. So I made him casually ask the waiter what was in it and he proceeded to say coconut rum, Kahlua, and some other ingredients. I was like what in the world?!? Is it not obvious I'm pregnant and probably not a good idea to give a pregnant woman alcohol disguised as dessert? I was so mad! I didn't say anything to the waiter, but I'm still thinking what moron does that?! Sorry, had to vent.

maryNamory · August 2011

a few months back there was a discussion about coffee baristas who assume they should give decaf and that it wasn't there place. It could be that this is a listed menu item and as per customer service they assume the customer will check the menu and do as they are inclined.

Liz4444 · August 2011

If you're at an Italian restaurant and they give you a complimentary after-dinner drink, always assume it's alcohol. Usually it is Limoncello, but it is customary, they were not trying to be rude, on the contrary, they were trying to be nice. I'm assuming the owner didn't see you, only knew it was your anniversary, and if he did see you, you were most likely sitting so he couldn't tell you were pregnant. I would let this one go.

morsey2011 · August 2011

maryNamory:
a few months back there was a discussion about coffee baristas who assume they should give decaf and that it wasn't there place. It could be that this is a listed menu item and as per customer service they assume the customer will check the menu and do as they are inclined.

I had scanned the dessert menu prior to dinner, and we didn't request the dessert. I just feel like he should have said it had alcohol. I can see where if I had ordered it, but having already told him that we didn't want any after dinner drinks or dessert, I feel he should have mentioned it or asked.

LCass · August 2011

maryNamory:
a few months back there was a discussion about coffee baristas who assume they should give decaf and that it wasn't there place. It could be that this is a listed menu item and as per customer service they assume the customer will check the menu and do as they are inclined.

I think there's a big difference between giving someone decaf when they didn't say they wanted it when they ordered, and giving a complimentary anything and not saying what it is, especially if it's alcoholic and you're pregnant. That said, if I got something and didn't know what it was, I'd ask before diving in.

rkto · August 2011

morsey2011:
maryNamory:

a few months back there was a discussion about coffee baristas who assume they should give decaf and that it wasn't there place. It could be that this is a listed menu item and as per customer service they assume the customer will check the menu and do as they are inclined.

I had scanned the dessert menu prior to dinner, and we didn't request the dessert. I just feel like he should have said it had alcohol. I can see where if I had ordered it, but having already told him that we didn't want any after dinner drinks or dessert, I feel he should have mentioned it or asked.

I have to agree that they should tell you. What if you were allergic? a recovering alcoholic? religiously opposed? taking medication? so many things. There are a lot of people that dont drink alcohol for many reasons.

morsey2011 · August 2011

LCass:
maryNamory:
a few months back there was a discussion about coffee baristas who assume they should give decaf and that it wasn't there place. It could be that this is a listed menu item and as per customer service they assume the customer will check the menu and do as they are inclined.

I think there's a big difference between giving someone decaf when they didn't say they wanted it when they ordered, and giving a complimentary anything and not saying what it is, especially if it's alcoholic and you're pregnant. That said, if I got something and didn't know what it was, I'd ask before diving in.

Yeah, right after, I thought "I really should have let DH taste that first before I took a sip". And it was a tiny sip, DH said I couldn't have got much because he finished mine off. I'm over it. I didn't complain or yell at anyone, and even left the waiter an awesome tip lol.

Kitty Holland · August 2011

I don't get it - if you wanted to know what it was you could have just as well asked.

kat72883 · August 2011

A month or two ago I ate a small portion of some tiramisu from Ruby Tuesday - had briefly glanced over the menu, but I love tiramisu so probably didn't actually read. And typically I buy what is I am sure low-quality tiramisu (definitely doesn't have alcohol from the supermarket!). Anyway. We took it him and I started eating it and then decided to check their online menu and low and behold, it had multiple types of alcohol in it. I was really upset with myself for awhile but it's fine. You and your LO will be fine too. (As far as whether they should have told you or whatever . . . different story.)

christiney06 · August 2011

rkto:

I have to agree that they should tell you. What if you were allergic? a recovering alcoholic? religiously opposed? taking medication? so many things. There are a lot of people that dont drink alcohol for many reasons.

then YOU should be the one to ask. I work at a restaurant and if you don't want to drink, then tell your waiter! it's no big deal at all! i would never ever assume someone was pregnant, i don't care if she's crowning at the table! you just do your job and let the responsible adult take care of themselves.

rkto · August 2011

christiney06:
rkto:

I have to agree that they should tell you. What if you were allergic? a recovering alcoholic? religiously opposed? taking medication? so many things. There are a lot of people that dont drink alcohol for many reasons.
then YOU should be the one to ask. I work at a restaurant and if you don't want to drink, then tell your waiter! it's no big deal at all! i would never ever assume someone was pregnant, i don't care if she's crowning at the table! you just do your job and let the responsible adult take care of themselves.

I would agree IF she ordered it herself off the menu. But she didnt get to see the description. In that case, the waiter should have at least said "this is a souffle with cheese and Kahlua. Please enjoy" (okay that is the most disgusting dessert ever)

As for the pregnancy factor -- a little bit of alcohol isnt go to cause any issues for the baby.

preggersin2011 · August 2011

If you are that anti-alcohol anyways, why did you ask what was in it before you tried it or told the waiter at the beginning you didnt want to be served or offered any alcohol? Depending on the type of restaurant it was and how professional they are, they wouldn't be denying you anything. It's none of their business if you are pregnant or not even if you look it. I could be just as pissed last night when I went to dinner (i'm very pregnant looking) and the hostess removed my wine glass from the table!!! I told her very nicely to put it back we planned on ordering a bottle of wine.

HappyAardvark · August 2011

Are some of you seriously *that* worked up over having ingested probably miniscule amounts of alcohol in some random desserts? Wow - I must have a real problem - I had some tiramisu the other week, KNOWING it had a little bit of alcohol in it - and I enjoyed every bite.

And usually if someone brings me food or drink that I didn't specifically order at a restaurant, I'll go ahead and ask what's in it first. But I guess that's not the norm for everybody?

LovieBear · August 2011

that teeny tiny sip of alcohol didnt do anything harmful to you or your baby. geesh! You probably did more harm ingesting food treated with pesticides and meat injected with growth hormones. For peets!?

StephK · August 2011

Kitty Holland:
I don't get it - if you wanted to know what it was you could have just as well asked.

Pretty much this. If you feel that strongly about alcohol and it came in a shot glass.. why not ask what's in it before trying it? Besides, maybe it's just me, but unless they mentioned specifically that it was dessert, if it comes in a shot glass, I'm going to assume it has alcohol in it.

Liz4444 · August 2011

kat72883:

A month or two ago I ate a small portion of some tiramisu from Ruby Tuesday - had briefly glanced over the menu, but I love tiramisu so probably didn't actually read. And typically I buy what is I am sure low-quality tiramisu (definitely doesn't have alcohol from the supermarket!). Anyway. We took it him and I started eating it and then decided to check their online menu and low and behold, it had multiple types of alcohol in it. I was really upset with myself for awhile but it's fine. You and your LO will be fine too. (As far as whether they should have told you or whatever . . . different story.)

Tiramisu is soaked in alcohol before they bake it, any alcoholic content cooks out and you only get the flavor. Otherwise, they wouldn't be serving it to children. I know pregnant women that are concerned with tiramisu, but it's because of the marscapone cheese in it and whether it's pasturized... not because of the alcohol.

EarthMommi1 · August 2011

HappyAardvark:
Are some of you seriously *that* worked up over having ingested probably miniscule amounts of alcohol in some random desserts? Wow - I must have a real problem - I had some tiramisu the other week, KNOWING it had a little bit of alcohol in it - and I enjoyed every bite.
And usually if someone brings me food or drink that I didn't specifically order at a restaurant, I'll go ahead and ask what's in it first. But I guess that's not the norm for everybody?

This. Last week after celebrating our anniversary, I managed to have a glass of champagne AND a half glass of red wine at dinner. Only one person gave me the side eye, and our waiter was polite about the whole situation. So I don't understand why someone would get upset about drinking a sip of some alcoholic dessert. Also, I don't generally eat something given to me without asking what it is either.

alison2379 · August 2011

HappyAardvark:
Are some of you seriously *that* worked up over having ingested probably miniscule amounts of alcohol in some random desserts? Wow - I must have a real problem - I had some tiramisu the other week, KNOWING it had a little bit of alcohol in it - and I enjoyed every bite.
And usually if someone brings me food or drink that I didn't specifically order at a restaurant, I'll go ahead and ask what's in it first. But I guess that's not the norm for everybody?

As always, HA says it best.

This post has overreaction all over it.

karinothing · August 2011

A lot of nicer restaurants give you a complimentary alcohol drink at the end of the meal for special occasions. I don't see what the big deal is, since it is so common. If you have restrictions you need to speak up, it is not the restaurants responsibility to watch out for you if they don't know the situation.

ETA: People must think I am a horrible person because I am taking my midwives advice to do a shot of whiskey when I start early labor.

morsey2011 · August 2011

alison2379:
HappyAardvark:
Are some of you seriously *that* worked up over having ingested probably miniscule amounts of alcohol in some random desserts? Wow - I must have a real problem - I had some tiramisu the other week, KNOWING it had a little bit of alcohol in it - and I enjoyed every bite.
And usually if someone brings me food or drink that I didn't specifically order at a restaurant, I'll go ahead and ask what's in it first. But I guess that's not the norm for everybody?
As always, HA says it best.
This post has overreaction all over it.

I do admit I overreacted, and I will chalk this up to a lesson learned. Never assume anything because well, you know what they say when you assume. And just so everyone knows, I don't judge people who choose to drink occasionally while pregnant. I'm sure I do things that some of you choose not to do. To each their own.

nic326 · August 2011

christiney06:
rkto:

I have to agree that they should tell you. What if you were allergic? a recovering alcoholic? religiously opposed? taking medication? so many things. There are a lot of people that dont drink alcohol for many reasons.

then YOU should be the one to ask. I work at a restaurant and if you don't want to drink, then tell your waiter! it's no big deal at all! i would never ever assume someone was pregnant, i don't care if she's crowning at the table! you just do your job and let the responsible adult take care of themselves.

Yup, totally agree. I waited tables forever and never assumed anything about anyone. There are women who are PG who drink and have dessert that includes alcohol. I am pretty vigilant about asking the ingredients of certain things as well and it would be pretty obvious to me if a dessert came out with Kahlua in it. The smell alone would make me think twice

atchaleigh · August 2011

Liz4444:
kat72883:

A month or two ago I ate a small portion of some tiramisu from Ruby Tuesday - had briefly glanced over the menu, but I love tiramisu so probably didn't actually read. And typically I buy what is I am sure low-quality tiramisu (definitely doesn't have alcohol from the supermarket!). Anyway. We took it him and I started eating it and then decided to check their online menu and low and behold, it had multiple types of alcohol in it. I was really upset with myself for awhile but it's fine. You and your LO will be fine too. (As far as whether they should have told you or whatever . . . different story.)

Tiramisu is soaked in alcohol before they bake it, any alcoholic content cooks out and you only get the flavor. Otherwise, they wouldn't be serving it to children. I know pregnant women that are concerned with tiramisu, but it's because of the marscapone cheese in it and whether it's pasturized... not because of the alcohol.

Tiramisu is not baked at all. Sure you can find some recipes out there that call for it, but I have never made a baked tiramisu or heard of anyone baking it.

soon2bjmn · August 2011

I have never heard of a dessert shooter, I would assume that it was an after dinner drink with alcohol.

preggersin2011 · August 2011

morsey2011:
alison2379:
HappyAardvark:
Are some of you seriously *that* worked up over having ingested probably miniscule amounts of alcohol in some random desserts? Wow - I must have a real problem - I had some tiramisu the other week, KNOWING it had a little bit of alcohol in it - and I enjoyed every bite.
And usually if someone brings me food or drink that I didn't specifically order at a restaurant, I'll go ahead and ask what's in it first. But I guess that's not the norm for everybody?
As always, HA says it best.
This post has overreaction all over it.
I do admit I overreacted, and I will chalk this up to a lesson learned. Never assume anything because well, you know what they say when you assume. And just so everyone knows, I don't judge people who choose to drink occasionally while pregnant. I'm sure I do things that some of you choose not to do. To each their own.

what is there to even judge or not judge regarding those who drink during pregnancy? it is completely acceptable all over the world and only here in america where alcohol is viewed as the devil regardless if you are pregnant or not do those get the evil eye for drinking it. half a glass of red wine each night in the 3rd trimeter has far more health benefits than risks & is often prescribed by doctors(yes even american doctors) plus a glass of wine a week your entire pregnancy is good for you

forensicmama · August 2011

Yikes! I would have complained. They shouldn't go handing out complimentary desserts without telling people what's in them, for one thing, let alone HELLO! Big belly here! Ugh.

Miss Shasta · August 2011

I guess I am the minority here and think the way most of you responded are over reactions. She didn't even say anything to the waiter. I could see how you could think she over reacted if she went on a big hormonal rage or something. She just said she took a drink, realized it had alcohol in it & handed it over to her husband. Honestly, I would have also assumed it didn't have alcohol in it.

Liz4444 · August 2011

atchaleigh:
Liz4444:
kat72883:

A month or two ago I ate a small portion of some tiramisu from Ruby Tuesday - had briefly glanced over the menu, but I love tiramisu so probably didn't actually read. And typically I buy what is I am sure low-quality tiramisu (definitely doesn't have alcohol from the supermarket!). Anyway. We took it him and I started eating it and then decided to check their online menu and low and behold, it had multiple types of alcohol in it. I was really upset with myself for awhile but it's fine. You and your LO will be fine too. (As far as whether they should have told you or whatever . . . different story.)

Tiramisu is soaked in alcohol before they bake it, any alcoholic content cooks out and you only get the flavor. Otherwise, they wouldn't be serving it to children. I know pregnant women that are concerned with tiramisu, but it's because of the marscapone cheese in it and whether it's pasturized... not because of the alcohol.

Tiramisu is not baked at all. Sure you can find some recipes out there that call for it, but I have never made a baked tiramisu or heard of anyone baking it.

You're right, i was thinking about a different cake I've had that's soaked in rum... tiramisu is soaked in espresso.

alison2379 · August 2011

Miss Shasta:
I guess I am the minority here and think the way most of you responded are over reactions. She didn't even say anything to the waiter. I could see how you could think she over reacted if she went on a big hormonal rage or something. She just said she took a drink, realized it had alcohol in it & handed it over to her husband. Honestly, I would have also assumed it didn't have alcohol in it.

She was "so mad" about it. Indifferent

kat72883 · August 2011

Liz4444:
atchaleigh:
Liz4444:
kat72883:

A month or two ago I ate a small portion of some tiramisu from Ruby Tuesday - had briefly glanced over the menu, but I love tiramisu so probably didn't actually read. And typically I buy what is I am sure low-quality tiramisu (definitely doesn't have alcohol from the supermarket!). Anyway. We took it him and I started eating it and then decided to check their online menu and low and behold, it had multiple types of alcohol in it. I was really upset with myself for awhile but it's fine. You and your LO will be fine too. (As far as whether they should have told you or whatever . . . different story.)

Tiramisu is soaked in alcohol before they bake it, any alcoholic content cooks out and you only get the flavor. Otherwise, they wouldn't be serving it to children. I know pregnant women that are concerned with tiramisu, but it's because of the marscapone cheese in it and whether it's pasturized... not because of the alcohol.

Tiramisu is not baked at all. Sure you can find some recipes out there that call for it, but I have never made a baked tiramisu or heard of anyone baking it.

You're right, i was thinking about a different cake I've had that's soaked in rum... tiramisu is soaked in espresso.

Never made tiramisu before but I'm pretty sure the lady fingers are soaked. I usually just buy it from ShopRite (call me uncultured) so obviously it doesn't have alcohol in it (or unpasteurized cheese). Ruby Tuesday's menu said coffee liquer and rum as well. I had enough to start feeling it but I am a lightweight. But like I said, I'm fine. It made me feel bad for a few, but gotta keep everything in perspective. The coke I had at lunch was probably almost as bad in different ways.

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