Thinking of selling our house

b2b999 · July 2011

We are done ttc , it hurts to even say that, but we are done. We purchased our dream house at the beginning of ttc for the family we presumed we would one day have. We were naive.

So now we are living in the 3 bedroom 2 bath house in a quiet small town in a good school district, and it is just the two of us. I can't get past this thought that we should sell the house and move into an apartment in town. It would be cheaper, we would have more money to travel the way we want to.

Has anyone else done this? I am trying to figure out what a childfree life is going to look like for us...and I don't know that it includes a big old house.

hollymichael · July 2011

We are in the opposite situation. We wouldn't fit into our current place with a child. Before the m/c, we were looking at houses. Now we can stay put. There is enough room for the two of us.

In your case, I would only consider moving if you want to move. I wouldn't do it if you feel like you should move because the house is too big for the two of you. If you like where you live, then stay there.

b2b999 · July 2011

We love this house, it is perfect for us in every way and was to be our "forever home" in which our kids would grow up, and then they would have brought our grandkids and maybe even our great grand children. It is perfect...for a family. We are a couple, a very happy couple, but there is just the two of us, and now, absent a miracle of God (in which we get pregnant on our own or win the lottery to pay for IVF) it will always be just the two of us...in a house meant for the play and laughter of children. It has a play room for gosh sakes...with foam block floor and a cut away from my craft room that looks onto it.

The money saved by downsizing we could use to retire earlier, travel the world, and in the end the not be staring at the rooms and places we dreamed of our children would stop driving me crazy. But it is the ultimate step in saying we are going to live childfree and we can stop the rollercoaster of indecision between yearning for what we can not have and the life we could be living.

MBfromBMC · July 2011

b2b999:

We love this house, it is perfect for us in every way and was to be our "forever home" in which our kids would grow up, and then they would have brought our grandkids and maybe even our great grand children. It is perfect...for a family. We are a couple, a very happy couple, but there is just the two of us, and now, absent a miracle of God (in which we get pregnant on our own or win the lottery to pay for IVF) it will always be just the two of us...in a house meant for the play and laughter of children. It has a play room for gosh sakes...with foam block floor and a cut away from my craft room that looks onto it.

The money saved by downsizing we could use to retire earlier, travel the world, and in the end the not be staring at the rooms and places we dreamed of our children would stop driving me crazy. But it is the ultimate step in saying we are going to live childfree and we can stop the rollercoaster of indecision between yearning for what we can not have and the life we could be living.

I know I am not a poster on this board, nor do I fit the description, but I feel this way often. DH and I bought this house for our children and here we are just looking at empty bedrooms, a silent family room and a lonely backyard. We bought it for the space and the school district, and now we're just paying for things we don't use.

If you totally love your house, you should stay, but if you think you could enjoy life more with extra money for travel, then I would go for it!

poppy4 · July 2011

We were in this situation when we "stopped" TTC. When we got married we bought a 4 bedroom house on a corner lot in a family minded area. Since we stopped TTC we have downsized to a 1 bedroom apartment in a highrise building in downtown. We love it! We can walk to everything plus we have closer access to the major higways that can take us to anywhere in the state. It just works best for us.

sillygirlio · August 2011

We have the opposite problem too, our house would be too small if we had a child... but I think it would be a smart move to downsize...

GildedIcon · August 2011

I soooo understand your pain. DH and I built our dream home a few years ago. Now we have a 6 bedroom home and we are the ONLY PEOPLE in the entire planned neighborhood (98 homes) who DO NOT have children. It is so hard not to feel left out. We have never been to our community pool or club house to avoid 'it all'.

My icing on the cake was on way home from one of our failed IVF's we had to drive past our neighbor who was pushing her baby stroller and obviously preg. with their second. She had stopped in front of our house to tend to the baby. I thought I was going to scream from my soul.

We look young for our age so people keep thinking we are getting ready to start our family

We are going to keep the house.

b2b999 · August 2011

GildedIcon - wow six bedrooms - can I ask what you plan to do with all your space. If we stay I need to find uses for all the rooms. Right now we are using one as the adult guest room and one as the kid guest room (I have a lot of neices and nephews that stay over alot so it is nice to have a space that is kid friendly for them to stay in.) But sometimes I feel like our house is a bed and breakfast with so much of the upstairs dedicated to guests.

GildedIcon · August 2011

b2b999:
GildedIcon - wow six bedrooms - can I ask what you plan to do with all your space. If we stay I need to find uses for all the rooms. Right now we are using one as the adult guest room and one as the kid guest room (I have a lot of neices and nephews that stay over alot so it is nice to have a space that is kid friendly for them to stay in.) But sometimes I feel like our house is a bed and breakfast with so much of the upstairs dedicated to guests.

Good Question- hired a contractor to take the bedroom closest to the master brm and turning it into a dressing room/walk in closet. Our current master brm already has 2 walk-ins so we are thinking of taking the one and making our bathroom a REALLY big bathroom.

Another bedroom is becoming a man cave football/movie room-complete with surround sound. Normally I would prefer to have this in the lower level but it is not finished. We fiq. we would do this after we had children Now it is just MORE space.

Another bedroom is my pilates room, I have pilates equipment that requires space.

That leaves 2 guest rooms.

At this point we would only finish our basement if we needed to create an in-law apartment. It is a walk out and is plumbed to have at least a full bath. We both have aging parents.

BeeBee08 · August 2011

MBfromBMC:
b2b999:

We love this house, it is perfect for us in every way and was to be our "forever home" in which our kids would grow up, and then they would have brought our grandkids and maybe even our great grand children. It is perfect...for a family. We are a couple, a very happy couple, but there is just the two of us, and now, absent a miracle of God (in which we get pregnant on our own or win the lottery to pay for IVF) it will always be just the two of us...in a house meant for the play and laughter of children. It has a play room for gosh sakes...with foam block floor and a cut away from my craft room that looks onto it.

The money saved by downsizing we could use to retire earlier, travel the world, and in the end the not be staring at the rooms and places we dreamed of our children would stop driving me crazy. But it is the ultimate step in saying we are going to live childfree and we can stop the rollercoaster of indecision between yearning for what we can not have and the life we could be living.

I know I am not a poster on this board, nor do I fit the description, but I feel this way often. DH and I bought this house for our children and here we are just looking at empty bedrooms, a silent family room and a lonely backyard. We bought it for the space and the school district, and now we're just paying for things we don't use.

If you totally love your house, you should stay, but if you think you could enjoy life more with extra money for travel, then I would go for it!

This is me exactly.

We have a location already picked out should our life go in the child-free direction. I will not stay in the house I live in now. It will kill me.

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