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3rd Trimester
CA2006
member
PSA - Sleep is not selfish
CA2006
member
A post in the "Advice" thread below really struck a nerve with me...saying that it's selfish for new moms to want sleep after labor and delivery. It was this kind of thinking that landed me in near-PPD-land with DS. I kept thinking that completely sleep-deprived was just something I had to get used to and I had this baby, so I didn't have the right to ask for help. Well, guess what? Sleep is a NEED, not a want.
If we don't sleep and rest, we can be a danger to our little ones. I can't tell you the number of times I woke in a panic, not knowing if I put DS back in his bassinet or not after his last feeding. And having to drive our newborns around in a sleep-deprived state? Not comforting at all. Yes, there is natural sleep deprivation when you have a baby...that's to be expected. But if you need to get some rest and send your newborn to the nursery for a night or call a family member or friend to help out for a few hours so you can rest...DO IT and do NOT feel guilty about it. You will be recovering too and you want to be the best mom possible to your newborn.
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Re: PSA - Sleep is not selfish
i had a c section and we kept DD in our room the first night, even though the nurses and my Dr. said i should rest. i didn't get any sleep--i was 3 days in with no sleep by that point. the 2nd night my Dr. ordered me to send DD to the nursery and they brought her to me to BF--i got 6 hours of sleep total and felt like a new person.
med free, c section, whatever....you are going to need your rest, having a baby is draining and exhausting. and you aren't doing anyone any favors by staying awake for days in a row.
agreed! you are prepping your body for some good sleep that you aren't going to have for a pretty long time. and wouldn't knowing that you have a team of nurses and doctors there to care for the baby while you re-coup make you feel a little better about it?
absolutely! I wish someone had told me this after my first child! live and learn! we have no one to help so I plan to hire help for a few weeks while I recover!
I don't understand how taking care of yourself is selfish? If you aren't healthy and with it, then you aren't going to be able to take care of your child properly. There are no prizes for being a Mommy Martyr. Getting the rest you need makes sense.
One of my biggest fears is doing something wrong when I am sleep-deprived. I would rather be rested (as much as is reasonable, to function properly) after L&D so that I can put all of my focus on my LO, not whether or not I'm going to keel over.
Not all Canadian hospitals are like that. I think it depends on the area. The hospital in my hometown has a nursery, so you can send the baby there.
Thank you! That post really got under my skin. I went into labor with DD at 3 am and had her the next morning at 2am. By the time we all got to the recovery room, it was past 5 am and we didn't get to sleep until 6. We were up at 8 for them to take her for testing. She slept all day and we were up with visitors so by the next night, we'd been up for almost 48 hours. I didn't want to send her to the nursery, but the nurses suggested it so that we could sleep. It was a good decision for us and allowed us to take better care of her when they brought her back.
I don't care if you don't want to send your baby to the nursery, that's your choice. But saying it's selfish is just ridiculous.
2 of my friends had babies at the same hospital. Only one was told about the nursery option. Sometimes, you have to ask.
Go Phils!!
Great post...I could not agree more!
The nurses at my hospital actually acted surprised when I asked for DD to go to the nursery! Sure, I had a fast delivery....BUT I was in the hospital for 3 days prior to delivery for monitoring. As many of you know, you can NOT get good sleep while in a hospital. I was exhausted and needed a couple nights of good sleep before coming home.
I've also seen a lot of posts about your first "date night". Some people, including my own friends, feel guilty for going out when they have a newborn. Personally, I think a couple hours away is a good thing. DH and I went out to dinner while Grandma babysat when our DD was 3 weeks old. While we aren't ready for an overnight trip to Grandmas yet, once our LO is a little older we are definitely going to take advantage of that!
There is not a nursery option for me at the hospital I will deliver at. The baby rooms-in the whole time. The nursery they have is NICU only, not for healthy full-term babies.
I did not mind the rooming-in with DS, DH stayed with me and was able to handle most of the diapers, etc while I was still laid up from my c/s. This time around DH will be staying with me again, DS willl be staying with Grandparents.
Although, FTM please SLEEP when you can. The second day I was there my mom was at the hospital with me while my DH was running errands, showering, etc. I should have taken a nap while she was there, I didn't. I definitely paid for it later. Most of our visitors were in the evening (friends, IL, etc).
This time around I plan on taking a nap during the day, then hopefully I won't be quite as tired when I get home (yeah, right.)
Also FTM, really TRY to sleep when the baby sleeps once you get home. Even if you don't think you need it, at least lay down and rest, it will do you a world of good. My mom stayed with me during the day for a couple weeks once we came home, she would "send me to my room" when the baby would fall asleep. I am forever grateful for her forcing me to sleep in those early days. You will be shocked how much a nap will help with your mood and sanity.
It really annoys me when I'm told to "get my sleep now because you won't be getting any when the baby comes." Um. Maybe not more than a couple of consecutive hours at a time, but I d@mn sure will be getting sleep. My hospital actually doesn't have a nursery, but FI and I have a strict agreement - he will be helping out caring for LO when we're at the hospital, and we'll be switching off for nighttime feedings and changes after we're home as well. I'm going to be pumping specifically to allow him to do nighttime feedings.
I don't consider sleep an option, because I remember staying up with DD#1 for 72 consecutive hours when she was a little over two weeks old, and then having to drive my younger brother to school one day. The ride there was bad enough, even with him there engaging me in conversation and keeping me alert. The ride home from dropping him off was pure TORTURE. I could barely keep my eyes open. I was crying from fear when I got home, and I immediately put DD in her bassinet and took a nap until she woke me up for a feeding. It could have ended way worse.
// I love you too. //
My little CHD warrior. Born 9/29/11. Got his new heart 10/20/11
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No joke.
We insisted on keeping her in room the first night, even though the nurses gently suggested we let them take her to the nursery. It was a mistake, we were so exhausted from the day, and we really needed to sleep.
They were more insistent the next couple of nights, and looking back, I am glad we let them take care of her for a few hours We NEEDED to sleep. Once you get home, it's all you. Take the help when you can.
I'm not saying it was super easy to watch them wheel her out of my room, it wasn't. And I had a lot of guilt about it. But it was the best thing, I can see that now.
This.