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3rd Trimester
bumpuser5468658
member
DH and I were talking....
bumpuser5468658
member
I don't know if any of you install your carseats months in advance or not, but DH and I were talking about people doing this and came to the conclusion that unless you are taking the carseat out with you all you are doing is getting used to the carseat being in the car and not taking it out. This could be why some people are forgetting their babies in the car....sometimes with tragic results. I am just saying, you might want to think twice before installing your carseat and driving around with it in the car for 2 months in advance. Does anybody else think this is logical?? I find it just as easy to grab as we are headed out the door the the hospital....kinda like the hospital bags. however, this is our second and we are very comfortable installing it.
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Re: DH and I were talking....
This. If you leave your baby in the car you are just a plain idiot. I saw a child in a car one day and waited until the mom came back. It was about 2 mins. I just stared at her, she didn't even look my way. I would have called the police but I didn't have a cell phone...Sorry that was OT but I don't see the need to install it months in advance. A week should be fine.
this. having your carseat installed vs. having your live baby in the backseat is a huge difference. we plan to install ours again around 36 weeks so that DD gets used it being back there with her and being moved to the other side of the car.
That is a very interesting theory! When I was pregnant with DS1, I was soooo excited that I had the car seat in right after the shower (I got it as a gift). Never left my baby in the car. Although, DH thought I was being silly. : )
You get excited for the first baby, but when #2, #3, etc comes, you tend to wait a little longer. Only because it's more clutter in the car. HAHA! I haven't put the infant seat in yet. I'll do that in the next couple weeks cause I have only 5weeks to go!
I think this is kind of ridiculous. What is the excuse for the daycare workers or bus drivers that leave kids in for hours?
We went to the car seat check on Monday and have left the bases in our cars but the actual seat is in the house. We will just grab that on the way out or DH will go get it later. I felt like I was going a little late because it was only 2 weeks before my due date but it was the free one and I felt July was too early to ride around with the bases because they do take up room. I didn't want to have to deal with the bases multiple times if I didn't have to. It is also good to get them checked in case you need to get another seat due to issues with your seat. If I have any other children, I will still get the seats checked because they also will let us know any new regulations.
First, OP, i don't think there's any correlation. And second, DisneyFreek, i wouldn't be so quick to judge. There was a great discussion about this on NPR's "Tell Me More" the other day - Below is the link to the transcript and i just cut and paste one of the relevant bits:
" Well, first of all, I talked to 13 parents who had done this and a surprising number of them said, you know, before it happened to me I was the kind of person who would, when you hear about a case like this, say how could anybody be so irresponsible. The people who follow these cases tell me that the parents who do this are very often the most careful parents. They're the ones who have bumpers on the furniture, they have locks on the cabinets. These are people who are very committed to being the best at things.They want to be the best parents. They want to be the best at work. They are over committed and that can be a terrible collision. I want to tell you that in reporting this story I had one particular advantage in approaching these parents, I almost did this to my daughter. Thirty years ago I came within seconds of killing my daughter. It was in the heat of Miami. I was going to work. Same sort of fact pattern. And the only reason that she's alive today is that at the last minute, just before I was about to turn off the car and go into work in a 90 degree Miami day, she woke up and said something. And that's why she's alive and not a little pile of bones in the ground somewhere. "
The rest of the story can be found at:
https://www.npr.org/2011/07/12/137790387/leaving-kids-in-hot-cars-foul-or-forgivable
All this taught me was that it can happen to anyone. I've been that person who's been absolutely overwhelmed with things to do and, after hearing that story, it gave me nightmares for weeks. I still shudder at the thought of it and my LO isn't even here yet.
I really doubt there's a correlation. I plan on putting the infant seat in around 35-36 weeks.
I went into PTL with DD1 at 35 weeks, and didn't have all of that stuff ready to go. Thankfully, it was stopped, but I want to be prepared for it this time just in case. Plus, like pp said, I want DD1 to get used to it being back there to help ease her into having a sibling.
I think it's smart to install your seat ahead of time, even if you're a 2/3/4+ mom. Over half of the car seats in cars right now are installed incorrectly, and it's not just first time parents that are installing them incorrectly. I think it's wise to at least install the base, and get it inspected... but to each their own I suppose. The last thing I want to worry about is loading our vehicle with the base, car seat, bags, etc., and then having DH install the base while me and LO are sitting in the hospital ready to go.
I don't think there is a correlation between installing the car seat and leaving your child in the car though. Parents that forget often do so because they're usually sleep deprived, and in almost all cases, there was a change in the routine (i.e.- mom took LO to daycare instead of dad, and stopped at the dry cleaners on the way, and then forgot to stop at daycare and went straight to work). And the amount of parents who leave their baby in the car vs the amount of parents who install their car seat in advance is so vast that it pretty much proves that there isn't a correlation.
Please tell me when I am a week from giving birth
Kidding aside - some women go into labor at 37 weeks and some at 42. so installing at 36 to be prepared is not a bad idea. It just may be there awhile
My carseat base Is installed in my car. Its been in there for a few weeks now, granted I put it in there because I couldnt find a place to keep it. If I am in an accident then I guess I would have to get a new base for my carseat but im not that concern.
I have never left my son in the car and Im pretty sure I had the car seat installed before he was born as well. However I can kinda see the theory of it.
I'm one of those "idiot" parents, apparently! My son was adopted at 2 years. He fell asleep in the car after he'd only been with us a few weeks and I got home and forgot we even had him. I went in the house and had to think for a minute and realized that I had a child that I had left in the car. He was fine, still asleep. It happens. I've also driven to work in the morning to realize that I still had a carload of kids that I forgot to take to daycare. You'll be surprised how your brain changes when you have the added responsiblity of children. It's easy to judge when you're not there yet. It goes along with those parents who say that their kids will never watch TV, get a bath every night and never eat hotdogs because they're processed meat. Wait til your're there before you make those kinds of statements or you may have to eat your words!
In re: installing the carseat early.... I understand the theory but I don't think that's why people forget their kids. In fact, you're gonna be so stinkin' excited (and maybe a nervous mom) that all you're gonna think about is that baby. I do think it's smart to install it early to make sure its installed correctly and that it fits in the car the way it's supposed to. Yes, if you're in an accident, you will need to replace the seat even if there is no damage but insurance should cover that so I don't think its a big deal. Happened to my friend - accident at 8am, new seat in her car before noon.
I just installed the base in my car and left the seat in the house. You won't forget your brand new kid, people tend to forget their kids when one person usually drops off or picks up and there is a change in schedule so the other person has to do it. They go into auto pilot and forget.
Funny story, I bugged my husband about installing the car seat in his truck because I knew he:
1. Had never touched a car seat and it would be easier with me there (lots of car seat experience over here).
2. He wouldn't want to take my car when the time came.
Well I went into labor and had to drive myself to the hospital in my company car (no carseat) to meet him there.
The day we went home I asked him if he had gotten it installed correctly and he assured me that he had.
I got into the truck to find the carseat base installed (although not level), but the car seat was backwards facing forward. He admitted that he wondered why it didn't fit really well, but he figured I'd fix it. It took 2 seconds to fix, but it was a funny example of my husband's refusal to read directions.
Logan - 11/09, Lander 08/11, Baby #3 ~It's a girl!!~ EDD: 04/10/14
I had my carseat installed for months before I had DD#1. I have never and will never "forget" her in the car. The carseat for DD#2 has been installed for over a month already. Not going to "forget" her either. No, I don't think that's logical. By that logic I could say that getting used to the carseat being in the house all the time is the reason why some people forget their babies at the house when they go out.
// I love you too. //
I'm a lurker and don't belong here so I apologize in advance. But this topic really grates on me - especially when people say they "could never forget their child" as if people who have are horrible people. I completely agree with you mcatmay that it could happen to anyone. When I hear these awful stories, it is very often a different schedule - i.e. the mom always takes the baby to daycare and one day the dad does and forgets or vice versa. I don't know about you but when I commuted to work, I had a million things on my mind and often thought it could have happened to me. The suggestions I've heard are to leave your bag in the backseat or leave a stuffed animal in the front seat to remind yourself.
I really don't understand how installing your car seat early would = forgetting your kid. Unless I'm reading that wrong??
This. Especially if you want to do what I consider to be the responsible thing and have it professionally inspected at the police or fire department. You will need an appointment. A week is not long enough to get one.
For the ladies who are worried about a car accident, etc - just install the base, assuming you aren't starting with a convertible seat. The base is the "hard" thing to place, and if you have an accident, it's cheap to replace.
How is leaving them in the car when you get home any better than leaving them when you are not home? Leaving a child is leaving a child and the consequences can be the same. Here is a fact: accidents happen. No one is above this happening to them. For ppl to say "your child is the most important thing etc.etc. I would never do this, this would never happen to ME" just leaves me speechless. I'm sure the parents that this has happened to never dreamed it would happen to them. I'm also sure that most of them were wonderful, caring parents who simply made the biggest mistake of their life. Now, I understand blaming negligence and straight up ignorance and stupidity for those who purposely left a child. But I will not put that blame on top of the heavy burden those parents have to bear who have lost a child due to human error. I pray that such a tragedy never happen to any of us, but I hope that we also understand that to err is human. Just think about how many accidents happen around swimming pools and bathtubs...
I seriously doubt that there is any correlation between the two...even if you have it in your car for months, your baby will be new to it and i just honestly cannot see how someone would FORGET that they have a child in the car with them
I have had LOs carseat installed for about a week now. Since im high risk, i have the carseat installed, and my bag in my car just in case i go into PTL which is a real risk for me.
Completely and totally agree with ampetway. The woman who was the topic of discussion on the talk show i referred to was a mom of THREE and a veterinarian. She had already had two kids before, was not new at this game. She ran to the car when her husband called her from the daycare that afternoon, wondering why their kid wasn't at daycare. It was said that the scream coming from that mother when she opened the door was beyond horrifying and resonated through the neighborhood. I think that saying "this will never happen to me" is beyond short-sighted. I read up on how to try to avoid things like that and will echo what a PP said - leaving the kiddo's lunch bag or a stuffed animal in your direct line of sight - those are things that can help prevent a horrible, horrible accident.
Plus, DD1 is in a convertible car seat, which remains in our car at all times, whether she's in the car or not. That doesn't mean I'm going to forget HER.