Community› The Bump Message Boards› 1st Trimester
1st Trimester
New Discussion

any ideas how to make it up to BIL?

KatelynEA90KatelynEA90 member
in 1st Trimester

SO and I haven't told a lot of people that we're expecting yet because we knew family would be pretty upset with us. Only a handful of people know and one of them is a couple that SO, SO's brother, and I are super close with. Apparently SO's brother overheard them talking about me being pregnant the other day and is super upset that we didn't tell him. I feel so bad. We weren't purposely trying to keep it a secret from him, we just wanted to make sure everything was good before we went causing a stir with everyone. I don't mind at all that he knows, I just didn't feel it was my, or anyone besides SO's, place to tell him. We weren't expecting him to be so excited about being an uncle either.

I was thinking about inviting him to an elective ultrasound? any other ideas?

Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
Report Reply to Post

Re: any ideas how to make it up to BIL?

  • mamabear0813mamabear0813 member
    I would just say sorry and move on. There is no reason for him to be SUPER upset. My sister just found out (by snooping and LOOKING for proof that I'm pregnant) and I yelled at her! LOL She was supposed to find out when I WANTED her to find out. Of course, that isn't to say you should be upset with BIL. Just saying that he doesn't need to feel so upset, and you shouldn't put yourself out to make it up to him.

    BabyFetus Ticker
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • vanillacouragevanillacourage member
    Your SO should just make a sincere apology and move on.  Lesson learned.

    You do not need to invite him to an ultrasound.  Not only do they put a lot of your business on show (have to unbutton your pants, push down your undies, etc) but it is a medical procedure, not entertainment.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    DS1 born June 2008 | m/c at 9w March 2011 | DS2 born April 2012
    Report Reply
  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member
    Your BIL is being a baby.  Have your SO apologize and move on.  There's no need to 'make it up to him', you don't owe him anything.
    Report Reply
  • KatelynEA90KatelynEA90 member

    imagevanillacourage:
    Your SO should just make a sincere apology and move on.  Lesson learned.

    You do not need to invite him to an ultrasound.  Not only do they put a lot of your business on show (have to unbutton your pants, push down your undies, etc) but it is a medical procedure, not entertainment.

     

    It would be an elective ultrasound, so it is for entertainment.  

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member

    imagevanillacourage:
    Your SO should just make a sincere apology and move on.  Lesson learned.

    You do not need to invite him to an ultrasound.  Not only do they put a lot of your business on show (have to unbutton your pants, push down your undies, etc) but it is a medical procedure, not entertainment.

     

    You have your abdomen scanned, there's no show involved. 

    Report Reply
  • KatelynEA90KatelynEA90 member
    BIL isn't being a baby about it. SO already apologized and talked to him about it and all is well. I just feel bad. It's no one's fault but that isn't how we intended for him to find out. SO is his only sibling and they are super close because of how they had to grow up and I could see why finding out that way upset him. If it was my sister, I would tell her to shove it. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member
    I still don't see the need to make it up to him.  He's being a baby about it but if you feel the need to offer the invite to the scan then go ahead.
    Report Reply
  • mamabear0813mamabear0813 member

    If you would have invited him to an elective ultrasound anyway, sure. But don't do it to apologize.

    It isn't revealing at all! Unless you're stupid like me and wear a dress instead of a skirt or pants. unless for some reason you are having an intravaginal ultrasound (which it wouldn't be if it was later in pregnancy) you barely pull your underwear down at all. If you wear low rise panties you may not need to move them at all.


    BabyFetus Ticker
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • RacquellG10RacquellG10
    Its up to you
    Report Reply
  • ChrissyMarie007ChrissyMarie007
    People do NOT get to be angry about when YOU CHOOSE to share YOUR news. And why is your family upset -and why do you care?
    Report Reply
  • KatelynEA90KatelynEA90 member

    imageChrissyMarie007:
    People do NOT get to be angry about when YOU CHOOSE to share YOUR news. And why is your family upset -and why do you care?

     

    My family is upset because we aren't married yet and don't plan on getting married immediately just because we are expecting now. I don't really care that they're upset, I would just rather wait until 2nd tri and that things are good before I hear their crap.

    SO's parents are going to be pissed because they believe we should wait until we are 35 to have kids and that if we don't we will end up separated and on welfare. They are alcoholics and ridiculous and SO decided he wants to wait to tell them.

    SO's brother isn't angry he was just upset that he had to find out through someone else and thought we felt we couldn't trust him. SO talked to him and let him know that we are sorry he had to find out like that and that we planned on telling him when we were ready. This will be his first niece/nephew and he's a lot more excited than we expected and I would like to do something special for him. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • AngnShaunAngnShaun
    imageKatelynEA90:

    imageChrissyMarie007:
    People do NOT get to be angry about when YOU CHOOSE to share YOUR news. And why is your family upset -and why do you care?

     

    My family is upset because we aren't married yet and don't plan on getting married immediately just because we are expecting now. I don't really care that they're upset, I would just rather wait until 2nd tri and that things are good before I hear their crap.

    SO's parents are going to be pissed because they believe we should wait until we are 35 to have kids and that if we don't we will end up separated and on welfare. They are alcoholics and ridiculous and SO decided he wants to wait to tell them.

    SO's brother isn't angry he was just upset that he had to find out through someone else and thought we felt we couldn't trust him. SO talked to him and let him know that we are sorry he had to find out like that and that we planned on telling him when we were ready. This will be his first niece/nephew and he's a lot more excited than we expected and I would like to do something special for him. 

     

    im not sure why anyone is giving you restrictions on when YOU are allowed to have children... but i guess thats not the point... i agree with PPs there is no reason to have to make it up to anyone... say youre sorry and move on...

    Report Reply
  • melisa.hessonmelisa.hesson

    I actually think its a sweet gesture - inviting him to be part of an u/s.  Do you NEED to? Of course not, but I get where you're coming from.  If you felt like you HAD to, I would say no, but if you're doing it as a nice gesture and something that would help the family be stronger, then by all means, I think its actually a great idea. I don't know why other people are bashing it... 

    It doesn't have to be that either, a cute onesie dedicated to "Uncle" might be cute, too. 

    Married: 10.28.04 1st M/C 2005 | 2nd M/C & D&C 2007 | 3rd M/C 2009 Pray this one is sticky!!! BFP: July 17, 2011 PCOS Mama IAmPregnant Ticker BabyFruit Ticker image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"