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Parenting
Why do people put "in memory of" on their car?
DH has a cousin that had a still born baby and both her and her H had "In loving memory of xxx" on their cars. I saw another one on my way to work today, it was huge and took up the entire back window.
Does anyone else find it weird?
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Re: Why do people put "in memory of" on their car?
How awful, I am so sorry.
((hugs))
That's awful, i'm sorry.
I don't think I've ever seen one though.
I feel like people really overlook the benefits of a nice commemorative key chain.
I'd be much more likely to wear a significant piece of jewelry that people may ask me about in a more personal setting or I might even get a tattoo of something that was symbolic of the person I lost (somewhere that I didn't ahve to see it all. the. time.)
But I think people handle grief differently and someone may feel they need that constant reminder every time they get in their car, or look in their rearview mirror and maybe they want to be asked about it all the time. It would be too much for me, and I consider myself to be an over-sharer.
LOL EBB!
It's ....weird to me. I mean, do you really need everyone that drives by you to know you lost someone close to you?!
It's no different than any other bumper sticker for me though - people who put bumper stickers on their cars have something to say. Me, for example, I hate bumper stickers. I think they totally ruin the look of a car. Yet I have a big Harley Davidson one on my rear window - my message....I like Harleys! LOL
What is the message when it's "in memory of"? I've lost someone close to me?? Feel bad for me that I lost someone close to me? Or, ???? I don't know. I don't really get understand the point of it. Then again, I don't really understand the point of my Harley bumper sticker either.
I think grief drives you to do things that don't always make sense. But when you're grieving, even weird little things can bring you comfort. And perhaps they do just want to be asked about their loss. Perhaps that's weird to some people. IDK--I don't see myself going and putting that on my car in memory of my dad. But grief is a strange thing, and is different in every person.
Maybe I'm just being oversensitive at the moment, but I really think it's weird to judge someone's display of their grief.
I've never seen it around here. Must be a regional thing.
I don't really get the meaning... The vehicle was purchased in memory of someone??? Is it like when a charitable gift is given in memory of someone? Seems odd that they would go out and buy a car after loosing someone they love, but to each his own. I suppose ghm is right... that grief makes us do things we wouldn't ordinarily find comforting.
David "BD" 2/8/07 Spencer 9/12/11Um... yeah. I didn't put mine on my car just so people would feel bad for me.
And I certainly didn't go out and purchase a new car in memory of my mom. It's a decal.
It was all grieving for me. Nothing more.
I'm with EBB on this. I find it a little (ok, a lot) tacky, but to each his own.
Here it seems to be done when someone is lost suddenly/tragically. (Not that all death isn't tragic - I mean by murder). Usually when they are seen here, it is young people (according to the dates), and it's more of a 'hood thing. When I see them, I just assume it was murder and gang or drug related. How's that for a broad-A generalization?
See, here they're mostly people who died in wrecks, illness or something else sudden (but not murder).
Of course I don't know the car owners personally (of the ones I've seen, and there are quite a few around here)....but I would be *shocked* if ANY of them were gang or drug-related?!?! I've always understood them to be more people that died "before their time," like from cancer or a car accident. It's often parents/friends of teenagers, and I see them pretty regularly here (we live in an upscale, surbaban metro area).
Do I welcome people to decorate their car any way they see fit? Yes.
Do I understand that all people grieve and handle things differently? Yes.
Do I read them and have a moment of sadness for the death? Yes.
Do I think it is weird? Yes
Would I ever do it? No.
Do I think others should stop doing it? No.
Also when my brother died decals were made in memory of him. They did not say "in memory" but had his name 4-16-07 the VT logo & we remember along with his old football number. He would sign his name with #24 at the end all the time. It was silly but part of who he was so it was on everything people did in memory of him. I had 2 (I must be super tacky according to nest standards) but they were different and given to me so I sort of felt obligated to put them on. An for some reason it did help me. Oneif them said brother under his name so I would have random strangers tell me they had prayed for our family (and the other 31) and sorry for my loss. That got to be annoying (would ruin a good day where I hadn't really thought of it for once and then have someone bring it up. But I know they meant well and I do appreciate the thought and prayers. Kind of gladi bought a new van and couldn't put them back up. I peeled them off to save though.
Another family lost their (adult) daughter to a drug OD. They put a HUGE decal in the back of their truck window that said something like "oxcycodine kills even though doctors still prescribe it" and then in loving memory of Jane doe. Mom Dad and her kids names miss you. I always thought that was the strangest message. She died because she was abusing her meds. She isn't reading your window. But I it helps them oh well. I try not to judge too much.
Landon * Kaydance * Kennedy
5/13/05 ******5/24/06
* Baby is due July 24 2012 *
I too believe its cultural and note the dates of the deceased person, generally they are relatively young.
I do believe it helps with grief. There was a young man that died tragically around here this summer and his initials are tagged many places throughout the city, on memorabilla, and I wouldn't doubt his (lack of) parents vehicles. (I say lack of parents, because had they had been parents, he would still be alive).
That sums up my thoughts pretty well
Kelly Monaghan's 5K - 5/15/11 - 3rd Place in AG
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