My first official BFN - AF came

Stellarpuppy · August 2011

It's my first month TTC so I knew it wasn't going to happen necessarily but my body was doing all sorts of weird things like spotting 7 dpo and 7 days before AF normally comes. I was so hoping to wait until Saturday for DH to come home and get that BFP.

So now instead I have major cramps, chills, and am an absolute wreck from crying. I just want my DH home so he can hug me and make me think positive about this! I know the veteran TTC'ers will flame me and think I'm stupid for getting all emotional about this but I have no one to lean on right now and it just hurts so much (physically and emotionally). Now I get to prepare a dinner party for friends while looking like crap from crying and feeling like a piece of sh!t. yaaay

liz4paws · August 2011

I'm sorry. I understand and was very upset the first time I got a BFN too. I don't think any of us TTGP are happy with BFNs, but for some reason that first one stung really bad for me as well. After that, I was more prepared for the potential of a long road ahead. Once I changed my expectations, BFNs weren't nearly as hard. Try to give yourself a "consolation prize" every time AF comes. Have an extra glass of wine, or go and get some of your favorite sushi. Hang in there, and just think of this as the first day of a new cycle to try again. Good luck!

kpowers982 · August 2011

I'm loving the consolation prize idea - that's great!

OP, I just got my first BFN couple of days ago, and I can kind of relate. I'll be honest, I didn't take it quite as hard as you, but I can definitely say I was majorly disappointed. Hang in there.

mt05 · August 2011

Sorry for your disappointment. My first BFN was upsetting as well. At least you have your party tonight to help get your mind off it. Enjoy a big glass of wine instead.

PattersRN · August 2011

I just started my second cycle TTC and when I got AF a few days ago, I felt it was like my body saying "you loose"! It's tough, because once you start trying, you realize how difficult it really is to get KU....it's not as easy as ditching the BC and having sex (well, not for everyone). Even I was a little disappointed because I had almost a "textbook" cycle: 29 days, O'd on CD 15 with plenty of EWCM (and yes, I realize that even if you have a textbook cycle, it doesn't mean you'll get KU).

Really though, the avg woman only has a 20-25% chance of conceiving, in a given cycle (and those aren't very good odds), and you'll notice that many of the women who get BFPs on this board have been trying for more than one cycle (some for WAY more than one).

Just try to give yourself a break and have fun tonight!!

[Deleted User] · August 2011

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abeaverhausen2 · August 2011

liz4paws:
I'm sorry. I understand and was very upset the first time I got a BFN too. I don't think any of us TTGP are happy with BFNs, but for some reason that first one stung really bad for me as well. After that, I was more prepared for the potential of a long road ahead. Once I changed my expectations, BFNs weren't nearly as hard. Try to give yourself a "consolation prize" every time AF comes. Have an extra glass of wine, or go and get some of your favorite sushi. Hang in there, and just think of this as the first day of a new cycle to try again. Good luck!

I'm sorry. I give myself a consolation prize too. For example, this weekend DH and I are going to wine tasting. Good luck this cycle!

megoguen · August 2011

Yes, it's disappointing. But party tonight, drink up, and you're at cycle day 1, instead of waiting, waiting, waiting for AF. You're back to looking forward to O. Keep your chin up, relax and give it some time.

PattersRN · August 2011

abeaverhausen2:
liz4paws:
I'm sorry. I understand and was very upset the first time I got a BFN too. I don't think any of us TTGP are happy with BFNs, but for some reason that first one stung really bad for me as well. After that, I was more prepared for the potential of a long road ahead. Once I changed my expectations, BFNs weren't nearly as hard. Try to give yourself a "consolation prize" every time AF comes. Have an extra glass of wine, or go and get some of your favorite sushi. Hang in there, and just think of this as the first day of a new cycle to try again. Good luck!
I'm sorry. I give myself a consolation prize too. For example, this weekend DH and I are going to wine tasting. Good luck this cycle!

I gave myself a consolation prize too. AF showed up while I was at work, so I had an extra cup of coffee......I like to live on the edge ;o)

farmerlynda · August 2011

Wow. I'm not going to fulfill your prophesy and flame you... but I hope that you wake up tomorrow morning and think "Wow, I really overreacted, how silly of me. It was only my first month trying and this really isn't the worst thing in the world."

GL with cycle #2.

meck716 · August 2011

I'm going into cycle 3 TTC now. We only did the BD one time the first time around, so I wasn't that upset. This last BFN was killer for both of us - DH more than me - since we were in the groove with doing the BD (a lot!). But, we are back in the game and this month I'm starting to chart, and I'll check with OPKs. I'm REALLY crossing my fingers that third time's the charm. Cheer up! Go for that consolation prize (for me it's diet coke and caffeinated coffee!)!

((hugs))

klep88 · August 2011

Sorry you took getting a BFN so hard. But honestly, it sucks every month. You may need to prepare yourself for the fact that it is not going to happen instantaneously. I thought I would be pregnant right away. Well, 4 months later I am still here and not pregnant. It is really going to be a miserable process for you if you get this upset every month.

RobinR91 · August 2011

I just wanted to say sorry. I'm sure everyone is different, but sometimes certain BFNs can be worse than others. Personally, I was ok with my first three, but BFN 6 and 10 were as close to a mental breakdown as I've ever had. I think you need to remember that at least your period came, some women have to wait a REALLY long time for a cycle to come. Also, this is only the beginning, don't put too much pressure on yourself. This is a journey. Best wishes~

newlywedfarmgirl · August 2011

Sorry! I can relate. I got my BFN on Saturday and AF on Sunday. It is kinda depressing, especially since I have been keeping track of my body so closely. It's hard to understand why, because we did everything right on our first cycle. I guess it just wasn't our time yet. I truley believe that everything happens for a reason and pregnancy will happen too us also, but at our time. I don't know if everyone feels this way when AF comes, but I kinda feel like it was a lost chance at life, even though we did what we could. Don't feel alone! When I told DH that AF was here I actually think he was a bit disappointed too. There is always next cycle and I will be there on #2 with you!

annabelleev · August 2011

I'm sorry *hugs*

I just got my first BFN as well. It was start white and it stung Sad

ansi29 · August 2011

BFN for me last night and AF today. Now on to cycle #5. Couple that with lunch today, friends at work joking about how exhausted and emotional I will be while I'm pregnant and I'm feeling a little touchy right now. They don't know per se that we are TTC, they were talking more hypothetically, but it stung because I feel like that reality might be far away.