Morning frustration with 7 year old....pregnancy horomones...

TheresaVasboe · August 2011

Sorry to vent, but I am not sure what I am doing taht is not working, or what to do to make it work. My son is 7 years old with ADHD. I charted a scheduled to help him start getting ready for the new school year. Its basic stuff that he does daily, but something for him to be able to read over and know what track to head on. As now I am 19 weeks pregnant and have the pregnancy brain more then ever.

I put him in the shower this morning and fell back to sleep for a couple minutes, I know bad mom. I got up and checked on him and he was dumping the whole container of shampoo into a bucket in there and wasted it all..without even washing his hair. I had a fit. I got him out of the shower and proceeded to get him ready for daycare. He then knocked his knee on his dresser and began crying as he doesn't take getting bumps and scratches well. Most boys do though. I was livid at this point realizing I was running behind schedule. I feel I am being way to hard on him and myself daily and it wears on my nerves and I break into tears in the car on the way to work as I dont' know what else to do. In the evenings its easier to deal with as my husband is around and between the both of us, we work with him to get things done.

I think my son is having issues now more then ever because the new changes that are occuring. I feel I am doing this all wrong and not sure where to set my focus on. I want to make changes that are positive and especially with him. They kids will be 7 years almost 8 years apart. This is going to be extremely tough on him I can imagine. He's been my baby for so long.

Any advice is appreciated....just worried I am doing something wrong and not sure which way to turn. My heart breaks knowing I am not doing enough or doing to much...I don't know.

Penguinb83 · August 2011

First, take a deep breath Mom...

It sounds like you are a great Mom and you (and DH) are working with him and his ADHD as best you can with the charts and trying to prepare him for school.

I have been feeling a bit overwhelmed like this lately and I feel like I have been taking it out in the kids (7, almost 7, and 4) because of the hormones. What makes it worse is that they don't even know about the baby yet.

When I feel seriously overwhelmed, I try to step out of the room and take a deep breath, cry a little if I need to, pray that I don't blow up on the kids and move on about my day. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Just remember that you are not Super Mom and it is okay to ask for help from family and friends.

Hope this helps Big Smile

TheresaVasboe · August 2011

Thank you. I will try to remember that. Family is not as close as I would like at this time. We live further out then most of them do. I see my side of the family maybe twice a month, even thought I vent to my mother on a daily basis. She too said not to try and be Super Mom, just go with the flow. If I have to let things slide that I normally wouldn't that I would see a change and that some boundries are meant to be broken.

A deep breath is surely what I need. I guess I always felt raising him was going to be a challenge, but now its even more so that we are expecting again. I working my best to do what I can when I can and not to over work myself doing it.

I will keep this in mind though and try to remember leaving a room for a moment may make a huge difference in response. Thanks again! Big Smile

Good luck as well! I know we could all use the boost of support from time to time.

KaylaThering · August 2011

I completely sympathize with you. Its def rough. Everything all at once. my 7 yr old DD has ADHD. Plus Im 22 weeks and have a 3 yr old. Deep breaths and try not to forget its hard on him too. My daughter will get sooo frustrated bc she cant sit still or focus on something that she cries. I count in my head. Her new thing is tormenting her sister. Lately I try not to intervene unless someone is crying or bleeding. lol. Its hard though. My horomones make me want to rip peoples faces off and I have to keep telling myself it isnt her fault and they are just kids.

tosh24 · August 2011

Give yourself some credit! I'm sure it can be very exhausting caring for a child with behavioural issues. I know that just dealing with the behaviour of a child without behavioural issues can be challenging!

Morning time is our most stressful time as well. DD is a big sleeper and hates to wake up. I know it's hard sometimes, but making sure to put her to bed at a reasonable time every night (by 8 PM) REALLY helps in the morning. It's so much easier when she wakes up and is happy. I don't know what getting dressed in the morning is like for your DS, but I also suggest giving him a choice of 2 outfits before bed that he can wear the next day. When he wakes up, it's not a fight to get dressed because both you and he knows what he will be wearing and he can't really complain about it because he picked it! I"ve starting giving DD the choice and having her pick and getting dressed is a breeze compared to what it was like before! Can he take a shower in the evenings before bed? There's no way I'd get DD in the shower in the morning and still make it out the door on time. We do after dinner showers (or showers as soon as she gets home from daycare/school if after dinner is going to be busy).

As for the dumping out shampoo thing....I'm not sure that's totally due to your DS's ADHD or the mere fact that he was left unattended in the shower with lots of stuff around to get in to. My DD is 5 and she would do the same thing if I wasn't keeping an eye on her. She always sneaks into the bathroom and makes "magic potions" out of our creams, shampoo, soap, face cleanser etc. lol! Annoying, and while I do teach her that she has her own special creams to use for magic potions (we buy her dollar store stuff), it's not 100% her fault because I did leave her unattended. I'm sure you know the risks, but I definitely would not be leaving a child that young in the shower unattended and fall back to sleep. Way too many things that could go wrong and become a fatal accident.....

I know there just doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day, but I found that getting myself to bed at a decent hour helps out with the frustration. That way, I'm not tired and irritated in the morning to begin with. Maybe something to consider?

Kristihotgurl33 · August 2011

Im glad to know im not alone on this.. I think that really helps know im not the only mom on the edge and stressing. I keep telling myself tomorrow will be better

jnaden2 · August 2011

I feel for you. I was just telling my husband the same thing. I get so aggravated with my 7 year old. I feel bad because I have more patience with the baby than I do with him. In fact, I do that scream at the top of my lungs & then bawl like a baby because I just yelled at him so bad. All he is doing is being a normal 7 year old boy. Is he involved in the pregnancy?? How does he feel about it? I bought my son the book Making Me: The Pregnancy Activity Book for My Big Brother or Sister. I highly recomend it. He loved seeing how the baby was growing & there was an activity for him to do every day. Unfortunity, it gets worse before it gets better. My patience gets worse the further along I get & then when the baby was born that was really hard for him because I didn't have time to completely focus on the 7 year old & play games like we normally do. But now that the baby is older they get along great. However, it is still difficult because I still don't have the time I use to, but my husband makes sure he is taking him on 4 wheeler rides & tries to do special things with him to make him feel special. All I can say is that the way you feel is completly normal. I am so sorry if this doesn't make sense. I'm trying to work & get back with you at the same time. lol....good luck!!

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